All suggestions gratefully received...

Mine, for starters:

Make people repeat something four times, pretending you can't hear them.

Always forget to lay a fork at the table for one particular person.

Engage shop assistants with flattery when at the front of a long queue.

Why would you want to do that. I crave an easy simple life. Are you married to the other miserable tosser that is posting this evening. I sometimes wonder how people like you function with so much shit going round the brain.

Well that is guaranteed to annoy her!

I like to fiddle with the 'next customer' signs at the supermarket. The look of horror on the customer in front's face that they may end up paying for a stray apple is great fun.

Use the word 'math' instead of maths.

If you work in a bloody dvd shop ensure all the disks you let out are scratched just at the thrilling denouement of the film.

(Alternatively try going on a website and sling unprovoked insults at people?)

Or just tell the truth as it is mostly understood...

Dénouement ...hmmm I like it...

That is worth karma alone...

Press all the buttons in the lift before you get out.

Twanging a ladies bra strap really annoys them, particularly if you don't know them.

On the blob are we?

permanently it seems

Yes a movie with the climax missing is always not worth a shot... or the money...

That would work on me.

Airplane instead of Aeroplane. :curse:

No one seems to say Aeroplane anymore, it's weird.