Homesickness
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:07 am
#31
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Homesickness
Agree - it's become polarised in the Aus forums from what I see on here (when I stay up late!)
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:08 am
#32
Keeping it fairly real
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: In the sun
Posts: 32,863
Re: Homesickness
Yeah I was really keen.
I think people should be advised there's a possibility they could feel differently to the way they may believe - it could help them stick with it and not rashly go back.
With me it wasn't helped by my son being very upset about the move - I felt terrible and really questioned what I was throwing the kids into.
I think people should be advised there's a possibility they could feel differently to the way they may believe - it could help them stick with it and not rashly go back.
With me it wasn't helped by my son being very upset about the move - I felt terrible and really questioned what I was throwing the kids into.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:09 am
#33
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Homesickness
Agree. I have been waiting 13 months for the homesickness to kick in and it hasn't yet. Of course it hasn't all been smooth sailing here but I've never had an urge to go back where I came from. I don't understand people saying to expect it. Not everyone will.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:10 am
#35
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Homesickness
13 is a tough age for a girl. My daughter is 13 and she's just a big bundle of conflicting hormones at the moment. I can't imagine throwing in a cross the world move in too.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:11 am
#36
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Eltham, Victoria
Posts: 425
Re: Homesickness
No matter how much research you put into emigrating I'm sure that no one is 100% certain that things will work out for them.
A lot of people can't afford to do a reccie before they come either and can get a bit of a shock when Aus doesn't live up to their expectations.
The first couple of months after you arrive your emotions are all over the place, and little things can suddenly bring on an unexplainable longing for the familiar,, I had a bizarre moment in Bunnings once (
) I felt like I was in B&Q in the UK and I felt disorientated for hours!!!!
I still miss M&S after a year,, but would I ever go back to live in the UK?? NOPE!! way to many things here that are a million times better than an hour in M&S!!
I think your ability to adapt to new situations will determine how much homesickness you may or may not suffer, obviously people that don't like change will suffer the most,, doesn't mean they'll suffer for ever though
A lot of people can't afford to do a reccie before they come either and can get a bit of a shock when Aus doesn't live up to their expectations.
The first couple of months after you arrive your emotions are all over the place, and little things can suddenly bring on an unexplainable longing for the familiar,, I had a bizarre moment in Bunnings once (
) I felt like I was in B&Q in the UK and I felt disorientated for hours!!!!I still miss M&S after a year,, but would I ever go back to live in the UK?? NOPE!! way to many things here that are a million times better than an hour in M&S!!
I think your ability to adapt to new situations will determine how much homesickness you may or may not suffer, obviously people that don't like change will suffer the most,, doesn't mean they'll suffer for ever though
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:17 am
#37
Keeping it fairly real
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: In the sun
Posts: 32,863
Re: Homesickness
We got here at the wrong time, just before the October holidays so she didn't make any connections or friends at first, then before we knew it it was the summer holidays, still no friends. Luckily son took her out with him as he'd just passed his driving test, 6 months of hell, the rest they say is history...
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:17 am
#38
Keeping it fairly real
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: In the sun
Posts: 32,863
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:20 am
#39
Australian Citizen
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Elsternwick/Melbourne
Posts: 7,810
Re: Homesickness
No matter how much research you put into emigrating I'm sure that no one is 100% certain that things will work out for them.
A lot of people can't afford to do a reccie before they come either and can get a bit of a shock when Aus doesn't live up to their expectations.
The first couple of months after you arrive your emotions are all over the place, and little things can suddenly bring on an unexplainable longing for the familiar,, I had a bizarre moment in Bunnings once () I felt like I was in B&Q in the UK and I felt disorientated for hours!!!!
I still miss M&S after a year,, but would I ever go back to live in the UK?? NOPE!! way to many things here that are a million times better than an hour in M&S!!
I think your ability to adapt to new situations will determine how much homesickness you may or may not suffer, obviously people that don't like change will suffer the most,, doesn't mean they'll suffer for ever though
A lot of people can't afford to do a reccie before they come either and can get a bit of a shock when Aus doesn't live up to their expectations.
The first couple of months after you arrive your emotions are all over the place, and little things can suddenly bring on an unexplainable longing for the familiar,, I had a bizarre moment in Bunnings once (
) I felt like I was in B&Q in the UK and I felt disorientated for hours!!!!I still miss M&S after a year,, but would I ever go back to live in the UK?? NOPE!! way to many things here that are a million times better than an hour in M&S!!
I think your ability to adapt to new situations will determine how much homesickness you may or may not suffer, obviously people that don't like change will suffer the most,, doesn't mean they'll suffer for ever though
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:24 am
#40
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2006
Location: UTOPIA, QLD
Posts: 1,764
Re: Homesickness
Its such a strange feeling and was it really homesickness or just a sudden need for the familiar. I dont know but I just got so fed up with this place but in saying that, I got fed up with the UK and I hadn't moved anywhere.
I lay dying in a hospital bed for 6 weeks and still didn't want to go home so why this sudden yearning for home at that particular time. The only thing I miss about home (apart from cheese and onion and all that kind of stuff) is my people. Not everybody, just close family who I could pop in and see when I felt like it. Ok, they're on the end of a phone but it aint the same but I couldn't honestly see myself going home unless I was on the floor in a ball screaming.
Here's hoping that never happens.
I lay dying in a hospital bed for 6 weeks and still didn't want to go home so why this sudden yearning for home at that particular time. The only thing I miss about home (apart from cheese and onion and all that kind of stuff) is my people. Not everybody, just close family who I could pop in and see when I felt like it. Ok, they're on the end of a phone but it aint the same but I couldn't honestly see myself going home unless I was on the floor in a ball screaming. Here's hoping that never happens.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:31 am
#42
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Re: Homesickness
Its such a strange feeling and was it really homesickness or just a sudden need for the familiar. I dont know but I just got so fed up with this place but in saying that, I got fed up with the UK and I hadn't moved anywhere. I lay dying in a hospital bed for 6 weeks and still didn't want to go home so why this sudden yearning for home at that particular time. The only thing I miss about home (apart from cheese and onion and all that kind of stuff) is my people. Not everybody, just close family who I could pop in and see when I felt like it. Ok, they're on the end of a phone but it aint the same but I couldn't honestly see myself going home unless I was on the floor in a ball screaming. Here's hoping that never happens.
I lay dying in a hospital bed for 6 weeks and still didn't want to go home so why this sudden yearning for home at that particular time. The only thing I miss about home (apart from cheese and onion and all that kind of stuff) is my people. Not everybody, just close family who I could pop in and see when I felt like it. Ok, they're on the end of a phone but it aint the same but I couldn't honestly see myself going home unless I was on the floor in a ball screaming. Here's hoping that never happens.Was your homesick feeling for people or the place though?
I think there is a big difference in missing someone and wanting to go back.
For instance if you went back just because you wanted to pop down your mates house, then you'd also want to come straight back here once you'd seen them.
Missing the place means that you wouldn't want to come back here.
Does that make sense?
It's probably hard for those of us who haven't felt like that to understand what 'homesickness' is really.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:34 am
#43
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,533
Re: Homesickness
You know what, even after 3.5 years here I am still feeling as unsettled as I did when I landed.
I don't believe it's anything to do with mindset at all; I have worked my butt off trying to settle. I CANNOT do anything more. I WANTED to make this work. I can see how fantastic life is for my kids. I can see how relaxed my Hubby is everyday. I can see all of the good things that are here, believe me.
Homesickness, and people sickness, hits you like a tonne of bricks. I don't understand why it affected me in this way. I am not one of those people who was extremely close to my family. I only have a very small family who we would only see once every few weeks, if that. Don't get me wrong I love them dearly, but never felt the need to be with them every day.
I am also not one of those people that have never left the town they were born in. I left home at 18 to work at a holiday camp as a Red Coat, moved around quite a bit after that, so I've never clung onto my roots. I've always thrived on spontaneity and adventure and never been afraid to try new things.
So why did it effect me? I haven't got a damn clue. I wish I did, then I could find the answer and change it, and YES, I would stay in Australia because this is where my kids and husband are happy. But, this life I'm living here is making me ill. I am now doped up to the eyeballs on anti-depressants
some days I find it hard to function. I never felt like this before I came here. I feel like a pathetic failure when I read posts like the OP's. No offence to you and the others who've settled, but I just want to scream "Why did you settle and I can't?"
So please don't judge me, or anyone else that suffers with this *ucking awful feeling, because, believe me, I would give anything to settle in Australia.
I don't believe it's anything to do with mindset at all; I have worked my butt off trying to settle. I CANNOT do anything more. I WANTED to make this work. I can see how fantastic life is for my kids. I can see how relaxed my Hubby is everyday. I can see all of the good things that are here, believe me.
Homesickness, and people sickness, hits you like a tonne of bricks. I don't understand why it affected me in this way. I am not one of those people who was extremely close to my family. I only have a very small family who we would only see once every few weeks, if that. Don't get me wrong I love them dearly, but never felt the need to be with them every day.
I am also not one of those people that have never left the town they were born in. I left home at 18 to work at a holiday camp as a Red Coat, moved around quite a bit after that, so I've never clung onto my roots. I've always thrived on spontaneity and adventure and never been afraid to try new things.
So why did it effect me? I haven't got a damn clue. I wish I did, then I could find the answer and change it, and YES, I would stay in Australia because this is where my kids and husband are happy. But, this life I'm living here is making me ill. I am now doped up to the eyeballs on anti-depressants
some days I find it hard to function. I never felt like this before I came here. I feel like a pathetic failure when I read posts like the OP's. No offence to you and the others who've settled, but I just want to scream "Why did you settle and I can't?"So please don't judge me, or anyone else that suffers with this *ucking awful feeling, because, believe me, I would give anything to settle in Australia.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:35 am
#44
Australian Citizen
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Elsternwick/Melbourne
Posts: 7,810
Re: Homesickness
And I agree ....
I've been here a long time now, and know I haven't ...but feel for those applying for Visas who read that they will !
It's a fraught enough time as it is, without others putting negative thoughts in peoples head.
Sep 2nd 2007, 7:36 am
#45
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Homesickness
For me it was a panic about so many things to sort out and realising I didn't know a soul to call on - when we were evacuated due to fires we had to go to a Red Cross Station - I think my mind just wanted an escape and to 'put things right'. Of course the objecive reality is different to what your mind is telling you in that state. Slowly by meeting people and figuring out how things work (or don't) here I can be objective. Nowhere is Paradise and quality of life very much depends on your attitude. I don't crave going back now - but I do feel the need to meet British people some of the time! And watch Poirot!
Our families have reacted by blaming our leaving for any shortcomings in their lives - they are no longer any 'pull' for us to go back.
Our families have reacted by blaming our leaving for any shortcomings in their lives - they are no longer any 'pull' for us to go back.