Etiquette time
Mar 17th 2006 | 4:48 pm
#16
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,642
From: Birkdale QLD
Re: Etiquette time
Originally Posted by iPom
OK, well we're due to leave in three weeks.
I know this woman and we used to be friends, but last year she got very stand offish, wouldn't let me have an opinion, would stick up for my husband if I told her we'd had an argument, and generally she won't stop talking long enough for me to have a conversation - although she's always been like that with the convo.
Anyway, my children haven't invited hers to their leaving bash because they are not 'special friends' ... so this woman asks husband yesterday whether she should be looking for invites or not. I thought this was very rude,.... I mean, if there's no invite, it should tell you something.
Anyway, today she rings me and suggests we get together for a drink and dinner before we go - her and her hub and me and mine. I have no interest in wasting my time with someone I don't like or vice versa. Should I tell her straight up or not?
It's not like I can keep saying we're busy, or not available as she knows we're leaving the country...
I don't like being hurtful to people but I need some way to get this woman straight that we have no relationship. She seems to think that by bombarding me with niceness I'm somehow going to want to spend time with her.
Help!
I know this woman and we used to be friends, but last year she got very stand offish, wouldn't let me have an opinion, would stick up for my husband if I told her we'd had an argument, and generally she won't stop talking long enough for me to have a conversation - although she's always been like that with the convo.
Anyway, my children haven't invited hers to their leaving bash because they are not 'special friends' ... so this woman asks husband yesterday whether she should be looking for invites or not. I thought this was very rude,.... I mean, if there's no invite, it should tell you something.
Anyway, today she rings me and suggests we get together for a drink and dinner before we go - her and her hub and me and mine. I have no interest in wasting my time with someone I don't like or vice versa. Should I tell her straight up or not?
It's not like I can keep saying we're busy, or not available as she knows we're leaving the country...
I don't like being hurtful to people but I need some way to get this woman straight that we have no relationship. She seems to think that by bombarding me with niceness I'm somehow going to want to spend time with her.
Help!
Perhaps you can look at it from your ex-friend's point of view, may be she was just being polite to ask for an opportunity to have dinner with you and your husband. May be she was hoping you would say no to the suggestion, but she just felt she had to ask anyway as you'll be leaving so soon?
If I were you, I would just invite her to the big going away do anyway - there will be lots of other people there so you don't have to pay her much attention. If this woman is as thick as you describe her to be, perhaps it won't even hurt her when you ignore her entirely at the farewell party.
Mrs JTL
Mar 18th 2006 | 1:58 am
#17
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,147
Re: Etiquette time
Originally Posted by iPom
I will use a little mix of everything to work out how to deal with her, but yes, I'll go down the 'too busy with friends and paperwork' route if she pushes.
Thanks for all the advice. It's been really helpful.
Thanks for all the advice. It's been really helpful.
tell her that, but on a day when you have to be somewhere by a certain time, ask her if she'd like to call round for a quick coffee - that way you arent snubbing her, but you can make it short and sweet.
and then if she starts angling for a holiday invite, THEN tell her to **** off!!!!!!
Mar 18th 2006 | 2:15 am
#18
Banned
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,551
Re: Etiquette time
Originally Posted by tiredwithtwins
tell her that, but on a day when you have to be somewhere by a certain time, ask her if she'd like to call round for a quick coffee - that way you arent snubbing her, but you can make it short and sweet.
and then if she starts angling for a holiday invite, THEN tell her to **** off!!!!!!
and then if she starts angling for a holiday invite, THEN tell her to **** off!!!!!!
Mar 18th 2006 | 2:22 am
#19
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,147
Re: Etiquette time
Originally Posted by kiwichild
If she asks for an address you can say you are unsure beyond your first week or so and give her the name of a hotel you are not staying at.
hehe.......sounds like giving a public phonebox number to a guy you met as a teenager and didnt like, but was too polite to refuse his offer of another date
Mar 18th 2006 | 2:28 am
#20
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 732
Re: Etiquette time
Originally Posted by tiredwithtwins
hehe.......sounds like giving a public phonebox number to a guy you met as a teenager and didnt like, but was too polite to refuse his offer of another date
Mar 18th 2006 | 2:41 am
#21
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 12,063
Re: Etiquette time
Originally Posted by tiredwithtwins
hehe.......sounds like giving a public phonebox number to a guy you met as a teenager and didnt like, but was too polite to refuse his offer of another date
Mar 18th 2006 | 2:54 am
#22
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,003
From: Melbourne's Inner North
Re: Etiquette time
re the kids party......... just tell her that you were limiting the numbers and as it was the kids last party you let them pick who they wanted....
and as for meeting up for a drink with them... as others have said you could just explain you're far too busy......
or you could suggest a time for a couple of days before you go and then cancel at last minute cos of soooo much to do. depends how upfront you want to be!!!! hehehe
and if she asks for email address or contact details.... either:
create a hotmail address and give her that.... as long as you create it you never have to check it and/or reply.... but if you give her an invalid email and she tests it before you leave you run the risk of her asking for another one!!
or take hers and lose them on a plane or in a foreign toilet or something!
all of the above (bar the kids stuff - i don't have any!) have always worked for me!!! ;-)
and as for meeting up for a drink with them... as others have said you could just explain you're far too busy......
or you could suggest a time for a couple of days before you go and then cancel at last minute cos of soooo much to do. depends how upfront you want to be!!!! hehehe
and if she asks for email address or contact details.... either:
create a hotmail address and give her that.... as long as you create it you never have to check it and/or reply.... but if you give her an invalid email and she tests it before you leave you run the risk of her asking for another one!!
or take hers and lose them on a plane or in a foreign toilet or something!
all of the above (bar the kids stuff - i don't have any!) have always worked for me!!! ;-)
