Monty Python Fans
 

So who is a Monty Python fan?

What are your best lines from the movies?

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Brian: "You mean he raped you Mum?"
Brian's Mum: "Well, at first...yes!"

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"Not the Watt Dabney, the inventer of the inverted firkin?"


Jaberwocky, probably not technically Monty Python but brill non the less.

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"This is the machine that goes 'ping', it's the most expencive machine in the hospital"

"We are the knights who say 'Ni'"

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Crucifiction?

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I'm Brian and so's my wife!

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Q: Are you the Judean People's Front?
A: F#$k Off! We're the People's Front Of Judea!

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, f#$k off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we f#$k off, O Lord?

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Roman: I'm warning you! If you say "Jehovah" one more time (gets hit with rock) RIGHT! Who did that? Come on, who did it?
Stoners: She did! She did! (suddenly speaking as men) He! He did! He!
Roman: Are there any women here?

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I'll have you know, my fwend Bigus Dickus w@nks vewy high in Wome

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Life of Brian fan by any chance :rofl:

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Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But you can't have babies.
Stan: Don't you oppress me.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Help! Help! I'm being repressed.

_____________________________________

The end of the "I'd like an argument sketch" cracks me up.
O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: I just paid!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: I'm afraid you did not.
M: I don't want to argue about that!
O: Well, I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing? Got you!!
O: No, you haven't!
M: Yes I have! (short pause) If you are arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily. (short pause) I *could* be arguing in my spare time.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

'I'm opening a boootique, Brian.'

'Sheep don't so much fly as plummet'.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Death awaits you with nasty sharp pointy teeth. (Holy Grail)

What i wouldn't give to be spat at in the face. Favouritism, that's what it is. (Life of Brian)

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: **** off! We're the People's Front of Judea. Judean peoples' front....splitters.

Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.
Mr Creosote: No.
Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.
Mr Creosote: No. **** off - I'm full...
Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only wafer thin.
Mr Creosote: Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just one...
Mr Creosote: Oh all right. Just one.
Maitre D: Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...
(Mr. Creosote swallows the mint, expands and then blows up dramatically, spewing vomit on everyone and showing his open rib cage and still beating heart.)
Maitre D: Thank you, sir, and now the check.
— Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition . . .

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oi!

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Oh goodie, a Python thread!

I like the one where the Ozzie introduces the pom to a room full of blokes called Bruce and when he discovers his name isn't Bruce, he says that it will be too confusing, so can he call him Bruce as well.

"My wife, Incontinentia Buttocks"

"Crucifiction or Freedom"? "Freedom". "Ooh we don't get many of those"

"No, I say 15 Cystertia, you say 11"

"Ooooh, you were lucky, we lived in a shoe box under the bed and got up before we went to bed" (Ripping Yarns I know but closeish)

"Blessed are the Cheesemakers?". "I don't think he is referring only to the producers of dairy products...."

Keep 'em coming.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.


(I'm supremely happy and proud that my kids love, adore and can probably quote all the Monty Python films and shows!

Mind you, they like On the Buses too, so perhaps there's no hope for them.)

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

I just love the political incorrectness of the The silly olympics :)

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

BRIAN: "You dont NEED to follow me, you dont NEED to follow anybody. You're all individuals"
CROWD (in unison): "Yes - we ARE all individuals!"
LONE VOICE: "errr.... I'm not"


actually come to think of it just about any line from Life of Brian is 'giggle worthy'... - time to crack out the DVD and give myself a laugh again!

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

He's not pinin'! He's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?

The Princess Margaret sketch broke new ground :D

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

Spare a shekel for an ex leper.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Blessed are the Cheesemakers :) (had to like that one didn't I!) though I think "Blessed are the Meek" is probably more me!

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

-- Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

:thumbsup: Thanks for that, it still makes me chuckle (it must have taken you ages). I haven't watched the Holy Grail for yonks, but this thread has put me in the mood to dig out the video and watch it again.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Bring out your dead'

Bring out your dead


Bring out your dead

I can't take 'im - he's not dead...

Well can you 'ang around a bit - he won't be long'....

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"I'm Brian and so is my wife..."

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Blessed be the juniper bushes.
Life of Brian:thumbup:

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

I watch Life of Brian religiously every christmas

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Wow, did you realise that there were two implicit puns in that statement?

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Yep, could have squeezed in three if I'd have mentioned Easter!:eek:

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

Why not throw in some holy water as well! :D

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I just loved all the animated stuff by Terry Gilliam, genius :thumbsup:

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Not me, a waste of good plonk, :rofl:

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

:D

Monty Python - Almost Everything DVD Box Set (16 Disc) - £26.49 delivered @ Sendit
 

For all ye Bargain Hunters out there with DVD Region 2 playback capabilities. What a cracking cracking price.. just ordered! Price includes delivery to Oz.

You might be able to save 10% by adding the discount code UCARE10.


Buy it @ Sendit

Bit cheaper at BlahDVD but BlahDVD wanted a fiver for shipping!

Contains all this:

Quote:
Monty Python's Flying Circus Complete Series 1:

1. Whither Canada?
2. Sex and Violence
3. How to Recognise Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away
4. Owl-Stretching Time
5. Man's Crisis of Identity in the Latter Half of the 20th Century
6. The BBC Entry for the Zinc Stoat of Budapest
7. You're No Fun Anymore
8. Full Frontal Nudity
9. The Ant, an Introduction
10. Untitled
11. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom
12. The Naked Ant
13. Intermission

Monty Python's Flying Circus Complete Series 2:

1. Dinsdale!
2. The Spanish Inquisition
3. Deja Vu
4. The Buzz Aldrin Show
5. Live from the Grill-o-Mat
6. It's a Living
7. The Attila the Hun Show
8. Archaeology Today
9. How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body
10. Scott of the Antarctic
11. How Not to Be Seen
12. Spam
13. Royal Episode 13

Monty Python's Flying Circus Complete Series 3:

1. Njorl's Saga
2. Mr. and Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular
3. The Money Programme
4. Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror
5. The All-England Summarise Proust Competition
6. The War Against Pornography
7. Salad Days
8. The Cycling Tour
9. The Nude Man
10. E. Henry Thripshaw's Disease
11. Dennis Moore
12. A Book at Bedtime
13. The British Showbiz Awards

Monty Python's Flying Circus Complete Series 4:

1. The Golden Age of Ballooning
2. Michael Ellis
3. The Light Entertainment War
4. Hamlet
5. Mr. Neutron
6. Party Political Broadcast

And Now For Something Completely Different (1971): England was such a proper place - until the day the Python arrived. Monty Python, that is, a Flying Circus that slithered up the funnybone of an entire nation and gave it fits of laughter. Here's Monty Python's first feature film - a hilarious collection of their very best twits, skits and bits from their popular TV series.

The Holy Grail (1974): Yoiks! Here be the Python's tale of good King Arthur (Graham Chapman) and his knights as they quest for the Holy Grail. Watch as they face great odds and silly sods. See them wage battle against the fierce Killer Rabbit ("Run Away! Run Away!"), and, (oh, horrors!) see them confront the dreaded Knights Who Say "Ni!".

The Life Of Brian (1979): You could say this is one of the greatest comedies ever, but the Monty Python team said it first! Life of Brian is all about (and here's the big surprise) the life of Brian, who was born in a Bethlehem manger next door to Jesus. Three wise men believe he is the messiah, but it becomes apparent that he is only Brian.

Live At The Hollywood Bowl (1982): Live, lewd and unleashed for the first time, the Pythons take on the legendary Hollywood Bowl in a sell out show that serves up some of their best known songs and sketches in addition to brand new material that never appeared in the Flying Circus TV series.

The Meaning Of Life (1983): Those six pandemonium-mad Pythons are back with their craziest adventure ever! These naughty lads offer the usual tasteful sketches involving favorite bodily parts and functions, the wonders of war, the miracle of birth and a special preview of what's waiting for us in Heaven.

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

My Favourite conversation, hilarious :rofl: :rofl: :thumbsup:

Re: Monty Python Fans
 

4 sketches are my favourites;

1. the sex education scene in meaning of life ...
2. the birth scene with the most expensive machine in the hospital (I cracked that joke once at work and no one knew what i was on about)
3. the scene in life of brian when they burst into the room to rescue him from the women who are about to seduce him, and he doesnt want rescuing :D
4. the townswomens guild re-enactment of the battle of pearl harbour ... i honestly pee myself laughing at that one (terry jones just looks so right in tights, hairnet and handbag) :lol:

monty python is so funny, but my other half just doesnt get it ...