Smacking children
 

I saw something on TV the other day about smacking children and I must say I felt quite uncomfortable at some of what I saw.

My Mum smacked us when we were little and at times I was of the opinion that 'nothing wrong with a smack' kind of thing.

But really, is it right? Is it right for one person (an adult) to smack another? Why is it OK for a 'big person to smack a little person' yet if your partner gave you a smack to put you in your place because he/she truly believed it was right, would you like it?

I know my Mum would smack us if we did something bad enough but when i saw a mother whack her boy round the head in the supermarket once, I felt quite sick, personally I have issues with public reprimands as in screaming, yelling that kind of thing, although telling a child off is one thing, whacking him round the head is another.

I know I am not a parent but it's funny how some of us that were smacked and thought 'it never did me any harm', now may feel uncomfortable watching other kids get smacked.

It is only recently that my opinion has changed - must be old age:o or if I had kids, I may think differently.

But is it right to smack your child, is it violence, is it acceptable and could it have effects in later life?

:o

Re: Smacking children
 

No its never acceptable. I have 4 kids aged 19 to 7yrs, I have never smacked them. I am regularly told my kids are very well behaved.

I was smacked as a child and it doesnt work. My eldest sibling was wild, and they would just laugh in my parents face when they got hit. Had no effect what so ever on them and they just got worse.

You can discipline your kids in other ways. Smacking doesnt work in my opinion.

Gems

Re: Smacking children
 

My sisters husband used to smack her 'to punish her and put her in her place'

:eek:

Re: Smacking children
 

I quite agree. Choke-chain or shock collar are much more effective

Re: Smacking children
 

<snort>
:lol:

Re: Smacking children
 

Smacked mine when they were small, back of the leg, back of the hand. Only in certain circumstances though and it worked.

Re: Smacking children
 

I watched Super Nanny and there was one episode where this child was hitting the mother - quite hard as well and he headbutted her, now that must have been hard to take.

Re: Smacking children
 

No. :thumbdown:

I hate seeing a parent smacking outside, a slap on the hand/back of legs/bum obviously is different, but to see a child being attacked by a violent parent is abuse and I always have a strong urge to treat the parent in the same way and ask them how they feel about that. :frown:

Re: Smacking children
 

Smack me SC - I have been soooo naughty again.

I will pay extra.... :D

Re: Smacking children
 

I have a 3 year old son who doesn't half know how to throw his weight around and throw tantrums but very rarely if ever does he get a smack, never would he be smacked across the head that's just not fair! I was smacked growing up and at the time i didn't agree because i frickin' hurt but now thinking about it it never did me any harm infact it put me in my place when i tried doing wrong, just as it does my son now. However, there are alot more ways of dealing with things before smacking i.e. talking to the child on their level, keeping calm etc. And i'm sure we all prefer to do this :)

Re: Smacking children
 

Very hard this- I smacked my daughter once, as a three year old but that was a very last resort and it was more a smack to stop her putting her hand into something that might have hurt her worse. Usually I'd count to 3, but rarely got past two. She knew I'd follow through, although I felt really guilty at having lost control.

Smacking round the head is wrong, as is using any kind of implement. So is shaking and dragging by the arm.

Re: Smacking children
 

I had a school teacher who would throw blackboard rubbers at the heads of children that were naughty in class. It hit one boy called Gregory on the head and bruised him.

Can you imagine that now?:eek:

Re: Smacking children
 

A good hard smack works wonders. Just look around at the kids of today and you can see what happens when you go all softy on them.

The worst thing is not to smack - and then eventually lose it completely and really tear into them - that doesn't help at all.

Re: Smacking children
 

Ooh so did I, there was often a blackboard rubber flying around our class room and we also had a teacher that pulled girls hair and this was in primary school, funny to think that nobody thought anything of it... just the way it was :eek:

Re: Smacking children
 

Our PE teacher (one of them) would put her hands under the our towels to see if we had been in the shower.

If I were at school now, no way on gods earth would I use communal changing rooms or showers - it would absolutely not happen. I wonder how many teachers do the job because it gives them a chance to perv.

This particular teacher would touch in personal places to see if the girls had been in the shower. Filthy bitch.

Re: Smacking children
 

I got the belt and the slipper from about the age of 6 or 7, it never worked, not once when I was about to do something I wasn't supposed to did I stop and think uh oh I better not in case I get caught.

Withholding stuff over a few days is a much better punishment.

Re: Smacking children
 

Surely there is no rule for this. As surely different children react differently to different punishment. It's all very well someone saying "I never smacked mine and it works fine" and good for them. This doesn't mean that if they tried it with different children it would gain the same response. Each parent has to do what is needed to bring their children up in the correct way. Some children are a lot easier to handle than others.

Re: Smacking children
 

:thumbup: agreed. Works a treat with my kids. :D

Re: Smacking children
 

My Mum used to give me a slap on the wrist or back of the legs if I was about to do something stupid, when you are about to stick your hand in the fire there isn't time to explain why you shouldn't put your hand in the fire!

She said that I didn't respond to slaps as a telling off, I would stand there defiantly but if they shouted at me I would be reduced to tears, still works even now! :lol:

Other tactics employed by my Dad for discipline was to threaten to not let me watch Top of The Pops, now that really worked!

I haven't got kids so don't have to worry about all that but I suspect they'd be pretty deaf from OH shouting at them every time they didn't something wrong. He's not very tolerant so probably best we never had any!

The cats, well, telling them off falls on deaf ears, water pistols work (try that on your kids?) and remarkably hissing at them as well.

Re: Smacking children
 

Absolutely. It also depends on the 'crime' A slap on the hand after a child insists on repeatedly trying to touch a hot oven works. A slap on the hand after the child has thumped its sibling doesn't. As for the slap around the head, that's not 'smacking children' that's brutality pure and simple.

Re: Smacking children
 

Imho I believe its assault and should be punished by law i am disgusted by the acceptance of assaulting a child never mind how gentle one does such a thing :(

Re: Smacking children
 

Works with the boy, NOT with the lass:frown:

I always follow through with threats, so they know if I say they won't get xyz or go to a party, they won't. The boy was stopped from going to one party. Not had to do it since. The lass? Sigh.... She has not gone on more than one occasion:nod:

Two kids both brought up in the same way, but who react completely differently

Re: Smacking children
 

I was never smacked, not ever, and I turned out just fine - never been in any trouble and pretty much done what I was told. :)

My Dad's authoritative voice was always enough. My hubby is the same, one raised voice from him and the kids know.

Re: Smacking children
 

We had the same teacher! He also threw chalk. And slammed the meter stick down on the desk to get everyone's attention. By the end of the year, it was in about five pieces.

We also had corporal punishment in the principal's office. The dreaded strap. This was Canada in the 1970s/80s.

That's when I have used it without second thought. Once when she was about to put her hand on the burner on the stove. Once again when she got away from me and ran into traffic while I was holding her baby brother. She could have easily been hit by an oncoming car. I wanted her to remember that she never does that again. And later we talked about it, as much as you can discuss it with a 3 year-old.

Both hubby and I were smacked by our respective families. I don't see it as psychologically scarring us for life. My mother's sharp critical tongue was a lot worse, IMO, than anytime she used physical punishment. I encountered the occasional smack with the wooden spoon enough to know that I didn't want it again, so in that sense it served as a useful deterrent in my case. But it obviously stopped being used once we reached a certain age and it was all grounding and removal of the niceties in life. With my own kids, I find that loss of privileges works fine. A couple of days without the Nintendo and they're begging for mercy.

Re: Smacking children
 

My memories of being smacked as a child are very negative. I still resent it now!

I have never smacked mine. I encourage good behaviour with rewards and praise, and if they are naughty they get sanctions - loss of privileges etc.

I wouldn't smack a work colleague if they messed up, why would I smack a child?

For people who say that we're too soft on kids now: it's not kids who receive positive discipline that end up going completely off the rails. It tends to be either kids who get no discipline, inconsistent discipline or kids that get belted by their parents.
Violence breeds violence.

I have been known to lose my temper and shout though :D

Re: Smacking children
 

Christ only knows what I did wrong then :(

Re: Smacking children
 

A PE teacher at my school was checking we were wearing correct uniform in particular those ugly gym knickers that were wore under gym skirts.

I told her I didn't have mine on, so she asked to look to check I didn't have them on I had to repeat I wasn't wearing them under my skirt and no way was she going to be checking about four times before she threatened to send me to the head, I agreed to go to the head, she soon changed her mind about her desire to look up my skirt!!

And no I never smack my son apart from maybe a tap on the hand when he was a toddler and he's far better behaved than kids who i know have been smacked

Re: Smacking children
 

I think you're trolling but I'll play along anyway.

I also think you are confused by the diffence between abuse and disaplian! :sneaky:

Re: Smacking children
 

You did nothing wrong C. I was really talking about kids that end up in jail because they are violent themselves or who engage in major anti social behaviour.

I'm not talking about teenage rebellion. I was a nightmare teen - smoking drinking, mixing with the bad boys, etc and I turned out ok in the end.


Have faith xx

Re: Smacking children
 

My maths teacher used to do that. Unfortunately for me the boy it was usually aimed at sat right behind me! It used to whistle past my right ear almost every lesson until one day Oliver had obviously had enough. We turned round to see see him jumping out of the window.... we were on the first floor!
It started a craze for the boys jumping out of windows and off the roof :eek:

Re: Smacking children
 

I think all maths teachers did it- mine had an excellent aim, and like CEM it was always at the person behind me, as I sat at the front. Certainly made the boys stop larking about. (And he did the metre stick thing.)

Re: Smacking children
 

You are so, so right :thumbup:

Re: Smacking children
 

There are a few parents I would not mine smacking;)

Re: Smacking children
 

OMG. We had one female PE teacher who would lean against the wall and watch us in the shower and I thought that was disgusting....

Re: Smacking children
 

I did once. My then six year old son just could not be gotten through to. I wasn't angry just at a loss. It was very ritualised and bothered me more than him. However it seemed to have the desired affect. As I said it was the first and only time. He has turned out to be possibly the least violent man I know, never in a bit of trouble.

Re: Smacking children
 

Not a thread on how to then?

Sorry, was looking for some advice.... Can't find a milk crate to stand on to reach mine... And they run so much faster than me....

I'll jog on ... Again

Re: Smacking children
 

Well... if you were talking to me... How to, sit down, bend child over knee, spank lightly, hope for positive results.:fingerscrossed:

Re: Smacking children
 

Ewwww...


I've Slapped a hand reaching for hot oven, and slapped some legs that had nearly run out in front of a car..... Reaction type of thing..... Saved it for danger..

Cant imagine doing anything so calculated....

Re: Smacking children
 

Believe me it sounds far worse than it was. No tears or daddy what have you done. Really I felt far worse than him. One time only. The affect did seem to be positive, and lasting. Not smart just lucky.

Re: Smacking children
 

Must have worked then:D

Honestly... I never said never, but tried really hard not to..... Now its too late... All bigger, smarter and faster than me....:thumbdown: