Leaving a "child" behind!
Apr 8th 2009 | 11:57 pm
#16
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 257
Re: Leaving a "child" behind!
Hi, we left our Son in 1999 to finish his degree at Warwick University. He had one more year to do & then wanted some work experience before joining us. We were so excited about moving to Brisbane. As the years passed his visa was running out & showed no signs of joining us. He then met a girl, they lived together & married last year. They are now expecting their first baby.
I miss him so much & always regret leaving him. Australia, especially Brisbane, is all I wanted it to be. However, all that is insignificant when your Son is so far away. I miss him every day & now the thought of hardly ever seeing my Grand Child is unbearable.
We have another Son who loves it here & is also married to a lovely girl. Their daughter had her first birthday last month. We see them often which is great. But the more I see them the more I miis our UK Son.
If I could turn back the clock 10 years I would hope that I wouldn't make the same mistake. England is a long way from here & when working it is hard to get as much annual leave as I want to visit as often as I want. We are now thinking about early retirement but even then our Son has a very small house & it would therefore be expensive staying there for a great length of time.
I try not to show my feelings to work colleagues as they probably wouldn't understand. If only they knew.
So my advice to anyone is think very seriously before making the move.
Thanks for listening, I am glad I have found this site.
Gill
I miss him so much & always regret leaving him. Australia, especially Brisbane, is all I wanted it to be. However, all that is insignificant when your Son is so far away. I miss him every day & now the thought of hardly ever seeing my Grand Child is unbearable.
We have another Son who loves it here & is also married to a lovely girl. Their daughter had her first birthday last month. We see them often which is great. But the more I see them the more I miis our UK Son.
If I could turn back the clock 10 years I would hope that I wouldn't make the same mistake. England is a long way from here & when working it is hard to get as much annual leave as I want to visit as often as I want. We are now thinking about early retirement but even then our Son has a very small house & it would therefore be expensive staying there for a great length of time.
I try not to show my feelings to work colleagues as they probably wouldn't understand. If only they knew.
So my advice to anyone is think very seriously before making the move.
Thanks for listening, I am glad I have found this site.
Gill
I really really feel for you !
But as someone said, you just never know which way life will turn...we live in such a globalized world that even if you had stayed in the UK your son (s)
may have moved to another country.
I have lived away from my native country ( Germany) for the last 25 years and only go over about once a year for a few days. My parents never expressed how they felt about me leaving Germany, but being a mother now I would find not seeing my children ' whenever' very hard.
But at least you know your son is settled, has his own family and lives his life. He is a ' grown up' and that counts for something. It would be worse if you felt he needed you and you weren't there for him. Unfortunately children do grow up and away, and its had to admit that when they are grown up they need us less than we need them.
While there may be a big hole in your heart just think that you have done a good job with him and you taught him to be independent .
Mrs Ozbaz
Apr 11th 2009 | 8:44 am
#17
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 7
Re: Leaving a "child" behind!
Hi. My husband, me and 16 year old daughter are at the beginning of the visa process. Husband is 45 in September , so I am getting stressed about the whole thing! Anyway, we left it so late as we wanted to wait till our son had finished his advanced highers and got into the Uni of his choice. He starts in September and is behind us emigrating and "leaving" him. He knows how much we want to emigrate but I stil feel really cruel, like we are abandoning him. He didn't want to emigrate and study in Australia.We are applying for 475 regional family sponsored, so it could be 2-3 years till we go anyway( I wish!). Has anyone else been in our situation and how have you felt or coped? I know my son is 18 but he will always be my little boy!
I miss him so much & always regret leaving him. Australia, especially Brisbane, is all I wanted it to be. However, all that is insignificant when your Son is so far away. I miss him every day & now the thought of hardly ever seeing my Grand Child is unbearable.
We have another Son who loves it here & is also married to a lovely girl. Their daughter had her first birthday last month. We see them often which is great. But the more I see them the more I miis our UK Son.
If I could turn back the clock 10 years I would hope that I wouldn't make the same mistake. England is a long way from here & when working it is hard to get as much annual leave as I want to visit as often as I want. We are now thinking about early retirement but even then our Son has a very small house & it would therefore be expensive staying there for a great length of time.
I try not to show my feelings to work colleagues as they probably wouldn't understand. If only they knew.
So my advice to anyone is think very seriously before making the move.
Thanks for listening, I am glad I have found this site.
Gill
