Kids and booze
 

Do any of you BE's have problems with your kids and booze (that you know of, that is)? My youngest son is 23 and thinks nothing of drinking a bottle of red wine to himself, despite my lecturing. :(

Re: Kids and booze
 

Trouble is, the more you go on, the more he will probably think "I'm 23 and invincible I can do what I like." It's a toughy. I know that even at my age (over a decade older) if my Dad were to mention it, I'd be thinking the same. However, he has a better social life than me and not a leg to stand on.

Having thought early years parenting was tough, I am realising that older years may be tougher!

Good luck and I hope someone with older kids has better advice than my wittering...........

Re: Kids and booze
 

no. so long as he's not into drugs, killing old ladies, puppies and babies he's all good.

Give him your cheap red cooking wine.

Re: Kids and booze
 

Yes, but livers don't like too much long term alcohol. And 95% of violent crime is due to alcohol not drugs etc. (apparently)..... http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/c...p/1-10/04.aspx

Re: Kids and booze
 

i spent most of my 20's with a pickled liver. I grew out of it it didn't do any long term damage. I wish kids today drank instead of taking e's and drugs. The most I had was spewing up in the road or bedroom wardrobe and coping with the mother next day soon sobered me up:unsure:

If he's only drinking weekends he's ok. If he's drinking all the time you need to worry:thumbdown:

Re: Kids and booze
 

I think the warning signs are if he can't do without it, or if he is drinking alone - then it would be worrying. We need to get away from this 'drinking is fine, drugs are not' - alcohol is a drug and in excess causes untold damage physically and mentally to oneself, along with horrendous problems in the home and on the streets. A&E on a Saturday night is a great place to see the consequences, or try dealing with the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome.

Re: Kids and booze
 

I drink alone, why is that a worry?

Re: Kids and booze
 

It is listed as one of the symptoms of becoming an alcoholic - but that doesn't mean that if you drink alone you will become one, just another pointer if there is a worry.

Re: Kids and booze
 

:sunglasses: Just reminded me of George.....

Re: Kids and booze
 

Im on my own drinking a bottle of beer right now as I type, actually its finished so I might get another one.

What are you drinking NB? :)

Re: Kids and booze
 

Nice glass of Howling Wolves White Shiraz. Husband out mowing the lawn, one daughter out with friends, the other out on her bike up and down the street. Cheers!!

Re: Kids and booze
 

23 is hardly a kid. Why are you lecturing him? Now, if he were 13 that would be different...At 23 he's a grown up. Would you have listened to your mother lecturing you at 23? I know if my mother tried lecturing me about how I lived my life at 23 I would have had to tell her to take a long walk off a short pier.

Re: Kids and booze
 

You never stop being a parent though, and caring, and worrying. Agreed, lecturing is probably going to fall on deaf ears, but when you see a loved one going down a road that you feel is dangerous, it is hard not to say something?

Re: Kids and booze
 

Spot on! :sunglasses:

Re: Kids and booze
 

I'll second that, at 23 I was married and if my parents had tried to tell me about my drinking the would have been told to keep their beaks out!

Re: Kids and booze
 

Can't say I've known many 23 year old blokes that drink red wine. Is he shouting at pigeons yet?

Shouldn't laugh I suppose but I know that nagging him won't help.

Re: Kids and booze
 

What were you doing when you were 23? I sunk a bottle of Teachers when I was 17. I thought nothing of it at the time, well until I was heaving in a ditch miles from anywhere later on of course. Seriously, we all go through it, some continue, some slow down, some stop completely because they become complete lightweights. He's 23, what you expect him to be doing?

Re: Kids and booze
 

Drinking alone is fine.But drinking alone while hiding in the wardrobe is a worry.:D

Re: Kids and booze
 

nothing wrong with drinking a bottle of red wine, alone or otherwise.

Ok, there is 7 to 9 units of alcohol in a bottle of red wine. But the last time I looked, that's no different from a 6 pack of beer.. and we all know that beer is good for us.

In summary, I would say that kids, and adults, should drink in moderation.

Re: Kids and booze
 

Right ho, you've got my attention 'shouting at pigeons'? Please explain ;)

I agree, nagging won't 'help' btw ...

Re: Kids and booze
 

Indeed, at least he isn't taking an interest in the collected works of Andrew Lloyd Webber ...

Re: Kids and booze
 

come on... who hasn't got shitfaced on red wine and then started abusing pigeons?

Re: Kids and booze
 

I have been drunk on red wine but it was all free and I didn't enjoy it.

Much ;)

Re: Kids and booze
 

One of the symptoms of Cancer is weight loss, but if you lose weight, that does not mean you have Cancer. The gist of the original remark was that drinking is not a problem, but if allied with behavioral traits, such as drinking alone, drinking repeatedly to excess etc then that could be a symptom of becoming an alcoholic. Of course there is nothing wrong with drinking alone, unless, perhaps, you become over defensive.

Funny isn't it, how it is perfectly acceptable to defend one recreational drug (alcohol), even justifying and laughing about the abuse of that drug, yet mention taking any other narcotic, no matter how small a dose, and suddenly that is very wrong. All drugs, including the simplest aspirin, when taken to excess will damage the body, or the mind, or both. Alcohol can wreck lives and families, even communities, but it is big business and we have all been brainwashed into thinking that even drinking to excess is just a giggle. It is almost cheaper to buy alcohol than water for gods sake.

As a drinker, smoker and occasional happy person, this is not preaching. We need to do whatever it takes to get through life, but please look at the level of alcohol abuse that is going on with very young people today, look at the social problems alcohol is causing. We are still not doing enough to stop young people from smoking, me included, but next time you have a drink, take a look at the bottle - can you see any health warnings? Why do you think that no other recreational drugs are freely available? Perhaps they think we will be too drunk to notice.

Re: Kids and booze
 

To the OP the answer is yes. Step son same age and been drinking heavily for a period of time. This culminated in him driving drunk last week crashing his car (thank god not hurting anyone or himself) and fleeing the scene.

Alcohol is not the "better" or "safer" drug to take.

The young man is now under the Alcohol Rehabilitation Service and has attended his first AA meeting.

It now appear that what we saw him drink was only the tip of the iceberg.

Hopefully we can now deal with his drinking and grief issues and help him find himself a way forward in life that doesn't require drink to dull his pain and he achieves a full and happy life from now in.

This young man requires all the support we can give him regardless of his age and to his father he will always be his child.

Re: Kids and booze
 

Glad to hear your step son is OK and no one was hurt:sunglasses:

Just to clarify though that what happend here was an exception. Most kids have drink, get drunk, throw up and feel crap. It's all part of growing up. Parents know when it's more than that cos they experience things like this that are out of the norm, just like you did.

Other than that drinking and getting blathered is part of growing up.

Re: Kids and booze
 

My 20 year old son drinks red wine... I worry about him


(I mostly worry about his health, because that shiraz is mine, all mine and if he keeps glugging it I won't be responsible for my actions)

Re: Kids and booze
 

I can beat that... by 23 I was divorced !!

Re: Kids and booze
 

I agree that kids getting bladdered etc is all part of growing up.

However, drinking on your own at that age and a bottle of wine is not "normal" As I have matured I will pour myself a drink but I can't remember as a young adult doing the same. They normally go out and drink with their mates or have a few drinks at home with friends before hitting the town.

I do think it is an early sign that there may be a problem

It was one of the 'signs' that I was concerned about before all this happened.

Re: Kids and booze
 

I must admit that I drank staggering amounts in my late teens, early twenties... but I really don't remember sitting down and drinking on my own.

I do now.

Re: Kids and booze
 

I agree you're right parents should be looking for all the signs but don't assume that cos someone drinks alone, they've got a problem.

BTW - my understanding from the OP is that the problem is her son is drinking a whole bottle of wine to himself, not by himself.

I do agree though that as parents we need to look out for any signs of abnormal drinking behaviour but drinking a bottle of wine every now and again whether alone or with friends is nothing to be overly concerned about, unless there are signs there's a problem.

Re: Kids and booze
 

That must be heartbreaking, seeing this young person so troubled. It sounds like he is very lucky, in having someone around like yourself who will not judge and who's only concern is to get him happy and healthy again.

Keep strong.

Re: Kids and booze
 

Thank you - it will be a long and bumpy road ahead but at least he now admits that there is a problem and that is the first stage to recovery.

Re: Kids and booze
 

I remember a love of Dry Martini in my late teens, family circumstances meant I would often down a bottle a night by myself while reading, revising, separating fighting siblings, finding off the next door neighbour who felt I was his plaything, generally dealing with a life that brought adult responsibilities far too early......
Lecturing did no good, I knew the reasons I was drinking but the people around me didn't want to know that they were the cause, they had no intention of changing even though they could see me spiralling downwards.

Not saying that the OP is the cause of her son's drinking, but rather than lecturing maybe try gently to find out why? whats his motivation? why does he feel the need/desire? Does it give him pleasure or just blot out reality?

Re: Kids and booze
 

Jeez Polly - hope you got that one sorted:eek:

you shoulda hit him with yer empty bottle:D

Re: Kids and booze
 

Its a memory that surfaces every so often for random reasons - i think I came out of it rather better than him as his wife and kids wanted to know why he came home from the Royal Wedding street party with a black eye and walking a little funny :eek:
Quite funny in a way, looking back 30 years on :D although its very sad that my parents didn't want to know - the slightest hint of trouble and the shutters came down - hence the bottle was a good friend.

Re: Kids and booze
 

I hear you mate:(

Like you and Hebe said parents need to look out for the signs and be there for their kids.

As a grown up and some years later when the dust settled, did you ever raise it with your parents and ask why they didn't support you?

Re: Kids and booze
 

I did mention it to my mum actually, a couple of years back, but there were bigger family issues around in 1981 and she just shrugged off everything that happened around that time as being "things we had to deal with as a family" - what she failed to realise was that her kids had things THEY had to deal with and that they needed support with, outside of the bigger "family" picture.
My sister was horrified - she said she'd always thought he was creepy but never realised quite how creepy :scaredhair: Fortunately she was very different from me, had lots more support around her from outsiders and never slid down the slippery slopes that I managed to find!

Looking back on my late teens does make me very aware that that there is always a reason for kids going off the rails in whatever way; there may be no solution to it, depending on what the reason is; it may even be something that the kid can only deal with by finding their own "crutch" and not confronting directly until years later, it may even be a case that the kid is the one propping up the whole family (whether any of them realise/acknowledge it or not at the time). It does also make me very tolerant of others who lean on something/someone - we all have to get through our individual lives somehow, and no-one ever really knows what life is like in someone else's shoes, no matter how much you think you know that person.

Re: Kids and booze
 

That is very true mate. This post speaks volumes about why we should listen to our kids and look out for the signs.Today I have learned a lot more about you Polly and you are stronger than me that's for sure:sunglasses:

Re: Kids and booze
 

A late reply to the shouting at pigeons comment.

Here are two ads that appeared in Viz some years ago.