iPom

OK, well we're due to leave in three weeks.

I know this woman and we used to be friends, but last year she got very stand offish, wouldn't let me have an opinion, would stick up for my husband if I told her we'd had an argument, and generally she won't stop talking long enough for me to have a conversation - although she's always been like that with the convo.

Anyway, my children haven't invited hers to their leaving bash because they are not 'special friends' ... so this woman asks husband yesterday whether she should be looking for invites or not. I thought this was very rude,.... I mean, if there's no invite, it should tell you something.


Anyway, today she rings me and suggests we get together for a drink and dinner before we go - her and her hub and me and mine. I have no interest in wasting my time with someone I don't like or vice versa. Should I tell her straight up or not?
It's not like I can keep saying we're busy, or not available as she knows we're leaving the country...
I don't like being hurtful to people but I need some way to get this woman straight that we have no relationship. She seems to think that by bombarding me with niceness I'm somehow going to want to spend time with her.

Help!

kiwichild

Sometimes in life you just have to be more forward than you would at other times.

I'd say thank you for your interst but we are just too busy with family and close friends to have a general goodbye thingy with our aquaintances

very diplomatic but hits the spot

Hutch

It is tricky. She may not be who you're looking for in a friend, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's evil - the attention seeking may be down to the simple fact that she's lonely and thinks you'd make a good friend. I'd just decline the invitation saying you're too busy getting the house/shipping/kids etc sorted and try and fend her off, because in three weeks it won't matter.

oshel

Surely you are busy getting everything organised. It may not be nice to avoid her but if you don't want to suffer her, then keep saying you are busy and explaining what needs to be done before you move.

Clippy

Just keep putting her off with one thing or another. Sounds like she's hoping for a holiday in Oz

Unless she genuinely will miss you.

Pet

Be the nice person that you are. Life is too short to fill it with crap, and you will want to leave with nice memories. My opinion is just fob her off in the nicest way with busy, busy, busy with this that and the other (that you will be anyway) but if you have spare moment you will be sure to give her a ring and thank her for caring.

possoms

IMO be honest with her and tell her to fark off, that should do the trick

Jessica Rabbit

Just be honest with her and explain to her ehy you no longer want to be friends. It sounds to me like she wants to make it up to you so she can be at your fab party and have holidays in Oz with you The cheek of it
Good luck

Mctree

Maybe she's secretly thinking of moving to Oz herself, and wants to pick your brain?

Margaret2

Tell her to **** off, she sounds like a wierdo, also sounds like she's looking for a holiday to aus

Jessica Rabbit

Love the way you say it how it is, Dont mince your words. I will remeber to always come to you Margaret to be honest
Bless your little cottons
Julie x

ub40fan

Now recently there was someone on here who had had friends visit them, and really take the piss, dirty nappies on windowsills, not feeding their own kids etc etc.

They weren't very good friends with their visitors, and it was not a good experience.

Just think, would you like this woman to come and stay with you?, because as others have already said, I reckon she is angling for a cheap holiday.

Some friendships have a shelf life, andit sounds like this one is opast it's best before date!

Don't feel guilty, you don't need the extra hassle, or the grief that she gives you.

Just keep saying no, she will take the hint. Telling her you are too busy is not a lie, you have far more important things to do than catch up with someone who has not been a very good friend to you.

Shirley x

iPom

What you say about shelf life is very true, UB40. We used to be friendly when my son was small but I just outgrew her. I think the crunch point was at some book party for kids and some woman asked me about moving to Australia... And the 'friend' did my answering for me. I just wondered 'What the hell am I doing?'
It wasn't a friendship really - It was the 'Gemma show' and if you could get your voice heard above hers you were in with a chance.
Friendships work both ways and I was doing all the giving.

I like your answer Kiwi ... and everyone's in fact. I will use a little mix of everything to work out how to deal with her, but yes, I'll go down the 'too busy with friends and paperwork' route if she pushes.

Thanks for all the advice. It's been really helpful.

Wave the Sails

I wouldn't use the word 'busy' as it can sound as though you are 'too busy' to see her. Just say 'things are frantic at the moment, when I'm not up to my ears in paperwork I have family camping out on the doorstep as obviously they want to see us as much as possible before we go. It would have been so lovely to see you both but the time has just run away with us. I know you understand. I'll be in touch as soon as we get to Oz'. Then don't bother.

Then you have been polite but firm and it closes the door so to speak. Fobbing her off is unlikely to work!

moneypenny20

I've got (had) a friend like that. Six of us used to meet up for coffee or a meal out every couple of months. We were all planning my leaving meal and came up with a date. She said she couldn't make it as she had her book club that night

Last coffee we had everyone is trying to be really nice and give me good memories, she walked in with a list of what she wanted to discuss, every time someone said something about Aus, she changed the subject She then left without a good luck or anything.

Silly bitch.