Cheetah7

I was watching 'That Peter Kay Thing' on DVD last night, the episode called 'The Services', and Peter Kay plays the part of a cleaner in the service station, he is cleaning the toilets and finds a big shit in one and says 'Oh my god that is disgusting, it smells like a dead alsation' or words to that effect.

The more I watch it the more funny stuff I notice about it and at 1am this morning I was still giggling at it.

Another one I like is from Phoenix Nights, where he says 'Garlic bread, it's the future Jerry'

What is your favourite Peter Kay quote?

Broad Shoulders

I LOVE that episode. I think there is a moment where the manager (Kay) comes out of the loos talking to the cleaner saying: "I don't care whose it is, It's floating!"

The moment that had me most in stitches though (and I mean I was still laughing days later) was when they were wrapping up the episode by introducing the next show by showing a snippet of the RAC guy (Len?) running after a car with his pants round his ankles shouting obscenities at a driver. I don't think I have ever laughed that hard before!

Broad Shoulders

"Hey Pottie mouth! Watch your language! There's a kids bike parked outside!"

Cheetah7

Oh god, keep posting - I have just read your post and I am laughing my head off.

When Kay is dressed up as the old woman in the Bingo Hall with her friend and they are whizzing along on their motorised scooters.

Lots of the sketches are taken from his real life experiences, especially the Manchester Arena section.

daunted

"cheesecake? cake with cheese? Not in my life time!"

Broad Shoulders

In a restaurant when he is having a romantic dinner with his new girlfriend. A hawker selling roses approaches his table...

Hawker: Rose for the lady, Sir?
Brian Potter (Kay): F#ck off!

Cheetah7

'Stop crapping and get cracking'

Broad Shoulders

Probably my all time favourite Pheonix nights dialogue:

Max and Paddy have been hired as hitmen to shoot a woman's husband. Sitting in a car, Max (Kay) pulls out the gun to show Paddy:

Paddy: Have you done us a packed lunch?
Max: Have I.
[Opens package to reveal a gun]
Paddy: What on earth is that?
Max: That my friend, is a German Broomhandle Mauser.
Paddy: I'm not using that...
Max: Why, what's wrong with it?
Paddy: It's an antique that's what it is.
Max: Hey. It's not an antique. There's nothing wrong with that. It was my granddad's. He shot a German with this.
Paddy: What? In the Second World War?
Max: No, it were in Benidorme. He had a row over a sun lounger.

Kelli28

From Phoenix nights " It's a 20ft cock and balls man "

Broad Shoulders

Sammy Snake!

Cheetah7

I like it when Brian Potter is in bed and his phone rings, Max and Paddy pretend to be the fire brigade to say Jerry had burnt down with the club, Brian yells 'I know who you are, who are ya?'

Kelli28

" The kiddies cannot go jumping up and down on a giant love length "

Kelli28

I like the one where potter gets stuck on the stair lift and when Jerry gets in the house he's says "what's that smell"

Broad Shoulders

Brian Potter: What's the matter with you, man?

Jerry St Clair: What's the matter with me? I'll tell you what's the matter with me. Me first week as licensee, I'm stood here looking like a gay Satan cos somebody sold all me clothes on t'jumble. I've been rolled round t'car park all day dressed as a hernia and I've got 12 people in casualty with rubber burns.

Brian Potter: Rubber Burns? Weren't he a Scottish poet?

Cheetah7