Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Sep 2nd 2009, 6:50 am
#46
OnlyLivingBoyInNewCross
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 653
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Dougie,
It sounds like you have a good dialogue still going with the mrs, but please don't mug yourself, keep a diary, record all conversations and agreements, all access problems if they happen together with anything else that'll make you look less of a c@nt if the milk turns sour. Hopefully you won't need it but you won't know until it's too late. good luck i really hope it all works out for you
It sounds like you have a good dialogue still going with the mrs, but please don't mug yourself, keep a diary, record all conversations and agreements, all access problems if they happen together with anything else that'll make you look less of a c@nt if the milk turns sour. Hopefully you won't need it but you won't know until it's too late. good luck i really hope it all works out for you
Sep 2nd 2009, 7:01 am
#47
Swollen Member
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: 53.2691 -2.92946
Posts: 1,338
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Dougie,
It sounds like you have a good dialogue still going with the mrs, but please don't mug yourself, keep a diary, record all conversations and agreements, all access problems if they happen together with anything else that'll make you look less of a c@nt if the milk turns sour. Hopefully you won't need it but you won't know until it's too late. good luck i really hope it all works out for you
It sounds like you have a good dialogue still going with the mrs, but please don't mug yourself, keep a diary, record all conversations and agreements, all access problems if they happen together with anything else that'll make you look less of a c@nt if the milk turns sour. Hopefully you won't need it but you won't know until it's too late. good luck i really hope it all works out for you
Dougie
Sep 2nd 2009, 8:31 am
#48
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Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Perth baby!
Posts: 779
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
I just want to squeeze you and make it all better!
Sep 2nd 2009, 9:49 am
#49
Chocoholic
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Betchworth, Surrey.
Posts: 2,899
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Dougie, thinking of you and your family. Having been through similar myself I can tell you it's not an easy time for any of you. But my kids are older and had seen the problems my ex and I had had so they kind of expected the split.
Mediation (via Relate) is a really good way to sort things out and if money is tight (even though you have a property between you), then you may be entitled to legal aid so check that out. The mediator will go through everything with you including how to sort finances out.
We kept everything amicable for the kids sake and made sure that we didn't argue in front of them. But you sound like the type of family who would make sure of that anyway.
Good luck to you for the future. It does get better, I promise you
Take care,
Julie. x
Mediation (via Relate) is a really good way to sort things out and if money is tight (even though you have a property between you), then you may be entitled to legal aid so check that out. The mediator will go through everything with you including how to sort finances out.
We kept everything amicable for the kids sake and made sure that we didn't argue in front of them. But you sound like the type of family who would make sure of that anyway.
Good luck to you for the future. It does get better, I promise you
Take care,
Julie. x
Sep 2nd 2009, 11:46 am
#50
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: 53.2691 -2.92946
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Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
I am liking the thought of a good squeeze right now to be honest........... but with know disrespect the only person I want a squeeze off dont wanna squeeze back ! 
Thanks anyhoo
~Thanks for your words Julie,
We tried relate a while back and after the first session we were getting on really great and both decided that we didn't need it anymore...........what a dual mistake that turned out to be !!
And yes I am sure that we can indeed keep things amicable regarding everything / one involved
Dougie
Thanks anyhoo
Dougie, thinking of you and your family. Having been through similar myself I can tell you it's not an easy time for any of you. But my kids are older and had seen the problems my ex and I had had so they kind of expected the split.
Mediation (via Relate) is a really good way to sort things out and if money is tight (even though you have a property between you), then you may be entitled to legal aid so check that out. The mediator will go through everything with you including how to sort finances out.
We kept everything amicable for the kids sake and made sure that we didn't argue in front of them. But you sound like the type of family who would make sure of that anyway.
Good luck to you for the future. It does get better, I promise you
Take care,
Julie. x
Mediation (via Relate) is a really good way to sort things out and if money is tight (even though you have a property between you), then you may be entitled to legal aid so check that out. The mediator will go through everything with you including how to sort finances out.
We kept everything amicable for the kids sake and made sure that we didn't argue in front of them. But you sound like the type of family who would make sure of that anyway.
Good luck to you for the future. It does get better, I promise you
Take care,
Julie. x
We tried relate a while back and after the first session we were getting on really great and both decided that we didn't need it anymore...........what a dual mistake that turned out to be !!
And yes I am sure that we can indeed keep things amicable regarding everything / one involved
Dougie
Sep 2nd 2009, 4:11 pm
#51
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Easy to say, but if you girls gather round and the "you've got to think about yourself now" conversation takes place, if anything anything goes anywhere near the CAB or heaven forbid a divorce lawyer the man will (if there are children involved) get royally screwed by the system. I'm not taliking from personal experience but I have seen it happen around me enough!
You should try going through it before you come out with trite little sayings like 'Easy to say'.
Sep 2nd 2009, 4:19 pm
#52
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,995
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Do try to do the mediation/counselling thing with her again. And if she won't go then do it on your own. The end of a relationship is very painful and it helps to talk to someone who has no personal involvement - not a friend or family member.
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now.
My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience).
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now.
My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience).
Sep 2nd 2009, 4:20 pm
#53
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Do try to do the mediation/counselling thing with her again. And if she won't go then do it on your own. The end of a relationship is very painful and it helps to talk to someone who has no personal involvement - not a friend or family member.
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now.
My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience).
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now.
My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience).
Sep 2nd 2009, 6:32 pm
#54
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 14,188
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
The "Fathers for Justice" group wasn't set up just because a load of blokes enjoyed dressing up as Spiderman.
Sep 2nd 2009, 8:22 pm
#55
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Do try to do the mediation/counselling thing with her again. And if she won't go then do it on your own. The end of a relationship is very painful and it helps to talk to someone who has no personal involvement - not a friend or family member.
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now.
My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience).
Speak to her and see if she wants to be on the application still. Once your visa is granted the whole family can come to validate their visas and then you all have 5 years to decide if Australia is the right thing. You don't have to come together or even live together here, but everyone in Aus is much easier than some here and some there. If you have already spent that much time and money on something it would be a shame to throw it all away now.
My heart really does go out to you, Doug. Keep your chin up and remember that even though she's the one who left she's hurting too. (Says the voice of experience).
Sep 2nd 2009, 9:38 pm
#56
OnlyLivingBoyInNewCross
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 653
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
I'm not going to turn this thread into a battle, but I think you will find that the men on this board who have been through it will have a very, very different perspective on how family law treats them.
The "Fathers for Justice" group wasn't set up just because a load of blokes enjoyed dressing up as Spiderman.
The "Fathers for Justice" group wasn't set up just because a load of blokes enjoyed dressing up as Spiderman.
Superb
Sep 2nd 2009, 9:41 pm
#57
Chocoholic
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Betchworth, Surrey.
Posts: 2,899
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
Our mediator went through all the financial side of things ie pension sharing etc. She sorted it all out without us having to lift a finger.
I know it's early days yet and you probably don't want to think about this sort of stuff yet, but the service is there is you need it.
Julie. x
Sep 2nd 2009, 10:03 pm
#58
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
- well, there must have been a slight enjoyment. I'd bet they were all asked which superhero they loves as wee boys and then voila - Matt O'Connor turned up with the very things! 
Sep 2nd 2009, 11:24 pm
#59
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
So sorry for your troubles Dougie - I hope things work out for the best.
Sep 2nd 2009, 11:46 pm
#60
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Joined: Jul 2008
Location: South Australia
Posts: 503
Re: Its the end of the dream I,m afraid !
So sorry to hear about your news.
I am going through a marriage break up at the moment, but mine broke up in Australia and I am currently in the UK.
Hope things work out as well as they possibly can for you.
I am going through a marriage break up at the moment, but mine broke up in Australia and I am currently in the UK.
Hope things work out as well as they possibly can for you.
