On my last day in the UK, I wish I could drive my car and smack straight into all the cars that park illegally that make my journey to work even more hell than it need be.

I'd love to pull out at roundabouts and juntions when cars are either indicating incorrectly or not bothering to indicate at all.

I wouldn't brake when people pull out directly in front of me without looking as they have a belief that they own the road and I'd get a crane and move all the cars parked on the pavement so pedestrians have to walk in the road and place the cars right slap bang on top of their own front door.

Ah, feel better now.

Anyone else with any last wishes ?

Yes I would love to stop all those idiots I see talking on their mobile phones while driving at speed, and trying to negotiate roundabouts, and take their mobile and chuck it in a ditch!

I would also like to pull onto the dual carriageway and smash into the prats who WILL NOT move over even thought there is nothing in the other lane!

And as for the prats who get in the wrong lane at the large roundabout down the road, which IS clearly signed, and then cut everyone else up, I would like to smack them about the face with a wet fish and make them take a sight test and a driving test!

Thank you Heather for providing this opportunity for me to voice this


Shirley x

Feeling much better now

Mine's simple really, I'd stuff up any BMW driver within a 20 mile radius (why oh why do they think they have different road rules to the rest of us!!!)

D D

Oh DD, Don't you know? They OWN the road Them and the merc drivers, and their indicators and mirrors are optional extras dontchaknow

I do hope you're not coming to Perth then. You won't notice any changes on the roads.

I would love to tell customers to #*$% off when they start being rude to me, so might have a go at that on the last day!

When they ask to see the manager, I will say 'ok' run a hand down in front of my face and then say 'I am the manager &%$#WIT'

It is fantastic when you can do that. When I worked at the bookies, we told the customers to f*** off quite regularly. It's the only job I've ever had where you can get away with it, even with a company director stood next to you

Aint that the truth!!!

D D xx

Excellent!!!

I would blow up my next door neighbours extension. Extension was due to be built in Aug 2006, but they brought it forward to Jan 2006. We had just put house up for sale, we had a cash buyer who pulled out at the last minute due to the extension blocking off loads of light and almost doubling the size of their house and making it look like an eye sore, We had scaffolding on our property for 9 weeks they originally said 5. AAAGGGHHH!!! they have never knocked on our door to say thanks for all the mess/disruption etc.. inconsiderate BXXXXXXS. We have had 7 people view and every one said love the house but hate next doors extension. Hence we are still sat in Blighty with visas in passport and we may even have to go on a validation trip. So Blow up next doors 50 grand extension Yippeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
God I wish I could.

I'd also like to be able to tell people in work exactly what I think of them - especially the men who prance around in their suits and shiny shoes thinking they're the bees knees and the girls in their crop tops, muffin sides, trousers that just about come up to their groin with thong hanging over the top at the back.

DO YA KNOW WHAT A STATE YOU LOOK ????

Instead, why don't you just dig underneath it, remove all the foundations and then flood their garden ?

I like you, now where did I put my spade!!!!

I'd let down all the tyres on the 4x4s driven by women in this area and watch them panic when they couldn't drive the 50yards down the road to the local school and shops
Bugger it - why wait until I leave.

Our next door neighbour has a 4x4 do you want to start with them.

Empty a years worth of beer cans next door as they are alcoholics and i always end up with their rubbish in my garden one day i counted 90 cans and that was after a mid morning session (only 2 people)
i would tell my sons head teacher to stick her sarcastic comments and say she is rubbish and leave. she is a real cow and not only picks on the kids but me too.
i would love to bump my car in to the bloke oppisite as he always parks in front of my drive and is only cos iam careful that i havent hit his car.
Thats my rant over, i feel so much better now
i have a 4x4 but only as i have dogs to put in the car and 3 kids and we take it too scotland for regular off road driving, not for the school run
Mandy