Originally Posted by TiddlyPom (Post 7896219)

Agreed! Totally surreal assumption! You both give to a relationship in different ways. Both ways carry 'value' and when it comes to splitting, it's possible to do it fairly and with a little dignity. It just takes a little bit of emotional maturity to both keep a level head on it and not drag it down to some gutter level.
Dignity is always the best choice.

Originally Posted by jazzys (Post 7896673)

The end of a dream eh, not necessarily Dougie.

In June 2007 i started a thread with a similar title. "My dream has died" if i remember rightly. We had our house up for sale, we had visa's in passports and it was all sysytems go. Me the wife and two kids, off to sunny Oz

Then she walked out.

Now i don't know you, louise or your circumstances. But the reason my other half walked out was she felt she was on a runaway train and the only way she could get off it was to walk out. Basically she wasn't ready to move, it had been my dream all along, not hers. She was doing it for me.

We had two kids together, one wanted to come to Australia, the other one didn't want to leave her mother. An extremely tricky and uncomfortable time was had by everyone involved. The family split right down the middle.

Two years on and my ex missus just lives for the day when she can be here in brisbane, back with her boys. The house that was up for sale in 2007 is still for sale. After xmas she will be renting it out and fully intends to be here full time by may / june 2010 when she gets our daughter set up in a flat of her own/

Our daughter still plans to stay in the UK for the foreseeable future but the missus is dead set on coming to be with us.

I suppose what i'm trying to say is, things could turn out differently to what your currently expecting. If you want her back, give her time to miss you and then let her know how you feel.

Good luck
Jazzys

Originally Posted by bobbyftm (Post 7896702)

Quite a remarkable turn around Jeff ,pleased as punch for yous all mate:fingerscrossed:

Originally Posted by looky (Post 7896731)

Sorry to hear about your current situation but I quite agree with some here who mentioned to just come here anyway and start life afresh. Isn't that what immigration is all about? To start afresh.

Marriage is a burden sometimes when it comes to a bad ending and it seems alot of marriage ends up in that way these days. To the point of whenever I hear about someone getting married I will be wondering when they will be going their separate ways. Its even trickier with kids involved. Being free means I know no one but I can affect what I have planned for my life.

Australia is waiting for you :thumbup:

Originally Posted by DOUGIE AN LOUISE (Post 7894111)

After over 12mths of research and filling in forms and spending countless nights on here gathering great info and going through and gaining a positive result from the TRA for my trade and gaining SS, from SA and paying for the Visa application fee its all over now :thumbdown:

Mrs Doug dont wanna be Mrs Doug no more !!

She has decided to call an end to our 9Yr relationship is seeking legal advice regarding a Divorce and is moving out a week on friday taking half the contents and the kids with her :(

I,m absolutly devestated and my head is right up my arse at the minute.

But hey ho shit happens the down under dream is no more just need to concerntrate on the boys and trying to afford to keep this house on :huh:

Just like to thank everyone on here for all the help that I have recieved through out the last year you know who you are and keep up the good work folks.

Regards


Dougie

Originally Posted by jazzys (Post 7896716)

Thanks mate, just proves that those dark days can eventually turn out to be sunny and happy again.

Jazzys

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 7894123)

Oh gosh Dougie, I am so very sorry
Life has a habit of throwing the unexpected in our paths.
I hope that you can manage to keep things amicable for your boys & I wish you luck!

Originally Posted by Janna and Nick (Post 7894133)

I'm sorry to hear that Dougie. :(

Maybe Oz is for you just at a later stage in your life. We wish you all the best for your future

Originally Posted by scottishcelts (Post 7894157)

$hit Dougie, that's awful, I'm shocked.

So sorry for you. Hope everything works out for you. Australia will seem like the last thing on your mind now.

You and your boys - will conquer the world. :thumbup:

Good luck D

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 7894528)

Hugs mate, from one who understands.

Originally Posted by emelems (Post 7894773)

:(

All the best for the future Dougie.. sad sad news my friend.. haven't got much advice except take one day at a time and keep putting one foot in front of the other to get through it all...

(((hugs))) keep posting..

Em x

Originally Posted by daviec33 (Post 7894796)

No way mate!.

I'm gutted for you!.

You've been a great bloke in our sparkies section!

I hope things work out for you one way or another in the long term!

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus (Post 7895155)

Take a hard hearted approach... sell up, take your half..... and walk.

And if Australia is really that important to you... come alone.

Originally Posted by Dreamy (Post 7895181)

Dougie, I'm so sorry to read that. Trying to emigrate is incredibly stressful, perhaps that contributed? Hope you manage to sort things out amicably

Not really stressfull in that sense as it was a nice get away for us both at least once a week we'd get together on the PC and have a good nose and plan stuff


That was my first thought - I'd imagine that its extremely difficult to leave children behind though, especially children who will be trying to adjust to a disjointed family life as it is.

Dougie - if it's meant to be for you to come here, then it will happen at some point. Trite and cliched I know

Originally Posted by paulry (Post 7895196)

I'm sorry to read about this bad news Dougie. I hope things work out for the best for you and your family.

Originally Posted by sonlymewalter (Post 7895209)

Sorry to hear about this. This migration malarky sure takes it out on people and in different ways. I hope it all works out for you mate, whatever it is you decide:fingerscrossed:

Originally Posted by Petals (Post 7895352)

So sorry things have not worked out and guess you are in the numb stage so when you get some life back come and join us over here. In the meantime keep posting to your friends on here forums can be very handy when things are pear shaped.

Originally Posted by coolerkingcooler (Post 7895465)

Extremely sorry to read this.

I can only offer you my sympathy and wish you all the best for the future.

Take care,
Cooler

Originally Posted by kporte (Post 7895470)

So sorry Dougie, all the best mate

Originally Posted by Dorothy (Post 7895483)

Sorry to read this, Dougie. Best wishes to you and yours no matter what the future holds.

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 (Post 7895628)

Sorry Dougie. Hope it doesn't get too nasty legalities wise and that you have plenty of access to your boys. Aus is here and not going anywhere, maybe at some point in the future you'll get here but in the big picture it hardly matters.

Take care.

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom (Post 7895660)

So sorry Dougie.

Remember, it will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, it's not the end.

x

Originally Posted by herrchook (Post 7895665)

Wise words TP!

Dougie I'm truly sorry to hear your news. I hope you and the kids come through it all to the happy future you deserve.

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus (Post 7895703)

Dougie... Try to avoid the courts if at all possible... you are the wrong gender to get anything out of them.

Originally Posted by rinkerdink (Post 7896206)

sad news, my advice...
Accept you are gonna get turned inside out by the system and give her everything and start from scratch. may not be 'fair' but pretty much where you will end up anyways. good luck

Originally Posted by Broad Shoulders (Post 7896404)

really sorry to hear that Dougie. It's a bit of a double whammy for you so I can only imagine would be really difficult to take right now.

How old are your kids?

Originally Posted by bobbyftm (Post 7896441)

All the best for the future mate in whatever you decide . Que Sera Sera !! ;)

Originally Posted by jazzys (Post 7896673)

The end of a dream eh, not necessarily Dougie.

In June 2007 i started a thread with a similar title. "My dream has died" if i remember rightly. We had our house up for sale, we had visa's in passports and it was all sysytems go. Me the wife and two kids, off to sunny Oz

Then she walked out.

Now i don't know you, louise or your circumstances. But the reason my other half walked out was she felt she was on a runaway train and the only way she could get off it was to walk out. Basically she wasn't ready to move, it had been my dream all along, not hers. She was doing it for me.

It has always been a joint decision for us and both equally as keen after she instigated the whole thing.....or so I thought ??

We had two kids together, one wanted to come to Australia, the other one didn't want to leave her mother. An extremely tricky and uncomfortable time was had by everyone involved. The family split right down the middle.

Not sure that would ever be an option for us as they are so young and very close brothers

Two years on and my ex missus just lives for the day when she can be here in brisbane, back with her boys. The house that was up for sale in 2007 is still for sale. After xmas she will be renting it out and fully intends to be here full time by may / june 2010 when she gets our daughter set up in a flat of her own/

Our daughter still plans to stay in the UK for the foreseeable future but the missus is dead set on coming to be with us.

I suppose what i'm trying to say is, things could turn out differently to what your currently expecting. If you want her back, give her time to miss you and then let her know how you feel.

I am liking this idea alot but she's going to be so busy with here job/degree course/house and the boys that I,m not so sure that she will get time to miss me !!

Good luck
Jazzys

Originally Posted by Syedney (Post 7896828)

Mate, just read this and am so sorry for you...:(

Haven't read everything here but will do ...Just thought to pass on my sentiments and my best wishes for you...

Like you say, shit happens and that's a very good and noble way of seeing things...Keep your chin up and like you say kids are priority...

Originally Posted by Fly Away (Post 7896842)

Sorry to hear your news. :(

I was just wondering if it was both your dreams to move to Australia or just yours? If you both still want to go, would it be possible to still do it but live apart in Australia?

Originally Posted by Kingseat (Post 7896965)

aaah Dougie I am sorry. WHat a shock.