Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 5074723)

PP and Daunted take their seats and start noisily throwing popcorn and yelling rude comments such as 'penis' and stuff.

'I wonder who the stripper is?' Daunted asked as she stuffed a load of popcorn in her mouth.

'Oh my god, it can't be!' PP yelled and started shouting at the other girls to look.

Standing in a policeman's outfit in all his glory, was Jazzy's and what is more, he looked damn naughty as well.

Originally Posted by BayWhale (Post 5074696)

Mothers should be educated that their children are only on loan while they are growing up.

All mums want to keep their kids close but there comes a day when you have to let go and let them do what they want to do and not what you want them to do. My daughter moved to Tassie when she got married and I missed my grandchildren growing up but they were always on the other end of a telephone. In todays world of computers and web cams it's even better, you can see them as well as talk to them.

Best of luck to you and your family, don't let the guilt get in the way of what you want out of life.

Originally Posted by BayWhale (Post 5074696)

Mothers should be educated that their children are only on loan while they are growing up.

All mums want to keep their kids close but there comes a day when you have to let go and let them do what they want to do and not what you want them to do. My daughter moved to Tassie when she got married and I missed my grandchildren growing up but they were always on the other end of a telephone. In todays world of computers and web cams it's even better, you can see them as well as talk to them.

Best of luck to you and your family, don't let the guilt get in the way of what you want out of life.

Originally Posted by daunted (Post 5074750)

Jazzy stood on stage wondering whether to hide his face or preserve his dignity. He had no idea that there would be a room full of women he actually 'knew'!!! WHY hadnt Helga the russian warned him???????????????????????????

Originally Posted by thewoodz (Post 5072486)

i know depressing title.
well thats just how i feel. my kids have finised school today and won't be going back in spet. my eldest came home with the school prize for physics and was told if he wasn't leaving then he would have been house captain or probably head boy next year.........
well i told my mum and i suppose its the straw that broke the camels back - she rushed out the room crying and soooooooo soooooo sad saying she felt so alone and depressed and she can't understand why we are depriving our son of the bright future he has in the UK (he has plans to be a doctor......) naturally those who know me know that i am very good at putting my foot in my mouth......so i say "well he may not be a doctor and end up as a beach bum" OMG you thought the flooding couldn't get any worse in the UK.
I just feel dead inside - i love my mum desperately but i'm not sure what she wants me to say.........

"Ok we won't go"
"tell you what he can stay here"

she is now looking at me with those tearful eyes and using her inahler as i have made he chest wheeze.
add to that the family party which started out as just the 4 of us for my daughters birthday today is now numbering 20...............
sorry to moan, but i know you lot will not mind me getting it off my chest but still
i just feel so evil and dead inside....................

Originally Posted by daunted (Post 5074750)

Jazzy stood on stage wondering whether to hide his face or preserve his dignity. He had no idea that there would be a room full of women he actually 'knew'!!! WHY hadnt Helga the russian warned him???????????????????????????

Originally Posted by penky (Post 5074796)

you guys are hilarious!!
wonder if Jeff will have gone the full monty by the time i come back tommorrow!!!

hope it cheers up woodz :rofl:

Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 5074792)

'Go on Jazzys, it is a sort of initiation into the 'Brotherhood of Visaship' Agent 007 The Lombard said to him.

John Howard who was only 2 ft tall and had to be carried around in a baby sling, agreed with The Lombard and added 'Yes, you won't be allowed in to Oz unless you get your kit off'.

Going very pale, Jazzy's looked to the other Agent 007 - Alan Collett and silently beckoned for some moral support.

Alan who has been known to swim to England and back from Melbourne and was so fit that he frequently offered his body as a surfboard to the surfer dudes in Sydney, shook his head and said 'Mate, we have all been there and have all got our kit off in one way or another'

'You liar' yelled Barry the Camp TRA Man (please see previous stories for explanation of pretend characters).

'Ouch!' Barry cried like a girl as The Lombard kicked him hard in the shins.

'There is nothing for it, you have to get them off' PTLabs demanded and then sniggered under his jumper that his nan had given him for his birthday.

'Come on then big boy, get them off or I will set Margaret and Herrchook on to you' Princess grinned and then started to yell to attract the Scottish contingent.

Anything could happen now.


http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...+party+stories (for those who need to meet my pretend characters)

Originally Posted by daunted (Post 5074754)

:wub: Exactly the philosopy I am trying to live by with my three children.

I wish you were my mum :wub:

Originally Posted by Yoong (Post 5074786)

You are full of wisdom BayWhale,enjoy reading your posts:thumbsup:
Yoong

Originally Posted by daunted (Post 5074539)

This is exactly how i am feeling today and i havent even got my visa yet.
Group hugs for all of us hey? :wub:

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse (Post 5074550)

#
Group hugs yes! and lots of Alcohol! follwowed by an evening with male strippers!
Doctors orders!:wub:

Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 5074558)

Can I have a group hug please, is there enough room?

Originally Posted by herrchook (Post 5074631)

Oh mate, we've just spent a last weekend with Mike's parents so I know how you're feeling. It's really crap isn't it?

Sending you loads of hugs:)

Gill

Originally Posted by BayWhale (Post 5074696)

Mothers should be educated that their children are only on loan while they are growing up.

All mums want to keep their kids close but there comes a day when you have to let go and let them do what they want to do and not what you want them to do. My daughter moved to Tassie when she got married and I missed my grandchildren growing up but they were always on the other end of a telephone. In todays world of computers and web cams it's even better, you can see them as well as talk to them.

Best of luck to you and your family, don't let the guilt get in the way of what you want out of life.

Originally Posted by the dooners (Post 5074793)

Hi the woodz there's never a right time to go you just got to do it.Told my elderly parents what i was going to do and they just said that they were really happy for me and in the next breath asked when they could come and visit.PS when I went out for a reccie in Feb my father said he was surprised to see me back they thought i wouldn't come back .
PS my dads got prostrate cancer and he would hate think I missed an oppertunity of a life time because off him i fact he was the 1st to wish me all the luck in the world. thats my story so far .Maybe they're trying to get rid off me.:unsure:

good luck the dooners

Originally Posted by BayWhale (Post 5074896)

:embaressed_smile:

Originally Posted by daunted (Post 5074872)

An air of expectation fell over the room. The only sound heard was that of Barry whimpering in the corner holding tightly onto his damaged shin.
Jazzy didnt know what to do. For so long now Agents 007 The Lombard and Collett had supported him. NOW when he needed them most they had let him down. Jazzy looked at the screaming crowd, then across at the door. It was a long shot BUT...........

Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 5074908)

Knowing he was well blessed in the trouser department, he flopped out his man parts and slapped everyone within reach with it, causing them to fall on the floor.

(sounds of John Howard being crushed)

'You have hurt him' Princess yelled as Jazzys tried to pick up his man-meat and put it away.

'Nobody hurts the Howard and gets away with it' Barry the Camp TRA Man gasped, trying to smooth down his Afro style hair. He was very thin and toned you know - a bit like a ballet dancer and he had bum cheeks so firm they looked like two apples in a bag.

'You will so pay for this' Princess cried and tried to find John Howard who was smothered by bits of debris.

'Not a good move mate' The Lombard said whilst shaking his head, Alan agreed with him and took an extra large swig of his beer.

'This,' Princess sneered and then added 'This, is war'

Picking up a bruised and battered John Howard, She shouted to Daunted 'That is it!, I sentence him to Death by Bra'.

'Not Death by Bra' Alan and The Lombard gasped going pale.

'Death by Bra' Barry repeated and they all nodded their heads like special people in the League of Gentlemen.

Originally Posted by thewoodz (Post 5074922)

OMG u are sooooooooo funny.....
how many strippers have you seen:sneaky::D

Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 5074932)

Only two I think.

But in my stories, my persona has seen loads and she carries John Howard around in a baby sling.

I also have lots of pretend characters as well as the real ones. Actually its about time I do a roll call to see who wants to go in my next story.

I can see a cowboy story might be in order, I like doing those.