The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
Jun 20th 2007, 5:22 am
#1
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The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
Does anyone have any stories of stuff that has happened to them and you've thought "you couldn't make this stuff up"?
I'll start the ball rolling.
A few years back I worked for a government agency. It came to mine, & several other staff members' attention, that a client record had been recorded on our UK-wide database under the name "Hairy Bum".
We were all fairly confident that the person wasn't Korean or something when we noticed his address:
Number 2, Back Passage (use rear entrance), Derry, Ayr.
Anyhow, one day our team was called in for an unscheduled meeting, and judging by the faces of the managers they weren't happy about something.
As we all sat down & the door was closed behind us we could feel the tension in the small room.
Our manager Ann was the first to speak:
"It's about this Hairy Bum scenario........."
What made things worse is she was deadly serious for the entire meeting, despite the fact that our sides we nearly splitting.
I'll start the ball rolling.
A few years back I worked for a government agency. It came to mine, & several other staff members' attention, that a client record had been recorded on our UK-wide database under the name "Hairy Bum".
We were all fairly confident that the person wasn't Korean or something when we noticed his address:
Number 2, Back Passage (use rear entrance), Derry, Ayr.
Anyhow, one day our team was called in for an unscheduled meeting, and judging by the faces of the managers they weren't happy about something.
As we all sat down & the door was closed behind us we could feel the tension in the small room.
Our manager Ann was the first to speak:
"It's about this Hairy Bum scenario........."
What made things worse is she was deadly serious for the entire meeting, despite the fact that our sides we nearly splitting.
Jun 20th 2007, 5:29 am
#2
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
the day we arrived here in Australia, we decided to take the kids to Maccas for lunch, Louise likes a Junior burger (hamburger) with nothing on it, ie no onions, manky green pickles or sauce, just a plain burger in a bun, so we go up to the girl serving (who looked about 12) and asked for a junior burger with nothing on it...
nothing on it?, came the reply
yep, nothing on it, thanks - i said
when we got in the car, louise opened up her burger, to find that all they had given her was the bun !!!! :curse:
nothing on it?, came the reply
yep, nothing on it, thanks - i said
when we got in the car, louise opened up her burger, to find that all they had given her was the bun !!!! :curse:
Jun 20th 2007, 5:35 am
#3
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
the day we arrived here in Australia, we decided to take the kids to Maccas for lunch, Louise likes a Junior burger (hamburger) with nothing on it, ie no onions, manky green pickles or sauce, just a plain burger in a bun, so we go up to the girl serving (who looked about 12) and asked for a junior burger with nothing on it...
nothing on it?, came the reply
yep, nothing on it, thanks - i said
when we got in the car, louise opened up her burger, to find that all they had given her was the bun !!!! :curse:
nothing on it?, came the reply
yep, nothing on it, thanks - i said
when we got in the car, louise opened up her burger, to find that all they had given her was the bun !!!! :curse:
Might have been worse, you could have asked for it naked!
Jun 20th 2007, 5:41 am
#4
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
I saw a car the morning and the registration plate was:
GAY 069
GAY 069
Jun 20th 2007, 5:54 am
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Jun 20th 2007, 5:59 am
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
We went to the local pub, asked for 2 half cokes for the kids. The bar maid returned with 2 half pint glasses half full.
Half a coke, well thats what we always said in UK.
Half a coke, well thats what we always said in UK.
Jun 20th 2007, 6:07 am
#9
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
Camping in Oz......ranger man starts chatting.........
'best place in the world here, you can camp anywhere you want and dont need to worry about getting eaten by tigers or bears'........
thought he was having a laugh - to new arrivals, one of whom isnt keen on snakes and already seen a few...have you forogtten the amount of venomous things here
'best place in the world here, you can camp anywhere you want and dont need to worry about getting eaten by tigers or bears'........
thought he was having a laugh - to new arrivals, one of whom isnt keen on snakes and already seen a few...have you forogtten the amount of venomous things here
Jun 20th 2007, 6:30 am
#10
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
I contracted dysentry and salmonella whilst in Africa many years ago. I had to have my stools tested for many months afterwards until it cleared from my system. I rented a top floor flat in a grand Edwardian house in Bristol. All well and good, until the numb skull at the Lab decided to post my sample pots through the main letter box in a clear bag without my name on.
A week later I get a call from the lab as they had a sample pot from a Mrs BlahBlah from my address - a coincedence perhaps - no she wasn't registered - she must have just thought it was a survey of Clifton poo
A week later I get a call from the lab as they had a sample pot from a Mrs BlahBlah from my address - a coincedence perhaps - no she wasn't registered - she must have just thought it was a survey of Clifton poo
Jun 20th 2007, 6:33 am
#11
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
I contracted dysentery and salmonella whilst in Africa many years ago. I had to have my stools tested for many months afterwards until it cleared from my system. I rented a top floor flat in a grand Edwardian house in Bristol. All well and good, until the numb skull at the Lab decided to post my sample pots through the main letter box in a clear bag without my name on.
A week later I get a call from the lab as they had a sample pot from a Mrs BlahBlah from my address - a coincidence perhaps - no she wasn't registered - she must have just thought it was a survey of Clifton poo
A week later I get a call from the lab as they had a sample pot from a Mrs BlahBlah from my address - a coincidence perhaps - no she wasn't registered - she must have just thought it was a survey of Clifton poo
Jun 20th 2007, 6:35 am
#12
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Jun 20th 2007, 6:38 am
#13
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
Went to 'Ricketts Point in Beaumaris and ordered 1 portion of flake and chips and another of calamari and chips. When we opened the bag the flake was ok but we had just one 'portion' of calamari. Needless to say I went hungry that day!
Jun 20th 2007, 6:41 am
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
You couldnt make this up:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...+announcements
Its an old thread of mine from a few years back that has a very funny link to some airport announcements for those that have never heard them.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...+announcements
Its an old thread of mine from a few years back that has a very funny link to some airport announcements for those that have never heard them.
Jun 20th 2007, 6:47 am
#15
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Re: The "you couldn't make this stuff up" thread
This morning, when responding to a 000 call, fell into a roadside inspection pit in the dark whilst setting up a roadblock.
Bloody hurt.
Bloody hurt.