Joke
Jun 20th 2007, 11:52 am
#1
da Bonehead
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Joke
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big ****ing red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big ****ing red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
Jun 20th 2007, 12:04 pm
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Re: Joke
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big ****ing red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big ****ing red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
Have you been reading Dorothy's signature?
Jun 20th 2007, 12:04 pm
#3
da Bonehead
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: Joke
BLONDE AND A RED-HEAD
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers?"
The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers?"
The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
Jun 20th 2007, 12:06 pm
#4
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Joke
sorry, not heard the second one before 
Jun 20th 2007, 12:13 pm
#6
da Bonehead
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Jun 20th 2007, 12:19 pm
#8
da Bonehead
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: Joke
Try this.......
Jun 20th 2007, 12:22 pm
#9
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Re: Joke
BLONDE AND A RED-HEAD
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers?"
The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers?"
The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
Jun 20th 2007, 12:30 pm
#10
Jun 20th 2007, 12:57 pm
#11
Jun 21st 2007, 10:26 am
#12
da Bonehead
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: Joke
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,
grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them
three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Protestant."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody."
Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,
grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them
three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Protestant."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody."
Jun 21st 2007, 10:30 am
#13
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Ballarat
Posts: 7,005
Re: Joke
BLONDE AND A RED-HEAD
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers?"
The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers?"
The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
Mandy
Jun 21st 2007, 10:33 am
#14
da Bonehead
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
