kporte

So sorry Dougie, all the best mate

Dorothy

Sorry to read this, Dougie. Best wishes to you and yours no matter what the future holds.

moneypenny20

Sorry Dougie. Hope it doesn't get too nasty legalities wise and that you have plenty of access to your boys. Aus is here and not going anywhere, maybe at some point in the future you'll get here but in the big picture it hardly matters.

Take care.

TiddlyPom

So sorry Dougie.

Remember, it will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, it's not the end.

x

herrchook

Wise words TP!

Dougie I'm truly sorry to hear your news. I hope you and the kids come through it all to the happy future you deserve.

iamthecreaturefromuranus

Dougie... Try to avoid the courts if at all possible... you are the wrong gender to get anything out of them.

TiddlyPom

I don't think that's necessarily true C, but it's wise to avoid courts anyway. Most things can be sorted with mediation. But some people just like the drama and attention. Sadly.

copa

Best of luck.

I trust she's allowed to just take the kids?

If you'd made it to Oz .. you would have found a much fairer system for estalishing the kids custody arrangements.

rinkerdink

sad news, my advice...
Accept you are gonna get turned inside out by the system and give her everything and start from scratch. may not be 'fair' but pretty much where you will end up anyways. good luck

scottishcelts

- just a tad judgemental there don't ya think - the assumption being that all women walk away with EVERYTHING, just because they can.

I walked away from someone once. Never took a thing, was in my right to do so but never did, because i thought it was the right thing to do as i was the one doing the walking.

TiddlyPom

Agreed! Totally surreal assumption! You both give to a relationship in different ways. Both ways carry 'value' and when it comes to splitting, it's possible to do it fairly and with a little dignity. It just takes a little bit of emotional maturity to both keep a level head on it and not drag it down to some gutter level.
Dignity is always the best choice.

iamthecreaturefromuranus

...or, if you are a man, Newcastle is the best choice. London is apparently the place, globally, for woman to get divorced as its so "pro-wife"

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/to...MC-Bltn=HGJEBB

Nice to see that 'value' that men bring expressed in such detail later in the article.... 50 grand a year for her horses !!

TiddlyPom

Yes I notice that article doesn't say what the guy got, nor does it tell you anything about their personal circs.... just what they paid in settlement. Most people don't live in that league, do they...
I think when you have children, you just have to think about what is fair to both parents and work it out like adults.

iamthecreaturefromuranus

Trouble is, for far too many men, the legal systems view of "what is fair" seems to be that wife keeps the kids, the home and everything in it and the husband gets to hand over a big chunk of his income... while being excluded from seeing his kids as a well.

TiddlyPom

I don't think that's true and I don't think that it's very helpful on Dougie's thread either!
We're here to support him. Right?