It might be one of those things where you agonise over it for ages and then when it's out in the open it seems so much more 'doable' and less frightening. It might also make things clearer and more approachable (for want of a better word) for the younger two, who have probably also picked up on the atmosphere (however hard you've tried to not let them) and might have been feeling very confused & uncertain.
They are very lucky though to have a mum that is so concerned for them, and thinking of them more than herself at the moment. Not all kids are so fortunate.

I think that you're probably absolutely right and I am fretting about this so much more than is realistic.

Kids always know ... it's hard not to ...

The anticipation is always the worst thing. Yes it will be tough, and you might well have a tear or two. Don't be surprised if they don't seem to react much at the time, it will take a while for them to understand, and you will get the strangest questions come at you over the next few days. Try to answer them as honestly and fully as poss, and be ready to give them a bit of cuddle time when they need reashuring (how the hell DO you spell that?) you'll all get there.

Staff

Reassuring.

Thank you.

reassuring!! (I think!)

Well done you did it at least, best thing to do is to give them a lots of love & cuddle with the younger 2 when you are telling them, with your love they feel safe.
To us it is separation, to them its adventure, to have both parents living separately so all they get is loads love from both parents.
You are great mum, sending you load love & hugs hun, {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

OMG so huge, HUGE stress build up...

We sit down, we tell them that we're not getting on, that we've decided to carry on being great parents but in separate houses.... Youngest is melting marshmallows in his cup... not listening, I thought...
Then he says 'I want to live with Daddy' and I just said very gently, that no, he'd be living here in this house but that Daddy would have a house eventually nearby and there was the possibility that he'd have a bedroom there too....
And his eyes light up. Cool... two bedrooms!

I asked if he's hearing me cos he's messing with chocolate chip cookies..
'Of course I can hear you, I have got ears, you know!'

The middle daughter, 8 yr old, is calm... digesting things inwardly a bit... and then they all start talking about camping trip coming up at the weekend.

Are we ok? Is everyone fine? Does everyone feel ok inside? Is anyone worried or upset?

Nope. Camping on the weekend much more important... as are mini toblerones, chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate.

'See', says the eldest.. 'That wasn't so difficult after all!'

From the mouths of babes!

Well done you, sounds like it went really well. It's not the end of the road, obviously, but it's one huge hurdle that you've crossed now.
Well done!

Feel better now. Might sleep tonight.

My parents split up when i was five ,have to say it was really exciting to me ,they explained i would have two houses ,two holidays ,and two lots of Christmas and Birthday,was only five but they made it sound like such fun .
You sound like a very good Mum ,children look at things so differently to us adults .

They do don't they?!

I think the eldest was the most upset as she has a fairly mature understanding of relationships even at her age.
The other two just accepted it...

I can't believe I got that stressed about it....


Next bit is seeing my lawyer. I can't get free legal advice until February some time so I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and pay for one right now as it's urgent.
But holy hell....

Good job I got a job..

Well done Tiddly!
Sounds like you all handled it really well.
Best wishes!

I think the way your kids have handled the news you gave them i.e. without a fuss and very level headed and accepting is a testament to the parents you are.

I wish you all the very best for the future, you deserve good things to happen to you.

Take care

Shirley x

Thanks Shirley. They're great kids for sure.

Phew, dont you just love them, where about are taking them for their camping, good luck with lawyer hun. xx