Forgiveness..
#16
Re: Forgiveness..
Apart from several obvious things in life, I have always tried to maintain the attitude that forgiveness is good for a person's well being.
After all, it's not your karma at the end of the day.
I forgave my dad's witchy sisters (mum and dad were divorced) after their appalling treatment of me and my younger sister (who has learning difficulties) after he died, I won't go into the full story because it went on for so long. They lied to the priest about me, tried to make out to people that they paid for the funeral (lying cows all their lives). My husband paid for the full funeral and helped me sort everything out. They stole things from my dad's house and one of them was executer to his will (he really did not believe she would be such an evil bitch). She even kept the money that should have been divided between me and my sis (we seen a lawyer etc but it was useless, executer's really can do wtf they want). There was so much more but I'd be here all day.
They strongly believe that they are more important than my dad's children ("cos we is his sisturs" sort of attitude).
One thing they couldn't touch was the ashes (seen as they never paid for anything). Though it didn't stop them trying to get their hands on them.
I got over it. I got what I wanted in the end (my dad's ashes added into his family plot) - couldn't do it without them. So I forgave them for this reason. As I said - it's their karma at the end of the day.
After all, it's not your karma at the end of the day.
I forgave my dad's witchy sisters (mum and dad were divorced) after their appalling treatment of me and my younger sister (who has learning difficulties) after he died, I won't go into the full story because it went on for so long. They lied to the priest about me, tried to make out to people that they paid for the funeral (lying cows all their lives). My husband paid for the full funeral and helped me sort everything out. They stole things from my dad's house and one of them was executer to his will (he really did not believe she would be such an evil bitch). She even kept the money that should have been divided between me and my sis (we seen a lawyer etc but it was useless, executer's really can do wtf they want). There was so much more but I'd be here all day.
They strongly believe that they are more important than my dad's children ("cos we is his sisturs" sort of attitude).
One thing they couldn't touch was the ashes (seen as they never paid for anything). Though it didn't stop them trying to get their hands on them.
I got over it. I got what I wanted in the end (my dad's ashes added into his family plot) - couldn't do it without them. So I forgave them for this reason. As I said - it's their karma at the end of the day.
Last edited by scottishcelts; Nov 30th 2011 at 2:16 am.
#17
Re: Forgiveness..
IMO there are certain lines in life that you just dont cross. Someone crossed that line with me, she is now dead to me, and I will never ever forgive her or forget. Simple, No black and white.
However for most grey stuff, lifes too short, meh, in time I always get over it
However for most grey stuff, lifes too short, meh, in time I always get over it
#20
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Forgiveness..
I'm not.
#22
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,130
Re: Forgiveness..
Forgiving someone who makes a mistake is fairly straightforward- you are forgiving the mistake. But when that 'mistake' is repeated, and repeated, then it is not really a mistake. Then you are faced with the prospect of either forgiving the person for who they are, or simply walking away. The latter tends to be less painful.
#23
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Forgiveness..
Forgiving someone who makes a mistake is fairly straightforward- you are forgiving the mistake. But when that 'mistake' is repeated, and repeated, then it is not really a mistake. Then you are faced with the prospect of either forgiving the person for who they are, or simply walking away. The latter tends to be less painful.
I'm not really sure HOW to accept that person for doing it. I just don't know how to do it.
#24
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,130
Re: Forgiveness..
If you 'must' put up with it, then that will just add to the hurt and feeling of being trapped - and they know you are a captive audience and will see no reason to change. Perhaps if in their mind you could create a doubt, that you may not put up with it forever, in other words get rid of the 'must', it may help both of you. Without knowing the exact circumstances, all of our replies will be shooting in the dark, and that can be very dangerous!
#25
Re: Forgiveness..
The hardest person to forgive for mistakes made is.... Yourself.
I have one person I feel anger for... 20 years after the event.... She ripped my life apart and broke my heart in two... Told me she was sleeping with HIM... She wasnt, but I didnt ask HIM, I kicked HIM out.... It took a marriage and divorce on my part before I found out what really happened.... Or rather didnt...
Ok.... We got back together, had three more children, eventually married and immigrated.... A fairy tale ending for us but...
If I saw that nasty, spiteful slag today I would still want to punch her lights out.... i wouldnt do it, but I'd want to.... So I haven't forgiven her at all....
I have one person I feel anger for... 20 years after the event.... She ripped my life apart and broke my heart in two... Told me she was sleeping with HIM... She wasnt, but I didnt ask HIM, I kicked HIM out.... It took a marriage and divorce on my part before I found out what really happened.... Or rather didnt...
Ok.... We got back together, had three more children, eventually married and immigrated.... A fairy tale ending for us but...
If I saw that nasty, spiteful slag today I would still want to punch her lights out.... i wouldnt do it, but I'd want to.... So I haven't forgiven her at all....
#26
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Forgiveness..
I have 3 people on my 'do not forgive or forget at any cost' list and I would rather dig my own arse out with a fork than forgive them.
Fat ugly nasty wanking bastards - all of them, and it would never make me warm and fuzzy to forgive them, hating their nasty guts is far more satisfying.
Fat ugly nasty wanking bastards - all of them, and it would never make me warm and fuzzy to forgive them, hating their nasty guts is far more satisfying.
#27
Re: Forgiveness..
Either stay and keep getting hurt or choose to dump them cos they add no value to your life.
Easy as
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Somerset West RSA
Posts: 202
Re: Forgiveness..
And after fifteen years, I like to think I have forgiven, but whether I really have or not, not sure. What I won't do is allow it to affect my present and future wellbeing, and God's judgement is good enough for me.
#29
Re: Forgiveness..
If it's something else the same reply probably stands.