julesandco

Hi Jo,

This thread really wasn't a dig at the BBQ crew

Would love to meet up for a drink soon - are you still up for the King's Park get together the weekend after next? Will post details on the other thread when I've seen what day will have better weather.

Jules x

Alan-

Why so aggressive ??

What's black catting ??

We don't seem to be talking about the same thing

All I'm saying is it good to have a friend or two that are genuinely happy for you, regardless of what you have. Maybe they could be glad for you that you were happy in your life as a tramp ??

What makes you think everyone seems to be saying what you have isn't good enough ??

Alan.

Wilgar

People who feel the need to show off their possessons/achievements etc do it becouse they feel insecure in themselves.
The rest of us should not lose sleep over it.People are people and we are all unique so if you don`t like the person you`re standing next to move on to find someone else.

If you don`t like them then its probably you with the problem!!!!!!!!

rabsody

sure, move on if you don't like someone ... but just because you don't like them doesn't mean you have a problem - what a strange way of looking at it. you can't get on with everyone.

ub40fan

Actually Alan, I am not being aggresssive, just putting a different point of view to yours!

Black catting is a Navy term I believe, that means if you have done it they have done it bigger and better than you could ever do.

And since when did I say everyone? Get the facts straight eh.

I think I am done replying to you because it seems as though you can't take on another person's point of view without them being aggressive, or likening them to a tramp for not having what you have

Goodbye

shazmac

I must say i have come across this as well i have been here for all most 2 years and have been to lots of meets and run a few myself
You make friends you see them for a while and boom they just go all funny on ya
Let them get on with it thats what i say

more and better fish in the sea as they say i just havent got the time to play any more

Can i just say i have a ten bedroom house with a spa, pool and a maid, and a cook what more can i ask for ha ha ha wish i have a 2 bedroom flat in north caulfied and love it to bits

Hutch

I think this boils down to the 'new school' syndrome. When you go to a new school or away to college, you get pally with anyone who'll talk to you, because you're desperate for a bit of friendship. But as the months wear on, you meet other people who are more your type - and you lose the other ones like a bad habit.

Emigrating's essentially the same thing - you're thrust into a new scene where you know no-one and to begin with you pal up with anyone and everyone. Sucks if you happen to be the people in that first group of friends - but hardly unusual human behaviour. I don't live somewhere with a massive expat population (thank ****) so it doesn't really affect me, but in those circumstances, I'd just let the newbies do all the running.

shazmac

I also think its down to finding out a persons true colours as they say
Some people can come across as nice for a while and change very fast when things dont go there way

I dont do any more running been there and done it not any more as you end up being the one that gets hurt worry about yourself thats my plan
I have a few good friends expats and australian i am going to be a bridesmaid next year for 1 of my friends so that will be nice

DONT LET PEOPLE CHEESE YOU OFF ENJOY YOUR LIFE YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE MAKE IT A DAM GOOD ONE AND YES I AM SHOUTING

Larissa

I dunno, people can be a bit flakey and let you down, I remember the days!
But give it time, eventually you'll find good mates you'll click with. Personally I rarely hang out with expats, I have more in common with my Aussie mates. Some poms are all up themselves with materialism etc. but there are plenty of other decent people out there. As for making arrangements which don't materialise, I think they probably have something else up their sleeves (hedging their bets until a better offer comes along) or just can't be bothered? Maybe they just aren't that into you (please don't be offended, their loss not yours!). I think I struggled with friendships in the beginning as I found it stressful, it takes time to feel settled and like you can really be yourself - we also used to find that I'd get on with the women but OH didn't with the men. There can be all kinds if reasons why people let you down. Just don't let it get to you.
Uh I just realised, emigrating is like dating on a huge scale. Man, I wouldn't want to do that again

The Crow

ABC at 20:30 tonight - The Human Mind: Making Friends (inc. how to tell whether you are getting on with someone) Could be amusing viewing or a load of horse****!

julesandco

I know what you mean - my idea of hell being single again and having to go through all that dating baloney!

We didn't have a huge circle of mates in the UK - it would just be cool to have a few 'good' mates on the same wavelength, or someone I could call to pick the kids up from school for me if I was running late.

It'll come. Although if I listen to you lot, it might be that I'm an anti-social, BO ridden, bad breathed bogan that alienates people

I'll gloss over that though and focus on the fact that I haven't met many people on my wavelengt - OK

Jules

P.S Thanks for all the advice and any offers of friendship would be greatly received (along with cheques and postal orders )

BadgeIsBack

Was going to say exactly the same thing - some of the people flocking to be mates might actually end up being the most insecure. Many of the people you knew in the first year of college or Uni might not be the people you are still in contact after.

As for ''small house'', or "'little house'', I'd have a little fun with them -either take a real interest in it, (flattery works wonders) or turn it into a joke. I find I can relate to most people somewhere- driven people, lazy people - its no odds to me. Rather than be jealous or angry, I'd laugh at the situation unless they're really bad in which you needn't feel concerned.

The other issue with this, to continue Hutch's analogy, is that alot of expats are not the new kids in the school -they've been here too many years - but still behave like they are. They can't shake the fact they are expats and I think that is one of the settlement issues. I've long forgotten I'm an expat sometimes. This is my life, this is my community. I occasionally find myself say at the firestation late planning wildfire ops with the senior staff and discussing the ins and out of the infrastruture, hearing who's got what and who's doing the other and really feel like I am part of it all, just like I did in another life, in another time elsewhere - except the backdrop has changed.

I know a family that have been here 12-15 years plus and they still wear their 'Expats' badges and we've noticed that they yearn to fit in with the Australian community but always gravitate back to Brits - but not for not trying - it's very obvious they are in turn fascinated and intrigued by our ''interesting'' Australian friends we have introduced them to, they continually ask after them - but you can't help but notice they haven't made that adjustment themselves. It's like "Hi, I'm Jane and I'm an expat. When we migrated...." It should be, "It's Jane" etc.

I find most expatty conversations quite cringeworthy at times and just remember they are people - ask where they are from, what they do, why they came yadda yadda then move on- but I never do this yak about the UK bizo.

There may be a case that you have nothing in common with any amount of other expats other than you were born in the same country so it's almost a non-brainer that you need to gel with people you like.

cheers

julesandco

Good advice Uncle Badge, but where should I go to meet like minded people?

BadgeIsBack

I think you can certainly put a human dimension to having nice things. It is fun to have a treat- to get that new second-hand ride on mower off a mate - his kids are riding it up the lane Saturday - boy.

I don't mind people treating themselves or being into gadgets especially if they've learnt how to use them, they've chosen it well, they've asked for advice, use it safely etc. As most of us play the consumer game - we can't all kill a cow for our evening meal - it's a natural thing to better ourselves.

eg Some of the fun of semi-rural living is learning to use a new plethora of tools and gear, the right tool at the right time etc and making new mates who tell you how to use them. But often you make up for this somwhat materialism bent with a reminder of where you are, the people, the countryside, the results.

I think most people who come over as materialistic and crap with it are probably just a void canvas elsewhere - and that is the real issue.

Margaret3

good thread this tis a funny ole world and thats for sure.

From my point of view i have met some lovely expats, some times i kinda felt people wanted to meet me coz i was the newbie in town, then i was dumped like a hot potato, guess i didn't live up to their expectations I understan people saying they have been hurt on here, i have been hurt by peole i really thought would be there for me and like i have said before, i dont want to live in anybody's pocket, but an odd txt wouldn't have went amiss.

I also agree with people who say it takes time to build friendships, it does take time to get to know people properly, when i meet people for the first couple of times am always on 'my best behaviour' watching my p's and q's, then after a few meets i think am my normal (if i can call myself that), self. It takes time to make history with them.

Also i would love to see alot more of some people than i have (sorry cas,sharon, but the bloody kids and work keep getting in the way , no seriously, i work longer and harder than i did in scotland and therfore am more knackered and i want to see my kids when i can, they need me so much just now

As for material stuff, we have just as little as we did in scotland, lol