Innyjim

Hello All

Just thought I'd share my troubled thoughts with you. My wife and I moved to Fremantle in July of 2004 following a couple of years of getting the visa together. We moved back to the UK after a challenging 18 months at the end of 2005. My wife was really home sick and money was a little bit tight, although we'd bought a house and a couple of cars etc etc...

Anyway, the long of short it is that I have always wanted to go back to Oz deep down and thought that given time I could persuade my wife to go back. We have an 19 month old daughter now and our visa runs out May 2005. I've got this terrible feeling that if we don't give it another go we'll regret it for the rest of lives. Oh dilemnas !

irishbloo

Do you mean your visa "ran out May 2005"

mandoz

How does your wife feel about going back?

Its a tricky one because it probably requires some real soul searching from both of you.

You probably need to ask why it didnt work the first time, and how you can overcome those reasons this time.

Ive struggled with this myself, In doing so I've had to face that the two primary factors that brought me back to the uk after six years in oz are never going to change;

1)family
2)sense of belonging

So for me I have to ask wether on returning to Oz knowing these factors will always exist I then have to ask wether (hand on heart) I can get past this.

The factors which exist for you and your wife may of course be different, my suspicions are they will be similar.

Betty Boot

These were also my factors for coming back after 6 years in Oz. I am now hoping that on our return to Oz they wont effect me so much because a) i am aware of it b) i have realised the most important people in my family are my husband and kids and c) i dont feel like i belong here in the UK either!!!

mandoz

Hey there, cant remember if you had made your decision or not yet?

Innyjim

Sorry, our visas run out May 2009.

The wife isn't really that keen to go back but she is considering it. Lot's of issues really, namely:

Will we feel like we did last time after a while, or are we older/wiser/going into it with open eyes etc etc...??

Will we sell our house over here in a timely manner ?

We will be worse off than in 2004 as house prices in Perth have risen dramatically and we would probably going over there with the smae amount in Sterling. Obviously the exchange rate is now $2/£ as opposed to $2.6 in 2004...

Can we deal with the move again emotionally ?

My wife will really miss her parents, my parents already live in Oz.....

Thanks for your thoughts...

IJ

Betty Boot

Hiya, yes decision is made to head to Oz - the problem is just telling my parents, it will cause a lot of heartache The thing that makes matters worse is the current housing situation, i know we have to tell them as soon as the house goes on the market, but it could take years to sell, which means years of saddness How about you, wot are your plans?

BB x

Wandathecat

I guess one other thing to think about.........where is best for your child to grow up??

Your wife might not be as homesick this time around because them impression I get is that Oz is very family orientated........lots to do etc

Maybe now is the time?

Cx

Betty Boot

I think these are the issues of lots of us ping pongers! Housing, exchange rate, upheaval again, upsetting family - AGAIN! We will definately be worse off and i hate the thought of starting all over again, you kind of get to an age where you want stability, making a dent in you mortgage, etc It terrifies me how we will end up after going back for a second time, but then again bringing up our children here and living out my days here in the UK terrifies me. I have literally spent the last 2 years wondering what to do and waking in the night worrying about it, it is only now that i have come to the conclusion to return, hopefully you and your wife will too

Innyjim

Yeah, I know that feeling well.... Our daughter would probably be better off activity wise in Oz. But having said that we live in a nice village location, with a very good school, so I don't think she'll be too badly off here either...

I suppose it boils down to whether we can enjoy the same standard of living in Oz that we do here. We're relatively well off here, but whether or not we're going to be able to sustain that in these testing economic times remains to be seen... It just keeps comeing back to us feeling like we might be missing out, grass is greener etc.....

Oh what to do !!!!

pommybird

Innyjim - sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself out of it!! I think you've both got to REALLY want it to go back a second time - just my opinion good luck with the decision making (I don't envy you!)

mandoz

This is so right and really is the heart of the matter.

You will have to first and foremost convince your wife

I think women generally can (ducks) be a tad more emotional than men with regard to the family issue.

Its always tough with young kids(as in toddlers) IMO, because family support is so vital with such young kids.

However with you having one set of family over there, that in itself is a very strong plus point I would think.

Could you get more time on your visa?

Could you look at it as a temporary move...ie lets go and have an adventure for two years then come back. This may take the pressure off emotionally?

Hmmm. Currently we have gone for a compromise. We are saying two years in Melbourne (work pending). In that sense we would be able to rent our place out here and go with an open mind. I feel this is a good compromise because it kind of takes the pressure of us. We will go with the flow as to what happens after two years. Although I suspect we will both be secretly hoping we stay.
Im excited about this option but we wont be going for the next 12-18mths So we can share the pain of waiting if you like

Innyjim

Yeah, I do eh ? There are positives as well...just can't think of any at the moment

Weather, erm weather, Glad Wrap, weather..... Masterfood's Hot English Mustard, Red Rooster, fishing, crabs, weather, join in when you're comfortable...

pommybird

Well yes - I think the only real plus point in Oz for me was the weather. Ifound crime, drugs, yobs etc in Perth all on par with (if not worse than) where I live in the UK

I lived in Perth for 2 years - we returned to the UK in 2006 and IMO the UK is a much better place to live (weather aside but saying that it is 25 degrees and gorgeous here today). I would never return to Oz to live.

I think if your wife was not happy there (as I wasn't) would the same issues not be a problem this time round.

Betty Boot

just about sums it up for me i know that sounds very shallow but its what makes me and my family happy it just makes life so much easier and enjoyable. Oh and another one for me would have to be lack of chavs