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Old Jun 6th 2008 | 6:31 am
  #1  
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Default The Fart Chart

==========
Which one are you guys...and Gals of course (oops, forgot, you don't fart. Or so my wife tells me..)
==========

* AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

* CARELESS : Farts in church

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

* HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

* LAZY : Just fizzles

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

* STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit

 
Old Jun 6th 2008 | 9:00 pm
  #2  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

My OH is a vain, conceited smart alec
 
Old Jun 6th 2008 | 9:05 pm
  #3  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Originally Posted by Kapri
My OH is a vain, conceited smart alec
LOL......
 
Old Jun 6th 2008 | 9:18 pm
  #4  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Everyone stop farting, i'm eating my Dinner
 
Old Jun 6th 2008 | 9:23 pm
  #5  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

this is about my level!!

My oh is an 'unfortunate' 'slob' with a 'grouchy' streak
 
Old Jun 6th 2008 | 9:23 pm
  #6  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Originally Posted by aus2be_OH
==========
Which one are you guys...and Gals of course (oops, forgot, you don't fart. Or so my wife tells me..)
==========

* AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

* CARELESS : Farts in church

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

* HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

* LAZY : Just fizzles

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

* STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit

Are you related to Feckinirish by any chance
 
Old Jun 6th 2008 | 11:25 pm
  #7  
aus2be_OH's Avatar
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
Are you related to Feckinirish by any chance
Me....never met the man....don't believe anything he tells you.......
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 2:11 am
  #8  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Originally Posted by aus2be_OH
==========
Which one are you guys...and Gals of course (oops, forgot, you don't fart. Or so my wife tells me..)
==========

* AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

* CARELESS : Farts in church

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

* HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

* LAZY : Just fizzles

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

* STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit



im number 5
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 3:59 am
  #9  
aus2be_OH's Avatar
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

C,mon guys and gals. 117 views and only 7 replies....don't be embarassed, you're among friends,.......
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 4:03 am
  #10  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

My OH is an ambitious, proud sadist.
Forgot he is a smart Alec too

Last edited by maisey; Jun 7th 2008 at 4:04 am. Reason: forgot one
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 4:18 am
  #11  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

I've posted this before but it follows on quite nicely
The world of poo!


Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 4:43 am
  #12  
aus2be_OH's Avatar
Thread Starter
In Perth & Loving it...
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 539
From: Perth, Western Australia
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Originally Posted by perksy
I've posted this before but it follows on quite nicely
The world of poo!


Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.
RFLMAO.........:thum bsup:
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 6:49 am
  #13  
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Posts: 57
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

Originally Posted by aus2be_OH
RFLMAO.........:thum bsup:
You missed the deep sea diver.I heard my son and his pal arguing when they were about 8 and my son said "no its not,a deep sea diver is when you plop a poo and when you look its gone straight round the bend itself "
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 7:07 am
  #14  
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

i am a few of them lol

wouldnt like to name one or two but lets just say i find it funny esp in bed with the mrs when i ask her to cuddle me then i rip a really good un

needless to say she aint too impressed but i think its ace!!

she has a dodgy back at ther moment so cant turn around very quick!!!
 
Old Jun 7th 2008 | 7:33 am
  #15  
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Posts: 270
From: Southampton
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Default Re: The Fart Chart

OMG the tears are running down my face! haven't laughed so much in ages
OH is ambitious and athletic, occasionally verging on the damned mean.
I, of course, am a lady so never fart
 


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