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The Fart Chart
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Which one are you guys...and Gals of course (oops, forgot, you don't fart. Or so my wife tells me..) ========== * AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart * AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts * ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private * AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes * ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times * BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others * BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others * CARELESS : Farts in church * CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles * CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time * CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest * CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go * CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating * DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head * DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog * DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell * DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own * ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution * FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours * FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts * GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart * HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason * IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs * LAZY : Just fizzles * MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles * MISERABLE : Can't fart at all * MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell * NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart * PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant * SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers * SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts * SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying * SHY : Blushes when he farts silently * SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear * SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present * SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog * STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole * STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter * THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve * TIMID : Jumps when he farts * UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself * VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart * WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion * WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit :thumbsup::thumbsup: |
Re: The Fart Chart
My OH is a vain, conceited smart alec :mad:
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Re: The Fart Chart
Originally Posted by Kapri
(Post 6443890)
My OH is a vain, conceited smart alec :mad:
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Re: The Fart Chart
Everyone stop farting, i'm eating my Dinner:lol:
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Re: The Fart Chart
:rofl: this is about my level!! :p;)
My oh is an 'unfortunate' 'slob' with a 'grouchy' streak :lol::rofl::rofl::rofl: |
Re: The Fart Chart
Originally Posted by aus2be_OH
(Post 6442077)
==========
Which one are you guys...and Gals of course (oops, forgot, you don't fart. Or so my wife tells me..) ========== * AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart * AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts * ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private * AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes * ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times * BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others * BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others * CARELESS : Farts in church * CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles * CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time * CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest * CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go * CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating * DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head * DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog * DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell * DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own * ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution * FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours * FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts * GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart * HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason * IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs * LAZY : Just fizzles * MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles * MISERABLE : Can't fart at all * MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell * NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart * PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant * SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers * SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts * SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying * SHY : Blushes when he farts silently * SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear * SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present * SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog * STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole * STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter * THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve * TIMID : Jumps when he farts * UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself * VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart * WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion * WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit :thumbsup::thumbsup: |
Re: The Fart Chart
Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
(Post 6443945)
Are you related to Feckinirish by any chance;):D
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Re: The Fart Chart
Originally Posted by aus2be_OH
(Post 6442077)
==========
Which one are you guys...and Gals of course (oops, forgot, you don't fart. Or so my wife tells me..) ========== * AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart * AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts * ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private * AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes * ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times * BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others * BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others * CARELESS : Farts in church * CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles * CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time * CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest * CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go * CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating * DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head * DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog * DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell * DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own * ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution * FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours * FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts * GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart * HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason * IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs * LAZY : Just fizzles * MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles * MISERABLE : Can't fart at all * MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell * NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart * PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant * SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers * SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts * SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying * SHY : Blushes when he farts silently * SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear * SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present * SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog * STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole * STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter * THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve * TIMID : Jumps when he farts * UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself * VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart * WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion * WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit :thumbsup::thumbsup: im number 5 :zzz: |
Re: The Fart Chart
C,mon guys and gals. 117 views and only 7 replies....don't be embarassed, you're among friends,.......:rofl::rofl:
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Re: The Fart Chart
My OH is an ambitious, proud sadist.:thumbsup:
Forgot he is a smart Alec too:mad: |
Re: The Fart Chart
I've posted this before but it follows on quite nicely :D
The world of poo! Ghost Poo: You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the toilet. Where is it? Teflon Poo: So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it. Goo Poo: This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the toilet. Second Thoughts Poo: You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise... there's more to come. Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard. Weight Watchers Poo: You poo so much you lose several pounds. Right Now Poo: You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your pants down. King Kong Poo: This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well. This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house. Cork Poo: Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there, floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it? Wet Cheeks Poo: This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish. Wish Poo: You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo. Cement Block Poo: You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed. Snake Poo: This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least three feet long. Morning After Poo: Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house (normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside to use the bathroom. Mexican Food Poo: Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum stops burning. Boo Hoo Poo: Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the stitches or go for the fuller figure. |
Re: The Fart Chart
Originally Posted by perksy
(Post 6444679)
I've posted this before but it follows on quite nicely :D
The world of poo! Ghost Poo: You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the toilet. Where is it? Teflon Poo: So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it. Goo Poo: This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the toilet. Second Thoughts Poo: You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise... there's more to come. Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard. Weight Watchers Poo: You poo so much you lose several pounds. Right Now Poo: You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your pants down. King Kong Poo: This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well. This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house. Cork Poo: Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there, floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it? Wet Cheeks Poo: This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish. Wish Poo: You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo. Cement Block Poo: You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed. Snake Poo: This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least three feet long. Morning After Poo: Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house (normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside to use the bathroom. Mexican Food Poo: Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum stops burning. Boo Hoo Poo: Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the stitches or go for the fuller figure. |
Re: The Fart Chart
Originally Posted by aus2be_OH
(Post 6444746)
RFLMAO.........:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thum bsup:
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Re: The Fart Chart
i am a few of them lol
wouldnt like to name one or two but lets just say i find it funny esp in bed with the mrs when i ask her to cuddle me then i rip a really good un:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: needless to say she aint too impressed but i think its ace!! she has a dodgy back at ther moment so cant turn around very quick!!! |
Re: The Fart Chart
OMG the tears are running down my face! haven't laughed so much in ages:rofl::rofl:
OH is ambitious and athletic, occasionally verging on the damned mean. I, of course, am a lady so never fart:p |
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