Ever been Caught Short ?
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:23 pm
#1
Thread Starter
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,138
From: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Ever been Caught Short ?
Most fellas will be aware of this old chestnut, especially the tradies amongst us...
At work.. need a crap... no site loo?
Loo in the house is plumbed up..
MORAL: ! always carry a toilet roll with you. I do !!!
So anyways, apart from dropping the dunny roll.. and doing that sumo wrestler hobbling manouvre so as not to snap one off... this went a tad differently..
1 sheet of LOO PAPER !!!
How bloody annoying is that !!
No matter if you have a 3rd dan black belt in Origami, or are a Butt flosser extraordinaire ! It only goes so far.
Suffice to say, just back from work, and the wife has asked me why I only have 1 sock on !!!!!
Have you been caught short too, and what scout tactics did you administer to get you thru the ordeal?
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:27 pm
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,409
From: Adelaide
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
Most fellas will be aware of this old chestnut, especially the tradies amongst us...
At work.. need a crap... no site loo?
Loo in the house is plumbed up..
MORAL: ! always carry a toilet roll with you. I do !!!
So anyways, apart from dropping the dunny roll.. and doing that sumo wrestler hobbling manouvre so as not to snap one off... this went a tad differently..
1 sheet of LOO PAPER !!!
How bloody annoying is that !!
No matter if you have a 3rd dan black belt in Origami, or are a Butt flosser extraordinaire ! It only goes so far.
Suffice to say, just back from work, and the wife has asked me why I only have 1 sock on !!!!!
Have you been caught short too, and what scout tactics did you administer to get you thru the ordeal?
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:29 pm
#3
Thread Starter
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,138
From: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:32 pm
#5
Thread Starter
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,138
From: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Brilliant!
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:41 pm
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 28,175
From: at the bottom of a wine glass
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
You wiped your arse on your sock 
you manky bugger! 
you manky bugger!
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:41 pm
#8
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 211
From: Cambridge To Dawesville,WA
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
So how many odd socks do you have now ? 
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:49 pm
#9
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 8,913
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
My hubby comes home at least once a week with shitty underpants..he hates using other people's loo's, he is too embarrassed to leave a stench!'
So it's always touching cloth,
edit: he shit's in alot of carrier bags in back of van...lol
So it's always touching cloth,
edit: he shit's in alot of carrier bags in back of van...lol
Last edited by Nu-Shooz; Dec 17th 2007 at 5:57 pm. Reason: forgot the main point.
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:54 pm
#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
Most fellas will be aware of this old chestnut, especially the tradies amongst us...
At work.. need a crap... no site loo?
Loo in the house is plumbed up..
MORAL: ! always carry a toilet roll with you. I do !!!
So anyways, apart from dropping the dunny roll.. and doing that sumo wrestler hobbling manouvre so as not to snap one off... this went a tad differently..
1 sheet of LOO PAPER !!!
How bloody annoying is that !!
No matter if you have a 3rd dan black belt in Origami, or are a Butt flosser extraordinaire ! It only goes so far.
Suffice to say, just back from work, and the wife has asked me why I only have 1 sock on !!!!!
Have you been caught short too, and what scout tactics did you administer to get you thru the ordeal?
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:58 pm
#11
A former regular of BE
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,241
From: Carramar, Perth
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
Two’s – no. One’s – too many to mention. Here’s a couple.
At 18 I was walking home from town and me and 3 mates nipped down an alleyway to relieve ourselves. Mid-flow we were confronted by a copper who was not impressed. I thought we might be in big trouble. He asked our names and one mate said “Mickey Mouse†– my career flashed in front of me – never able to get a job because of a conviction for indecent exposure but the cop saw the funny side and sent us on our way with a flea in our ear and a half-full bladder (which we emptied 2 minutes later at the next alleyway).
About 5 years later I was out in Brum on the beers and facing a 45 minute train ride followed by a 25 minute walk home. I knew the only way it was possible was to use the loo on the train. But there was only one and it was out of order. I tried to hold it but was only half way when I realised there was no chance. It was the last train of the night so there was no option; I went down the back of the seat in front. 2 minutes later the guard walked down the train announcing there would be a 5 minute delay at Dorridge in case anyone was caught short. He must have seen the puddle on the floor but said nothing.
At 18 I was walking home from town and me and 3 mates nipped down an alleyway to relieve ourselves. Mid-flow we were confronted by a copper who was not impressed. I thought we might be in big trouble. He asked our names and one mate said “Mickey Mouse†– my career flashed in front of me – never able to get a job because of a conviction for indecent exposure but the cop saw the funny side and sent us on our way with a flea in our ear and a half-full bladder (which we emptied 2 minutes later at the next alleyway).
About 5 years later I was out in Brum on the beers and facing a 45 minute train ride followed by a 25 minute walk home. I knew the only way it was possible was to use the loo on the train. But there was only one and it was out of order. I tried to hold it but was only half way when I realised there was no chance. It was the last train of the night so there was no option; I went down the back of the seat in front. 2 minutes later the guard walked down the train announcing there would be a 5 minute delay at Dorridge in case anyone was caught short. He must have seen the puddle on the floor but said nothing.
Dec 17th 2007 | 5:59 pm
#12
Thread Starter
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,138
From: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
OMG I love this thread !! < Seriously pmsl here
Dec 17th 2007 | 6:22 pm
#13
Living in Perthection
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,868
From: Wickedy WA WA...
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
Two’s – no. One’s – too many to mention. Here’s a couple.
At 18 I was walking home from town and me and 3 mates nipped down an alleyway to relieve ourselves. Mid-flow we were confronted by a copper who was not impressed. I thought we might be in big trouble. He asked our names and one mate said “Mickey Mouse†– my career flashed in front of me – never able to get a job because of a conviction for indecent exposure but the cop saw the funny side and sent us on our way with a flea in our ear and a half-full bladder (which we emptied 2 minutes later at the next alleyway).
About 5 years later I was out in Brum on the beers and facing a 45 minute train ride followed by a 25 minute walk home. I knew the only way it was possible was to use the loo on the train. But there was only one and it was out of order. I tried to hold it but was only half way when I realised there was no chance. It was the last train of the night so there was no option; I went down the back of the seat in front. 2 minutes later the guard walked down the train announcing there would be a 5 minute delay at Dorridge in case anyone was caught short. He must have seen the puddle on the floor but said nothing.
At 18 I was walking home from town and me and 3 mates nipped down an alleyway to relieve ourselves. Mid-flow we were confronted by a copper who was not impressed. I thought we might be in big trouble. He asked our names and one mate said “Mickey Mouse†– my career flashed in front of me – never able to get a job because of a conviction for indecent exposure but the cop saw the funny side and sent us on our way with a flea in our ear and a half-full bladder (which we emptied 2 minutes later at the next alleyway).
About 5 years later I was out in Brum on the beers and facing a 45 minute train ride followed by a 25 minute walk home. I knew the only way it was possible was to use the loo on the train. But there was only one and it was out of order. I tried to hold it but was only half way when I realised there was no chance. It was the last train of the night so there was no option; I went down the back of the seat in front. 2 minutes later the guard walked down the train announcing there would be a 5 minute delay at Dorridge in case anyone was caught short. He must have seen the puddle on the floor but said nothing.
he had no choice but to utilise the bottle, got it all lined up between his legs so he could keep driving, got his todger in the hole and off he went, about 3 seconds in what was pure relief turned into the complete opposite, because of the slight swelling of the old boy as he was going and the air trying to escape out of the bottle as the wee was going in there was a bit of a blockage in the bottle neck and the old boy popped out mid flow, and he started spraying the dash, in the panic of trying to shut it off (yes you've got it) he ran straight into the car in front. trying to cover it up wasnt an option so I dont think he had any choice but to explain the whole thing to the person he'd hit, I can just picture him standing there with a massive whisky bottle with an inch of piss in the bottom of it, flies undone massive wetpatch and a seat and dashboard dripping wet, huge dent in the front of his car.... brings a smile to my face everytime.
Dec 17th 2007 | 6:39 pm
#14
Happy migrant
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,756
From: Newcastle , NSW
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
A couple of years ago i was stuck in a jam on the M5. I was absolutely desperate for a wee.
my son was still in nappies at the time so i thought it would be a good idea to wee in to one of his nappies.
unfortunately my bladder is bigger than the average 2 year olds and the nappy completely filled up then overflowed
I had to sit in wet knickers and jeans for two hours
my son was still in nappies at the time so i thought it would be a good idea to wee in to one of his nappies.
unfortunately my bladder is bigger than the average 2 year olds and the nappy completely filled up then overflowed
I had to sit in wet knickers and jeans for two hours
Dec 17th 2007 | 6:40 pm
#15
Thread Starter
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,138
From: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Re: Ever been Caught Short ?
Father worked down the pit many years ago. No ‘facilities’ deep down so used to have to take a sh#t down a disused tunnel . . . boiler suit down by the ankles, kecks lowered, squatting . . . proceeded to drop one inside his boiler suit unbeknown to him . . . boiler suit back on etc etc
Two’s – no. One’s – too many to mention. Here’s a couple.
At 18 I was walking home from town and me and 3 mates nipped down an alleyway to relieve ourselves. Mid-flow we were confronted by a copper who was not impressed. I thought we might be in big trouble. He asked our names and one mate said “Mickey Mouse†– my career flashed in front of me – never able to get a job because of a conviction for indecent exposure but the cop saw the funny side and sent us on our way with a flea in our ear and a half-full bladder (which we emptied 2 minutes later at the next alleyway).
About 5 years later I was out in Brum on the beers and facing a 45 minute train ride followed by a 25 minute walk home. I knew the only way it was possible was to use the loo on the train. But there was only one and it was out of order. I tried to hold it but was only half way when I realised there was no chance. It was the last train of the night so there was no option; I went down the back of the seat in front. 2 minutes later the guard walked down the train announcing there would be a 5 minute delay at Dorridge in case anyone was caught short. He must have seen the puddle on the floor but said nothing.
At 18 I was walking home from town and me and 3 mates nipped down an alleyway to relieve ourselves. Mid-flow we were confronted by a copper who was not impressed. I thought we might be in big trouble. He asked our names and one mate said “Mickey Mouse†– my career flashed in front of me – never able to get a job because of a conviction for indecent exposure but the cop saw the funny side and sent us on our way with a flea in our ear and a half-full bladder (which we emptied 2 minutes later at the next alleyway).
About 5 years later I was out in Brum on the beers and facing a 45 minute train ride followed by a 25 minute walk home. I knew the only way it was possible was to use the loo on the train. But there was only one and it was out of order. I tried to hold it but was only half way when I realised there was no chance. It was the last train of the night so there was no option; I went down the back of the seat in front. 2 minutes later the guard walked down the train announcing there would be a 5 minute delay at Dorridge in case anyone was caught short. He must have seen the puddle on the floor but said nothing.
I had a friend who was stuck in the car coming out of london, traffic crawling along at about 2mph, he was bursting but it wasnt practical to stop and go, he had one of those massive whisky bottles (empty) which he had been given by a supplier to give to his kids so they could collect change in it...
he had no choice but to utilise the bottle, got it all lined up between his legs so he could keep driving, got his todger in the hole and off he went, about 3 seconds in what was pure relief turned into the complete opposite, because of the slight swelling of the old boy as he was going and the air trying to escape out of the bottle as the wee was going in there was a bit of a blockage in the bottle neck and the old boy popped out mid flow, and he started spraying the dash, in the panic of trying to shut it off (yes you've got it) he ran straight into the car in front. trying to cover it up wasnt an option so I dont think he had any choice but to explain the whole thing to the person he'd hit, I can just picture him standing there with a massive whisky bottle with an inch of piss in the bottom of it, flies undone massive wetpatch and a seat and dashboard dripping wet, huge dent in the front of his car.... brings a smile to my face everytime.
he had no choice but to utilise the bottle, got it all lined up between his legs so he could keep driving, got his todger in the hole and off he went, about 3 seconds in what was pure relief turned into the complete opposite, because of the slight swelling of the old boy as he was going and the air trying to escape out of the bottle as the wee was going in there was a bit of a blockage in the bottle neck and the old boy popped out mid flow, and he started spraying the dash, in the panic of trying to shut it off (yes you've got it) he ran straight into the car in front. trying to cover it up wasnt an option so I dont think he had any choice but to explain the whole thing to the person he'd hit, I can just picture him standing there with a massive whisky bottle with an inch of piss in the bottom of it, flies undone massive wetpatch and a seat and dashboard dripping wet, huge dent in the front of his car.... brings a smile to my face everytime.
We should compile a book ! In time for next XMAS
