NELBHOY

Working the door at the Pheonix, Paddy turns to Max and says
"Prostitutes are rough in Amsterdam. When I was there they made me wash my old man in sink".
Max looks quizically at Paddy and asks," You took your dad?"
Brill!!
This was just before the drunk midgets turn up and Max squinting into the distance asks " How far away are they?"

NELBHOY

Max, when describing his true love " She were a kind of midget"
Paddy replies "Aint that a Queen song?"

tiredwithtwins

im eating a nectarine and ive just sprayed the screen with it im laughing so much!!


''t'egypt...t'egypt ... thats how they pronounce it in bolton''

Broad Shoulders

In one of his stand-up shows:

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, Thyroid problem?"

Cheetah7

I love that scene!

Cheetah7

Filthy Pig, how dare you! The pig shit scene in the campervan gets me every time.

Broad Shoulders

Max trying to sweet talk a woman in his caravan

Max: I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic. I like a girl with special needs.

Girl: Ohhh, who is she?

Cheetah7

I like the bit where Paddy goes for the interview as a porn star and all those hunky guys are there and its a gay porn film and hes dressed up as Willy Wanker and the chocolate factory. Then later in the van he couldnt drive over bumps as it hurt his arse.

spalen

willy wanker and the chocolate factory - brilliant

demi

i love it when Brian first see's the bucking bronco and his reasction is ace.
"i dont know the words to say, oh wait i know what the frig is it"

Mr Kilt

What about the sceen where they have the ann summers party and women behind the bar tries the loves eggs out, ha ha funny stuff.

Jackier

One for all us expats.....

"Booked it, packed it, f@**@d off"

Cheetah7

We have just watched Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere, where that guy at the Phoenix says 'I bit into a thin crust pizza and there it was, I saw the lords face in a pepperoni'

ukecadet

The other night at dinner an Australian friend who has never seen or heard of Phoenix nights told me that her cousin had organised a party for her friends in her local church group.
On hiring a bouncy castle for the kids discovered that she could hire an adult bouncy castle.
What a great idea a big castle for the parents to have some fun on.She didn't have a clue and was completely mortified when it was inflated/erected.
Aparently they do exist.

diddy

School dinner ladies "It's spitting!"