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Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by haggis supper
(Post 6416070)
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. Just leave it. This could have been a repeat story of when my BIL, SIL and family came to stay apart from it was a chinese takeaway not Malaysian. I fully intend never to see or speak to them again. Write it off as a 'you live and learn' experience. PS Fluffy and a host of others, have had equally delightful guests! Perhaps we should start an annual competition on the worst freeloaders we have had to host in that calendar year. |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
I'd say: write the most angry, stroppy email you can think of, calling them all the nasty names under the sun...
....then delete it without sending it, and move on. In fact this is almost what you've done. These people have behaved badly & you need to express that anger somehow. Maybe the message you drafted wasn't angry enough & perhaps writing another even stroppier one would help get it off your chest. However by deleting, rather than sending it you've not given them the satisfaction of knowing how upset you are, and it is the act of writing it that should help you. You could then delete their email address for good, block incoming messages from them - and move on. No need for any further communication. By the way, having had a few 'passengers' to stay over the years I've learnt that it's best to deal with freeloading straight up while they are staying. I usually put a big cheery smile on my face & say something like: 'come on missis, get moving, it's not a hotel you know, these dishes don't wash themselves!'. This type of humor-laced-with-truth usually gets the message across. Or I try 'let's get this dinner cooked. Do you want to prepare the salads or bbq the meat?' If this doesn't work, I resort to burying them alive under the patio (just kiddin' :lol:) G |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by haggis supper
(Post 6416070)
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=539759 |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by haggis supper
(Post 6416070)
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. You could print it off and burn it in some sort of ritual if you want, accompanied by a glass of your favourite. Add them to your junk email senders list as well if you can. Also at $650 alcohol for 4 days, when are you going to invite me around? :D |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Hi Haggis,
You sound like fantastic hosts Me thinks all is not so rosy in their garden though.................... Empty bottles make the most noise etc............. (oops sorry to rub salt in the wounds !). I'd just leave it and chalk it up to experience.................. Cheers, Sharie. |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by haggis supper
(Post 6416070)
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
[QUOTE=busterboy;6416134]Dearest Haggis
Just leave it. This could have been a repeat story of when my BIL, SIL and family came to stay apart from it was a chinese takeaway not Malaysian. I fully intend never to see or speak to them again. I got a towel:confused: |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Leave it. There is no point in stooping to their level, however much you want to. Actions speak louder than words. However, they probably know that they have pissed you and if they don't and ask, then tell them but without being accusing ie you made us feel, we felt etc.
ps did you go to the Malaysian in Black Rock? |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
To reiterate... leave it, learn your lesson (don't spend stupid money entertaining bludgers) and move on
Ignore em, they'll go away! And thank your lucky stars that they no longer live within easy reach... |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
[QUOTE=Margaret3;6416754]
Originally Posted by busterboy
(Post 6416134)
Dearest Haggis
Just leave it. This could have been a repeat story of when my BIL, SIL and family came to stay apart from it was a chinese takeaway not Malaysian. I fully intend never to see or speak to them again. I got a towel:confused: You got a towel?:confused::confused: |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by haggis supper
(Post 6416070)
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. Cheers Ginny |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by haggis supper
(Post 6416070)
Not entirely sure what the etiquette is on this one so I'm looking for advice...
We had friends (mum, dad and 2 young kids) visit from the UK in Jan. They are godparents to our daughter, and we to their son. Both parents work full time and are incredibly ambitious and work long hours. He is away from home 3-4 days a week travelling. He is now an MD of a large company, and basically doing exceptionally well. Both are extremely competitive. They stayed with us for 4 days and we took them all over Victoria doing the usual stuff. Mostly they just wanted to chill out around the pool though and expected all meals to be provided (including a large supper around 9pm every evening). I don't believe the husband once washed a dish, or even cleared a table. We also spent about $650 in Dan Murphys and at the husbands request we bought a crate of white wine as his wife liked this. There was no offer to contribute. They spent the entire time telling us how wonderful their new house was, how special their children are (our godson has turned into a spolit, demanding and rude little monster) whilst utterly ignoring ours - in fact they were rather rude to ours. Not once did they ask about our jobs or even comment on our new house. They had no desire to meet any of our friends - and made this clear. So basically we entertained them fully at our own cost for 4 days and all we had in return was a $40 Malaysian takeaway. On the last day I took the day off to run them to the airport. Not a word of thanks. There were no "thank you's" for our hospitality, no card and not even a wee bottle of wine. Nowt. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to entertain, show folks around and spoil our guests but I think this was extracting the urine somewhat. 5 months later we receive an email from the wife which reads - "Oops, been busy and can't find your address. Can you let us have it so we can get a thank you card off". My immediate response was to fire off an email telling them exactly what I think of them - but it's sat in my Draft folder. My wife simply deleted the email and wants to leave it at that. This couple were her close friends though and she's very disappointed. So the question is, do I simply leave it ? Do we send a brutally honest (but probably childish) response - it'll make me feel better ? Or are we expecting too much ? We have no intention of staying in touch with them now. Cheers. |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Originally Posted by rocket01
(Post 6416920)
Send them an email with this link :)
then send another one apologizing for sending this one as if it was a mistake. haha. and if they do come back again ever for whatever reason blah blah, feed them kangaroo penis!!!! nickie |
Re: Guests have pissed us off - how do we respond?
Actually I would email your address... they probably went home, won the lottery and have been in shock for 5 months.... Having come to their senses they are about to send you around the world cruise tickets as a gesture of sincere thanks ....
Or they want to know where to have the new yacht delivered.... Don't cut off your nose to spite your face:rofl: |
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