Kim67

I remember in the 80's my sister was living in a small town in the NT and there were few rental properties available. She became very excited because one of the guys in town had shot and killed another guy and was going to court and everyone thought he would do time and she was next in line for his house. Unfortunately he got off, according to the judge farting in someone's face when bending over the jukebox in the pub was provocation and he deserved to be shot.

The Bloke

Noses are supposed to be put to the grindstone, not so close to the armpits....

scottishcelts

I'm talking about people at the other end of the supermarket ffs.

slapphead_otool

Its tolerance! They don’t have to wear deodorant if they don’t want to.

In fact they may be allergic to it, or they may have odour problems that are not resolved by deodorant.

Either way, just like the boobfood thread, ya gotta live with it. Its not illegal.

And of course you shouldn’t be able to smell an armpit because of the total stench of farts, and your complaints go unnoticed due to the thundering roar of a million asses venting.

Tolerance.

scottishcelts

cresta57

As opposed to women who don't fart because their mouths are not closed for long enough to build up the necessary pressure

tonrob

The Sproutlet's farts are horrific. She and I are clearly cut from the same (touching) cloth.

The Crow

My 7 year old breathes hers in and then breathes them out in my face - charming child

paulry

Urhhh a hot box

CelticRover

It can be a cultural requirement in some circles.




Tae a Fert
> (Tae be uttered in yerr best Scottish accent)
>
>
> OH WHAT A SLEEKIT, HORRIBLE BEASTIE
> LURKS IN YER STOMACH EFTER A FEASTIE.
> JUST AS YE SIT DOON AMONG YER KIN,
> THERE STERTS TAE STIR AN ENORMOUS WIND.
>
> THE NEEPS AN' TATTIES AN'MUSHY PEAS
> STERT WORKIN LIKE A GENTLE BREEZE
> BUT SOON THE PUDDIN' WI' THE SONSIE FACE
> WILL HUV YE BLAWIN' A'OWER THE PLACE
> NAE MATTER WHIT THE HELL YE DAE
> A'BODY'S GONNAE HUV TAE PAY.
> EVEN IF YE TRY TAE STIFLE,
> IT'S LIKE A BULLET OOT A RIFLE.
>
> HAUD YER BUM TIGHT TAE THE CHAIR
> TAE TRY AN' STOP THE LEAKIN' AIR.
> SHIFTS YERSL' FAE CHEEK TO CHEEK
> AN' PRAY TAE GOD IT DISNAE REEK.
> BUT A'YER EFFORTS GO ASSUNDER
> OOT IT COMES LIKE A CLAP O'THUNDER.
> IT RICOCHETS AROON' THE ROOM
> MICHTY ME! A SONIC BOOM!
> GOD ALMIGHTY, IT FAIRLY REEKS
> (AH HOPE AH HUVNAE SHIT MA BREEKS!)
> STRAIGHT TAE THE BOG AH BETTER SCURRY
> AW WHIT THE HELL, IT'S NO MA WORRY.
> A'BODY ROON' ABOOT ME'S CHOKIN',
> WAN OR TWO ARE NEARLY BOKIN'.
> AH'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER FUR A WHILE,
> AH CANNAE HELP BUT RAISE A SMILE.
>
> "WIS HIM!!" AH SHOUT, WI ACCUSIN' GLOWER.
> ALAS, TOO LATE. HE'S JUST KEELED OWER.
> "YA DIRTY BUGGER!" THEY SHOUT AND STARE.
> AH DINNAE FEEL WELCOME ONY MAIR.
>
> WHERE E'ER YE BE, LET YER WIND GANG FREE
> (SOUNDS JIST THE JOB FUR THEE AND ME)
> WHIT A FUSS AT RABBIE'S PERTY
> OWER THE SAKE O'WAN WEE FERTY.>

mikelincs

Epitaph on a gravestone
'wherever you may be
let thy wind go free
In church or chapel let it rattle
for it was the wind that killed me.'

rasen78

Botty Burps (as they're called Chez Rasen and ROMFT) are the focus of many a competition. The worst would be between ROMFT and the boy, especially after a Sunday roast....the lass is a close 3rd. I maintain mine smell as sweet as a rose. ROMFT would dispute this; however, he has no sense of smell so his opinion is therefore forfeit

paulry

That's as bad as the delightful kids at my son's Pizza Hut party a few years back who were burping into eachothers cokes

mikelincs

At least they weren't farting into them.

paulry

true