Sperm donor to pay child support
Dec 4th 2007, 11:22 am
#16
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Ah yes....BUT (cat amongst the pigeons time 
)
Surely if you take the decision to create another human life, then there is a moral responsibility to that life? Surely just trying to find a "legal" way out of it is demeaning the importance of the life you have created?
It maybe just me - but I've got no sympathy for the bloke - a child is important & needs to know where it came from. It's not about the money, it's about doing what's right.
)Surely if you take the decision to create another human life, then there is a moral responsibility to that life? Surely just trying to find a "legal" way out of it is demeaning the importance of the life you have created?
It maybe just me - but I've got no sympathy for the bloke - a child is important & needs to know where it came from. It's not about the money, it's about doing what's right.
Sperm donors liked to remain anonymous and not have a kid turning up later and possibly having a claim on finances/wills/estate.
Clinics have already said there has been a drastic reduction in donors now because alot of men want to be just that - anonymous.
People donate their sperm for their own reasons as well as to help a childless person/couple so you cannot blame them for not wanting to become parents in the moral sense.
If I was a man, there is no way I would be a sperm donor - with the new laws, that isnt saying a child isnt important but it does open up a whole new can of worms.
So with a reduction in donors coming forward, then it will be the childless couples losing out in the long run.
Dec 4th 2007, 11:39 am
#17
Da bing bing!
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Kreissknows!!!
Posts: 2,202
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Dec 4th 2007, 11:57 am
#18
Da bing bing!
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Kreissknows!!!
Posts: 2,202
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
But what about sperm donors, children fathered by sperm donors can now have the right to find out about their father and where will the financial implications of this end?
Sperm donors liked to remain anonymous and not have a kid turning up later and possibly having a claim on finances/wills/estate.
Clinics have already said there has been a drastic reduction in donors now because alot of men want to be just that - anonymous.
People donate their sperm for their own reasons as well as to help a childless person/couple so you cannot blame them for not wanting to become parents in the moral sense.
If I was a man, there is no way I would be a sperm donor - with the new laws, that isnt saying a child isnt important but it does open up a whole new can of worms.
So with a reduction in donors coming forward, then it will be the childless couples losing out in the long run.
Sperm donors liked to remain anonymous and not have a kid turning up later and possibly having a claim on finances/wills/estate.
Clinics have already said there has been a drastic reduction in donors now because alot of men want to be just that - anonymous.
People donate their sperm for their own reasons as well as to help a childless person/couple so you cannot blame them for not wanting to become parents in the moral sense.
If I was a man, there is no way I would be a sperm donor - with the new laws, that isnt saying a child isnt important but it does open up a whole new can of worms.
So with a reduction in donors coming forward, then it will be the childless couples losing out in the long run.
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering the children already in existence who are suffering, but also the personal responsibility attached to creating another life.
Dec 5th 2007, 10:42 am
#19
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 44
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Hi, yes, some good points to debate there
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering the children already in existence who are suffering, but also the personal responsibility attached to creating another life.
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering the children already in existence who are suffering, but also the personal responsibility attached to creating another life.
Has anyone considered the good scenerio that the couple delivering the baby may bring the child up in a happy home so that this is not an unhappy issue.
It seems that people now want it all a sperm donor and a CASH COW for life, for christ sake give one or the other up I say. !!
Dec 5th 2007, 10:55 am
#20
has lost The Game
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Chippendale, Sydney
Posts: 8,735
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Hi, yes, some good points to debate there
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering the children already in existence who are suffering, but also the personal responsibility attached to creating another life.
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering the children already in existence who are suffering, but also the personal responsibility attached to creating another life.
I'm absolutely with you. Having children is a social privilege, not a right.
S
Dec 5th 2007, 12:35 pm
#21
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 196
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Ah yes....BUT (cat amongst the pigeons time )
Surely if you take the decision to create another human life, then there is a moral responsibility to that life? Surely just trying to find a "legal" way out of it is demeaning the importance of the life you have created?
It maybe just me - but I've got no sympathy for the bloke - a child is important & needs to know where it came from. It's not about the money, it's about doing what's right.
)Surely if you take the decision to create another human life, then there is a moral responsibility to that life? Surely just trying to find a "legal" way out of it is demeaning the importance of the life you have created?
It maybe just me - but I've got no sympathy for the bloke - a child is important & needs to know where it came from. It's not about the money, it's about doing what's right.
Payback time now.
I would never do anyone the favour of "supplying them with a child".
Maggie
Dec 5th 2007, 12:51 pm
#22
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 196
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Hi, yes, some good points to debate there
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering that the children that they may have helped create may seek them out for whatever reason in the future.
Of course, I can only speak from my own experiences, not having had to suffer infertility, I can well imagine the desperation some couples feel if they want to have a child, yet are unable.
I still think it comes back to personal responsibility & a moral call though. It's all very well wanting to help another couple, but at the end of the day this is a child we're talking about, that grows us with all sorts of emotions & questions about it's origins. And that child, that did not ask to be created, has the right to know about both of it's natural parents. Any person donating either sperm or eggs should think about this - there will be another piece of you, wandering the earth & that you have a responsibility for.
I think we're living in a society now, that thanks to medical advances & a "must-have" mentality, thinks more about having it's individual needs met, than thinking about the good of future generations. The legions of fertility clinics that profit from the perceived misery of the childless are as much to blame as anyone else, if I was looking to apportion blame, which I'm not.
In the past, childless couples had few options available to them - either adopt or acceptance. I personally feel it's a shame that thousands of children suffer horrendous abuse every year in this country at the hands of mothers & fathers who were too immature, drunk, or playing the housing system to realise the precious gift that a child is. Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing, I just find it an interesting topic, having had children myself, but also having close relatives who have adopted, been childless & been egg donors.
I disagree entirely that a person has the right to enjoy some kind of altruistic satisfaction of "helping another person out", without considering that the children that they may have helped create may seek them out for whatever reason in the future.
It was very easy for me to have three children. I know, from friends, that some couples are not so lucky. but, I do believe that if I had not been able to concieve with my husband(s), that I would not have chosen to have anyone else's baby to bring up as my own.
I should run for cover now, before the PC brigade attack, but as in every other aspect of life, I believe that some things are for you and some are not.
I take my hat off to all who have had children through sperm or egg donorship, who have adopted, or had children by other means.
I think that many people "help" without realising the ultimate cost of their help.
I believe that there is always a price to pay for parenthood, and that this is most likely the highest price on the market.
All the very best to any of you who are out there fighting this battle from any side.
Maggie
Last edited by cresta57; Dec 5th 2007 at 1:02 pm. Reason: Sorted the quote for you :)
Dec 5th 2007, 8:06 pm
#23
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,027
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
So what about a woman egg donor? Should she have to pay child support if things go wrong in the marriage either financially or because of a break up.
Yes they should have gone through the 'proper' channels but they we all do things in life to help others without giving a very detailed thought about what we are doing, especially when those people are friends. Nothing to do with stroking egos, just helping out people at a desperate time.
If my memory serves me right the UK has now made it that a sperm donor can be contacted in the future - what is that all about. They donate for many reason but it was always anonymous - I bet they have a severe lack of donors now.
We are all so much wiser with hindsight.
Yes they should have gone through the 'proper' channels but they we all do things in life to help others without giving a very detailed thought about what we are doing, especially when those people are friends. Nothing to do with stroking egos, just helping out people at a desperate time.
If my memory serves me right the UK has now made it that a sperm donor can be contacted in the future - what is that all about. They donate for many reason but it was always anonymous - I bet they have a severe lack of donors now.
We are all so much wiser with hindsight.
Dec 5th 2007, 8:35 pm
#24
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
So what about a woman egg donor? Should she have to pay child support if things go wrong in the marriage either financially or because of a break up.
Yes they should have gone through the 'proper' channels but they we all do things in life to help others without giving a very detailed thought about what we are doing, especially when those people are friends. Nothing to do with stroking egos, just helping out people at a desperate time.
If my memory serves me right the UK has now made it that a sperm donor can be contacted in the future - what is that all about. They donate for many reason but it was always anonymous - I bet they have a severe lack of donors now.
We are all so much wiser with hindsight.
Yes they should have gone through the 'proper' channels but they we all do things in life to help others without giving a very detailed thought about what we are doing, especially when those people are friends. Nothing to do with stroking egos, just helping out people at a desperate time.
If my memory serves me right the UK has now made it that a sperm donor can be contacted in the future - what is that all about. They donate for many reason but it was always anonymous - I bet they have a severe lack of donors now.
We are all so much wiser with hindsight.
I predict such a shortage in sperm donors and ultimately childless couples will remain just that - childless. Adoption is not easy at all, and not always an option either.
Dec 5th 2007, 10:16 pm
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: WA but NOT Perth!!!!!
Posts: 3,318
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
But what about sperm donors, children fathered by sperm donors can now have the right to find out about their father and where will the financial implications of this end?
Sperm donors liked to remain anonymous and not have a kid turning up later and possibly having a claim on finances/wills/estate.
Clinics have already said there has been a drastic reduction in donors now because alot of men want to be just that - anonymous.
People donate their sperm for their own reasons as well as to help a childless person/couple so you cannot blame them for not wanting to become parents in the moral sense.
If I was a man, there is no way I would be a sperm donor - with the new laws, that isnt saying a child isnt important but it does open up a whole new can of worms.
So with a reduction in donors coming forward, then it will be the childless couples losing out in the long run.
Sperm donors liked to remain anonymous and not have a kid turning up later and possibly having a claim on finances/wills/estate.
Clinics have already said there has been a drastic reduction in donors now because alot of men want to be just that - anonymous.
People donate their sperm for their own reasons as well as to help a childless person/couple so you cannot blame them for not wanting to become parents in the moral sense.
If I was a man, there is no way I would be a sperm donor - with the new laws, that isnt saying a child isnt important but it does open up a whole new can of worms.
So with a reduction in donors coming forward, then it will be the childless couples losing out in the long run.
Donors should have the right to remain anonymous, not just for financial reasons but honestly would you want 20 kids turning up on your door one day calling you "dad"?
I wonder, does the same apply for egg donation?
I find it very sad that someone is done a favour and then has it thrown back in their face like in this story, OK, maybe he was a bit naive to not have any legal thing to ensure it didnt happen but even so, they obviously were desperate for a child and he helped them out. Selfish to the extreme...
Dec 5th 2007, 10:21 pm
#26
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Joined: Aug 2006
Location: WA but NOT Perth!!!!!
Posts: 3,318
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Our society doesn't accept that it is probably better for childless couples to offer a loving & supportive home to those kids, so that they grow to benefit society & not inevitably add to the breakdown in it - that same breakdown that makes people like you & I, want to take our families away from the country altogether.
Like Maggie, I was lucky enough to fall pregnant very quickly and before we even started trying we'd made the decision that if it didnt happen naturally then that was the way it was meant to be.
BUT for some people having kids is their whole world, and if options exist in the modern world why shouldnt they have a chance to be parents?
Dec 5th 2007, 10:37 pm
#27
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
It's not any better here, and the aborigines are still wanting to hear the word "sorry" from the PM for past generations doing just that - taking kids away from their families apparently for their own good.
Like Maggie, I was lucky enough to fall pregnant very quickly and before we even started trying we'd made the decision that if it didnt happen naturally then that was the way it was meant to be.
BUT for some people having kids is their whole world, and if options exist in the modern world why shouldnt they have a chance to be parents?
Like Maggie, I was lucky enough to fall pregnant very quickly and before we even started trying we'd made the decision that if it didnt happen naturally then that was the way it was meant to be.
BUT for some people having kids is their whole world, and if options exist in the modern world why shouldnt they have a chance to be parents?
Dec 5th 2007, 10:41 pm
#28
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Joined: Aug 2006
Location: WA but NOT Perth!!!!!
Posts: 3,318
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Ah, thanks Sam 
Dec 5th 2007, 10:50 pm
#29
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Just look at that face!
You are going to have a ball at xmas! Start as you mean to go on and wake her up at 5am, place her in a box and let her have all the fun.
When I get to Perth, can I buy her some drums please? I have always wanted to buy a child a set of drums.
You are going to have a ball at xmas! Start as you mean to go on and wake her up at 5am, place her in a box and let her have all the fun.
When I get to Perth, can I buy her some drums please? I have always wanted to buy a child a set of drums.
Dec 5th 2007, 10:55 pm
#30
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Joined: Aug 2006
Location: WA but NOT Perth!!!!!
Posts: 3,318