This has been discussed a few times.

My team leader laughed today that he has replied to the question, "Crap" etc just to get a rise especially when the response is something like "That's good to hear". There you go...

Everyone thought it was funny, but all agreed that the question is just a convention and not supposed to be taken too seriously, in the same way basic manners is often just that too.

I told them that Brit expats (admittedly the unsettled ones) deliberately try to bait with a similar line and they thought it was pretty pointless.

I remember my sister sending me an email while we were still in Canada and her opening line was the standard Aussie "How ya going?" I sent her back a reply of "Air New Zealand".

lol

Reminiscent of the Cary Grant telegram. The actor received an email from a reporter that said "HOW OLD CARY GRANT?" Grant wired back "OLD CARY GRANT FINE. HOW YOU?"

Easy mate - an uncle might have died - and asking 'how are you?' is pretty insensitive at such times.

What ARE you meant to say to it? I've tried a few replies and all I get is weird looks... *good ta*, *alright* and others don't seem to sit right with the ozzies...

Easy. Just reply with 'Hya'. They either think you're saying 'How are you' or they think you're saying 'Hya'. Do it with a smile and they're happy. I also tend to say 'good thanks, you?' which goes down just as well.

I always try to reply 'absolutely fantasic thank you'
you don't half get some strange looks back!

I've been trying to stop myself saying 'hi ya' to ozzies, cos they invariably reply 'Good thanks'

It must be because I put a bit of an 'R' sound in there with my Irish accent and it becomes 'how are ya'?!

As for my folks asking me hows it going. I always reply, fine. And then let them ramble on for 30 minutes until I get a chance to get my news in. Even when its huge news like the wifes pregnant or I've got a job or something.

Don't know, its just the way we are, I let them get their news out first so they can focus on mine,

JTL

LOL I get that too, I've always greeted people with Hiya, makes me smile when they say good thanks.. still like MP says it does the trick.

the kids who bring the newspapers always go off giggling when I say 'thanks luv' to them and if Col answers the door they love it cos he calls them duck!

one of my friends here always greets me with Hello Possom... no conection to this site.. its just what she says, it always makes me laugh.

ahh its all good

Try 'running low,you got any weed'

The answer "Good thanks" works for me. 'Good thanks, you?' seems to work as well.

My Hiya gets interpreted as 'Hows it going' as well. The main reason for this is that these expressions are verbal handshakes. It gets the conversation going and it gets people ears in tune with the others voice. It is the same as the UK's Hiya which is normally answered with another Hiya (although it is a shortened version of 'How are you'). It is the same as the US 'How you feeling' which is again normally answered with another 'How you feeling' rather than a genuine answer.

I've seen Brits come out with answers intended to bait and it just comes across as wanky.

I've been experimenting with 'get ****ed you ignorant descendent of whores and petty thieves'. They still say 'good thanks' in reply.

Yeah, me too, that's my standard reply - they dont know how to take it.

"Fair to middling" is my general response.

How do you cope with the Nutter on the Bus?