Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
May 31st 2008, 9:46 pm
#31
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,376
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Sorry, here's a lone voice amongst the majority. I'd send the email off. They are obviously not friends and as such don't need the common courtesy you would give friends. They need to be told that their behaviour was not on and you don't require a thank you note nor do you want one. You also don't need to have to be their hosts again.
People like that need telling. At some point it will sink in that their behaviour was simply wrong and they may even learn from it.
People like that need telling. At some point it will sink in that their behaviour was simply wrong and they may even learn from it.
In fact, I have already typed up the email telling my MIL & FIL more than a few home truths. At the request of C, I have it sat in my email draft folder ready to fire off the second they get on that plane back to England next Friday!
It clearly states that they are not welcome anywhere near me ever again. Visiting future grandkids? Forget it! Being present at our wedding? Forget it! yadda yadda!!!
'kin arses!
May 31st 2008, 10:20 pm
#32
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Location: Ayr then Hampshire; Now Beaumaris, Melbourne
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Leave it. There is no point in stooping to their level, however much you want to. Actions speak louder than words. However, they probably know that they have pissed you and if they don't and ask, then tell them but without being accusing ie you made us feel, we felt etc.
ps did you go to the Malaysian in Black Rock?
ps did you go to the Malaysian in Black Rock?
May 31st 2008, 10:23 pm
#33
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
You're not alone Pen!!! I'd also send it!!
In fact, I have already typed up the email telling my MIL & FIL more than a few home truths. At the request of C, I have it sat in my email draft folder ready to fire off the second they get on that plane back to England next Friday!
It clearly states that they are not welcome anywhere near me ever again. Visiting future grandkids? Forget it! Being present at our wedding? Forget it! yadda yadda!!!
'kin arses!
In fact, I have already typed up the email telling my MIL & FIL more than a few home truths. At the request of C, I have it sat in my email draft folder ready to fire off the second they get on that plane back to England next Friday!
It clearly states that they are not welcome anywhere near me ever again. Visiting future grandkids? Forget it! Being present at our wedding? Forget it! yadda yadda!!!
'kin arses!
May 31st 2008, 10:24 pm
#34
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
At the time my wife and I observed different things and were prepared to make allowances for certain behaviours. It was only once they'd left did and there was no thanks offered did we actually sit and discuss. Only then did we realise quite how arrogant they were.
May 31st 2008, 10:32 pm
#35
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
At the time my wife and I observed different things and were prepared to make allowances for certain behaviours. It was only once they'd left did and there was no thanks offered did we actually sit and discuss. Only then did we realise quite how arrogant they were.
Revenge can be sweet... bet they never contact you again....
May 31st 2008, 10:43 pm
#36
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Many thanks for all the responses, and the ideas !
My preference is still to send a response, but perhaps slightly toned down and less emotive, but making it clear that we felt they took the piss and that we're not interested in a response - i.e. the friendship is over. I may also include an attachment with "a photo of your weekend" but it'll actually be loaded with a nice little invasive virus.
To echo what a few folk have said, whilst I do want to take the moral high ground I don't think I can actually let them swan around treating people that way - perhaps this is still a simple case of me needing to let steam off but I do want to point out that they are a couple of selfish twats.
I'll talk to Mrs Haggis today and decide - I'll keep you informed.
Somebody mentioned why we spent $650 on alcohol - he's from Belfast and I'm Scottish.
In the 34 months that we've been here we've had 9 different guests, who've stayed for a total of 11 months. Other than the obvious frustration of having folk in your house (pretty hard to watch Friends/EPL naked drinking a beer - as was pointed out after one particular episode
) it's actually been great and everyone has been appreciative. It won't change our outlook.
However the old proverb certainly rings true - Friends and Family are like Fish - they go off after 3 days !
My preference is still to send a response, but perhaps slightly toned down and less emotive, but making it clear that we felt they took the piss and that we're not interested in a response - i.e. the friendship is over. I may also include an attachment with "a photo of your weekend" but it'll actually be loaded with a nice little invasive virus.
To echo what a few folk have said, whilst I do want to take the moral high ground I don't think I can actually let them swan around treating people that way - perhaps this is still a simple case of me needing to let steam off but I do want to point out that they are a couple of selfish twats.
I'll talk to Mrs Haggis today and decide - I'll keep you informed.
Somebody mentioned why we spent $650 on alcohol - he's from Belfast and I'm Scottish.
In the 34 months that we've been here we've had 9 different guests, who've stayed for a total of 11 months. Other than the obvious frustration of having folk in your house (pretty hard to watch Friends/EPL naked drinking a beer - as was pointed out after one particular episode
) it's actually been great and everyone has been appreciative. It won't change our outlook. However the old proverb certainly rings true - Friends and Family are like Fish - they go off after 3 days !
Jun 1st 2008, 1:13 am
#37
High in the Dandenongs
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
I think I would just say...
Oh a thank you card? Forget about it mate. 5 months ago it may have ment something.......
Oh a thank you card? Forget about it mate. 5 months ago it may have ment something.......
Jun 1st 2008, 1:34 am
#38
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Alternatively write the email, starting with something along the lines of....
"Oh thank goodness you've contacted us. What's happened to you guys?. We have been really, really worried that one of you has had cancer or something...we couldn't think of any other reason why you didn't contact us after we gave up our lives for you for xx weeks, including spending over 1000/xxx pounds on your stay. Thank goodness that you're alive. We you planning on recooperating back here in Oz with us? That would be a bit tricky, as we're not really in a position to help. We can point you in the direction of a BnB nearby etc etc"
Hmm..maybe I'm being a bit harsh?
"Oh thank goodness you've contacted us. What's happened to you guys?. We have been really, really worried that one of you has had cancer or something...we couldn't think of any other reason why you didn't contact us after we gave up our lives for you for xx weeks, including spending over 1000/xxx pounds on your stay. Thank goodness that you're alive. We you planning on recooperating back here in Oz with us? That would be a bit tricky, as we're not really in a position to help. We can point you in the direction of a BnB nearby etc etc"
Hmm..maybe I'm being a bit harsh?
You're not alone Pen!!! I'd also send it!!
In fact, I have already typed up the email telling my MIL & FIL more than a few home truths. At the request of C, I have it sat in my email draft folder ready to fire off the second they get on that plane back to England next Friday!
It clearly states that they are not welcome anywhere near me ever again. Visiting future grandkids? Forget it! Being present at our wedding? Forget it! yadda yadda!!!
'kin arses!
In fact, I have already typed up the email telling my MIL & FIL more than a few home truths. At the request of C, I have it sat in my email draft folder ready to fire off the second they get on that plane back to England next Friday!
It clearly states that they are not welcome anywhere near me ever again. Visiting future grandkids? Forget it! Being present at our wedding? Forget it! yadda yadda!!!
'kin arses!
Jun 1st 2008, 1:36 am
#39
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Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Maroochydore, Sunshine Coast, QLD
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Also, there is no excuse for arrogance.
My tuppence worth is don't give any indication of the upset caused. Just have fun thinking up possible rebuttals for the future. Some excellent suggestions have already been made.
"You're coming to Australia again? That great. What part will you be visiting this time?"
Jun 1st 2008, 5:52 am
#40
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Jun 1st 2008, 5:56 am
#41
Lost in BE Cyberspace
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Jun 1st 2008, 6:31 am
#43
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
With no intention of keeping in touch, I'd follow Asher advice and make it very clear that for all of the above reasons they're no longer on the guest list.
Jun 1st 2008, 7:38 am
#44
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Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
I think it's true, we've all had something similar. Luckily mine was decades ago.
I would not have bought the wine though - it would have been the food and drink we normally have - but - I'm from Yorkshire!!!!
Hmmm, yes, I'd be inclined to agree with the majority - delete and forget the email; don't reply.
I would not have bought the wine though - it would have been the food and drink we normally have - but - I'm from Yorkshire!!!!
Hmmm, yes, I'd be inclined to agree with the majority - delete and forget the email; don't reply.
Jun 1st 2008, 7:41 am
#45
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
I wouldn't bother replying either, not after 5 months. If they had truly wanted to thank you, they would have done it immediately. Emailing to say they didn't have your address is no excuse. Sod 'em.