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Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Old Sep 25th 2007, 2:55 am
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Default Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

The wife had surgery on her uteris last week so ive been a bit horny since because she's not quite up to sex just yet, so on Sunday morning as I give her a hug and quick feel of her boobs it made sense for her to smack me, tell me I wasnt getting any sex and also called me a dirty old horny bugger.

It must have been my charm........ What ever it was I got her to agree to a quickie boob sex and so off she went to get the hand cream. She gives me this little tube about twice the size of a lipstick and I rub a bit into the cleavage and go right to town.

After a while I said to the wife "feels like a bit of friction going on", too horny to stop off I go again. A couple minutes go by and I cant stand it any longer. It feels like my member has been dipped in hot tar so off I run into the shower trying desperately to put the fire down below out to no avail.

No matter what I did the burning carried on. It got so bad I grabbed my swimmers and sped to the local pool for a real long soak.

So for those of you who may find themselves in a similar position, my advise is to not use The Sanctuary brand body lotion as a lubricant. It has ginger in it, and its bloody hot on those sensitive male parts.
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 2:58 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

PMSL that is the funniest thing I've read in ages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 2:58 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

I will make a note of it...
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:00 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Poor bastard. Made me laugh though I'm afraid.

Hat off for getting to the position of being able to use said lubricant though!
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:03 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by Centurion View Post
Poor bastard. Made me laugh though I'm afraid.

Hat off for getting to the position of being able to use said lubricant though!
Well she did have a choice, if you know what I mean
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:24 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by Luke I Amyofath View Post

So for those of you who may find themselves in a similar position, my advise is to not use The Sanctuary brand body lotion as a lubricant. It has ginger in it, and its bloody hot on those sensitive male parts.
it could have been worse - she could have grabbed a tube of Deep Heat

or Veet - it would have then been hot and bald!

Last edited by Vanessa; Sep 25th 2007 at 3:26 am. Reason: To add something else
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:26 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by Vanessa View Post
it could have been worse - she could have grabbed a tube of Deep Heat
Maybe she mixed some of that in
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:31 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

ROTFL
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:42 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Tooooooooooo much information
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:44 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

That is so funny !! should of gone straight to the freezer and stuck it in a

tub of ice cream


Nicky
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 3:48 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt View Post
That is so funny !! should of gone straight to the freezer and stuck it in a

tub of ice cream


Nicky
eww, no ice cream dessert for me tonight thank you
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 4:06 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by gedge View Post
eww, no ice cream dessert for me tonight thank you

I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob !
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 4:15 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt View Post
I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob !
Funny as F
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 4:15 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt View Post
I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob !
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Old Sep 25th 2007, 4:27 am
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Default Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt View Post
I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob !
would you like curly pu... i mean sprinkles on that?
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