Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
Aug 20th 2008, 1:48 pm
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 587
Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card,
the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your
family
from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position
and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly,
'There is no toilet paper in here.'
boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card,
the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your
family
from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position
and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly,
'There is no toilet paper in here.'
Aug 20th 2008, 1:58 pm
#2
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
love it 
Aug 20th 2008, 2:22 pm
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 3,162
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
If only I could believe that was genuine. 
Aug 20th 2008, 2:29 pm
#4
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
May be fake, but I wouldn't mind trying some of them out...
Aug 20th 2008, 2:43 pm
#5
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 587
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
FYI - I didn't think it was genuine just funny!
no 7. Is very relevent to Oz - I felt like saying that many a time!
no 7. Is very relevent to Oz - I felt like saying that many a time!
Aug 20th 2008, 2:57 pm
#6
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,514
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.
picked his nose, and ate it.
Aug 20th 2008, 3:22 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Little Mountain, Sunshine coast
Posts: 1,327
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card,
the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your
family
from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position
and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly,
'There is no toilet paper in here.'
boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card,
the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your
family
from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position
and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly,
'There is no toilet paper in here.'
especially liked no 1!
Aug 20th 2008, 3:43 pm
#8
In Perth & Loving it...
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 539
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
loved it.....cheers
Aug 20th 2008, 5:08 pm
#9
Former Resident Visa
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Mornington Peninsula
Posts: 2,887
Re: Made me Laugh - HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
I used to work in Tesco. If only someone had done this in ours it might have brightened up our very dull days.....
J x
J x
