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-   -   Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS) (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/sexual-lubricants-what-not-use-adults-483314/)

asher Sep 25th 2007 9:23 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
and the moral of this story is always check the ingredients:rofl:

either that or keep only the proper lubricant on your bedside table :lol:

Vanessa Sep 25th 2007 9:23 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by biggy (Post 5351157)
with a salty aftertaste hehe


Wish it did taste like salt as I love oysters - I think it is more like bad eggs (or my ex's was, hence I have never 'eaten' it since ;))

Sally Simpson Sep 25th 2007 9:24 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Vanessa (Post 5351709)
Wish it did taste like salt as I love oysters - I think it is more like bad eggs (or my ex's was, hence I have never 'eaten' it since ;))

Really more than we want to know:eek::p:D

Vanessa Sep 25th 2007 9:25 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5351715)
Really more than we want to know:eek::p:D

That's why I said it was my ex! :)

asher Sep 25th 2007 9:27 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Vanessa (Post 5351709)
Wish it did taste like salt as I love oysters - I think it is more like bad eggs (or my ex's was, hence I have never 'eaten' it since ;))

apparently according to my mate it all depends on their diet!!

will have to ask her about this again but she has a diet for him that improves the taste :eek:

rabsody Sep 25th 2007 9:28 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Vanessa (Post 5351709)
Wish it did taste like salt as I love oysters - I think it is more like bad eggs (or my ex's was, hence I have never 'eaten' it since ;))

give me 'spit' over 'swallow' anyday :eek:

Sally Simpson Sep 25th 2007 9:28 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by asher (Post 5351724)
apparently according to my mate it all depends on their diet!!

will have to ask her about this again but she has a diet for him that improves the taste :eek:

:eek:
Ok, if you can get it to taste like chocolate I might just be interested:p:rofl:

nickyjohnt Sep 25th 2007 9:38 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5351733)
:eek:
Ok, if you can get it to taste like chocolate I might just be interested:p:rofl:


Cool ! a chocolate fountain :thumbsup:

Nicky

black cat Sep 25th 2007 9:39 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5351733)
:eek:
Ok, if you can get it to taste like chocolate I might just be interested:p:rofl:

chocolate ice magic!!!:eek:

billywetpants Sep 25th 2007 10:19 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5351733)
:eek:
Ok, if you can get it to taste like chocolate I might just be interested:p:rofl:

Would looking like runny chocolate be good enough.

Sheff_Sparky Sep 25th 2007 10:29 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by billywetpants (Post 5351886)
Would looking like runny chocolate be good enough.

ewwwwwwwwww NO!

has to taste like chocolate as well

pomgrrl Sep 25th 2007 10:33 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Luke I Amyofath (Post 5350791)
The wife had surgery on her uteris last week so ive been a bit horny since because she's not quite up to sex just yet, so on Sunday morning as I give her a hug and quick feel of her boobs it made sense for her to smack me, tell me I wasnt getting any sex and also called me a dirty old horny bugger.

It must have been my charm........ What ever it was I got her to agree to a quickie boob sex and so off she went to get the hand cream. She gives me this little tube about twice the size of a lipstick and I rub a bit into the cleavage and go right to town.

After a while I said to the wife "feels like a bit of friction going on", too horny to stop off I go again. A couple minutes go by and I cant stand it any longer. It feels like my member has been dipped in hot tar so off I run into the shower trying desperately to put the fire down below out to no avail.


No matter what I did the burning carried on. It got so bad I grabbed my swimmers and sped to the local pool for a real long soak.

So for those of you who may find themselves in a similar position, my advise is to not use The Sanctuary brand body lotion as a lubricant. It has ginger in it, and its bloody hot on those sensitive male parts.


Oh my lord. I seriously wet myself:thumbsup::rofl::o

Scott Sep 25th 2007 10:51 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by asher (Post 5351724)
apparently according to my mate it all depends on their diet!!

will have to ask her about this again but she has a diet for him that improves the taste :eek:

Sweet things are to be eaten , pineapple / honey , stuff like that .

Lettice is good , it has zinc in it & helps the man " make more "

Sally Simpson Sep 25th 2007 10:59 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5351959)
Sweet things are to be eaten , pineapple / honey , stuff like that .

Lettice is good , it has zinc in it & helps the man " make more "

Why would we wnat you to make more????:eek:
Not sure I can think about salad in quite the same way now either!:D

Scott Sep 25th 2007 11:04 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5351981)
Why would we wnat you to make more????:eek:
Not sure I can think about salad in quite the same way now either!:D

not the salad , think of the cream ;)

Scott Sep 25th 2007 11:07 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5351981)
Why would we wnat you to make more????:eek:


if you was going to a B*KK*K* you might

Sally Simpson Sep 25th 2007 11:09 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5352015)
if you was going to a B*KK*K* you might

sorry, don't get it, too sweet & innocent:angel_smile:

Clippy Sep 25th 2007 12:51 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5352015)
if you was going to a B*KK*K* you might

:confused:

itsjulie Sep 25th 2007 4:49 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5352015)
if you was going to a B*KK*K* you might

Come on Scott..........explain!

Can't believe I missed this thread. Cheered me up no end:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Scott Sep 25th 2007 4:51 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Clippies (Post 5352335)
:confused:


Originally Posted by itsjulie (Post 5353140)
Come on Scott..........explain!

Can't believe I missed this thread. Cheered me up no end:rofl::rofl::rofl:

i'll leave it there " to dangle " so to speak :rofl:

itsjulie Sep 25th 2007 4:56 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5353152)
i'll leave it there " to dangle " so to speak :rofl:

Tease ;)

Scott Sep 25th 2007 5:00 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by itsjulie (Post 5353174)
Tease ;)

:unsure:

Sally Simpson Sep 25th 2007 5:41 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5353188)
:unsure:

I think he just can't spell:p:rofl:

black cat Sep 25th 2007 5:53 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5353152)
i'll leave it there " to dangle " so to speak :rofl:

So it's not hard then?:rofl:

Scott Sep 25th 2007 5:57 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 5353343)
I think he just can't spell:p:rofl:

spellings fine , don't shoot from the hip , thats all .


Originally Posted by black cat (Post 5353370)
So it's not hard then?:rofl:


reeled you in there didn't i :D

black cat Sep 25th 2007 5:59 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by scott&rachel (Post 5353387)
spellings fine , don't shoot from the hip , thats all .




reeled you in there didn't i :D

yep, swallowed that one!!::rofl:

Scott Sep 25th 2007 6:01 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by black cat (Post 5353396)
yep, swallowed that one!!::rofl:

bit off more than you can chew i reckon

annkc Sep 25th 2007 6:07 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
LOL:rofl::rofl::rofl:

annkc Sep 25th 2007 6:08 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
LOL:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sally Simpson Sep 25th 2007 6:32 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by black cat (Post 5353396)
yep, swallowed that one!!::rofl:

Let's not get onto that again!;)

biggy Sep 25th 2007 10:56 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Hutch (Post 5351635)

bloody hell thats a big tub lol

biggy Sep 25th 2007 10:57 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by asher (Post 5351724)
apparently according to my mate it all depends on their diet!!

will have to ask her about this again but she has a diet for him that improves the taste :eek:

i need to make hubby eat more chocolate then lol

asher Sep 25th 2007 11:03 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by biggy (Post 5354682)
i need to make hubby eat more chocolate then lol

could be :lol:

mates on holiday so will ask her when she gets back

yvsie Sep 25th 2007 11:43 pm

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by asher (Post 5354694)
could be :lol:

mates on holiday so will ask her when she gets back

this thread is soooooooo funny...
nearly choked on me weetbix! :)

themerlin Sep 26th 2007 1:04 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
Could have been worse, she could have grabbed super glue.
Explain that one at the hospital ;)


Originally Posted by Luke I Amyofath (Post 5350791)
So for those of you who may find themselves in a similar position, my advise is to not use The Sanctuary brand body lotion as a lubricant. It has ginger in it, and its bloody hot on those sensitive male parts.



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