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Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Dougie,
It sounds like you have a good dialogue still going with the mrs, but please don't mug yourself, keep a diary, record all conversations and agreements, all access problems if they happen together with anything else that'll make you look less of a c@nt if the milk turns sour. Hopefully you won't need it but you won't know until it's too late. good luck i really hope it all works out for you |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by rinkerdink
(Post 7897930)
Dougie,
It sounds like you have a good dialogue still going with the mrs, but please don't mug yourself, keep a diary, record all conversations and agreements, all access problems if they happen together with anything else that'll make you look less of a c@nt if the milk turns sour. Hopefully you won't need it but you won't know until it's too late. good luck i really hope it all works out for you Dougie ;) |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
:( I just want to squeeze you and make it all better! :(
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Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Dougie, thinking of you and your family. Having been through similar myself I can tell you it's not an easy time for any of you. But my kids are older and had seen the problems my ex and I had had so they kind of expected the split.
Mediation (via Relate) is a really good way to sort things out and if money is tight (even though you have a property between you), then you may be entitled to legal aid so check that out. The mediator will go through everything with you including how to sort finances out. We kept everything amicable for the kids sake and made sure that we didn't argue in front of them. But you sound like the type of family who would make sure of that anyway. Good luck to you for the future. It does get better, I promise you Take care, Julie. x |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by Janna and Nick
(Post 7898204)
:( I just want to squeeze you and make it all better! :(
Thanks anyhoo ;)
Originally Posted by Juliecabs
(Post 7898424)
Dougie, thinking of you and your family. Having been through similar myself I can tell you it's not an easy time for any of you. But my kids are older and had seen the problems my ex and I had had so they kind of expected the split.
Mediation (via Relate) is a really good way to sort things out and if money is tight (even though you have a property between you), then you may be entitled to legal aid so check that out. The mediator will go through everything with you including how to sort finances out. We kept everything amicable for the kids sake and made sure that we didn't argue in front of them. But you sound like the type of family who would make sure of that anyway. Good luck to you for the future. It does get better, I promise you Take care, Julie. x We tried relate a while back and after the first session we were getting on really great and both decided that we didn't need it anymore...........what a dual mistake that turned out to be !! And yes I am sure that we can indeed keep things amicable regarding everything / one involved Dougie :fingerscrossed: |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by rinkerdink
(Post 7896436)
Easy to say, but if you girls gather round and the "you've got to think about yourself now" conversation takes place, if anything anything goes anywhere near the CAB or heaven forbid a divorce lawyer the man will (if there are children involved) get royally screwed by the system. I'm not taliking from personal experience but I have seen it happen around me enough!
You should try going through it before you come out with trite little sayings like 'Easy to say'.:rolleyes: |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Do try to do the mediation/counselling thing with her again. And if she won't go then do it on your own. The end of a relationship is very painful and it helps to talk to someone who has no personal involvement - not a friend or family member.
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now. My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience). |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by Dorothy
(Post 7899119)
Do try to do the mediation/counselling thing with her again. And if she won't go then do it on your own. The end of a relationship is very painful and it helps to talk to someone who has no personal involvement - not a friend or family member.
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now. My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience). |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
(Post 7899102)
Well I am talking from personal experience and you're talking bollocks.
You should try going through it before you come out with trite little sayings like 'Easy to say'.:rolleyes: The "Fathers for Justice" group wasn't set up just because a load of blokes enjoyed dressing up as Spiderman. |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by Dorothy
(Post 7899119)
Do try to do the mediation/counselling thing with her again. And if she won't go then do it on your own. The end of a relationship is very painful and it helps to talk to someone who has no personal involvement - not a friend or family member.
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now. My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience). |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
(Post 7899382)
I'm not going to turn this thread into a battle, but I think you will find that the men on this board who have been through it will have a very, very different perspective on how family law treats them.
The "Fathers for Justice" group wasn't set up just because a load of blokes enjoyed dressing up as Spiderman. |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by DOUGIE AN LOUISE
(Post 7898649)
~Thanks for your words Julie, We tried relate a while back and after the first session we were getting on really great and both decided that we didn't need it anymore...........what a dual mistake that turned out to be !! : Our mediator went through all the financial side of things ie pension sharing etc. She sorted it all out without us having to lift a finger. I know it's early days yet and you probably don't want to think about this sort of stuff yet, but the service is there is you need it. Julie. x |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
(Post 7899382)
The "Fathers for Justice" group wasn't set up just because a load of blokes enjoyed dressing up as Spiderman. |
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
So sorry for your troubles Dougie - I hope things work out for the best.
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Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
So sorry to hear about your news.
I am going through a marriage break up at the moment, but mine broke up in Australia and I am currently in the UK. Hope things work out as well as they possibly can for you.:fingerscrossed::) |
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