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Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Old Sep 10th 2007, 2:35 pm
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Default Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I wondered if any of you had similar experiences?

Since we've been here, we've made a huge effort to make friends and settle. However *most* of the expats we've befriended (or tried to befriend) have been really flakey - by this I mean they say they'll turn up for something, then ten minutes before it's due to start they phone with a feeble excuse to cancel.

People seemed more concerned with 'what they've got' than they were in the UK. We know a family who were building two houses, one to live in whilst they built their 'proper' home and whenever you asked them how the house was coming along, they'd ask 'big house or little house?'. I just wanted to slap them!

Do you think it's the Brits that are overly concerned with what everyone's got - how big it is and how much it cost? The Aussies we've met don't seem to give a rats a*se!

Sorry - bit of a rant tonight. I'm just sick of people's attitudes at the moment. Everyone seems to be prepared to take but no-one wants to give!

Jules x

(P.S. In no way, shape or form does any of the above relate to the lovely lot who came to our last BBQ Honest )
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 2:47 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by julesandco View Post
I wondered if any of you had similar experiences?

Since we've been here, we've made a huge effort to make friends and settle. However *most* of the expats we've befriended (or tried to befriend) have been really flakey - by this I mean they say they'll turn up for something, then ten minutes before it's due to start they phone with a feeble excuse to cancel.

People seemed more concerned with 'what they've got' than they were in the UK. We know a family who were building two houses, one to live in whilst they built their 'proper' home and whenever you asked them how the house was coming along, they'd ask 'big house or little house?'. I just wanted to slap them!

Do you think it's the Brits that are overly concerned with what everyone's got - how big it is and how much it cost? The Aussies we've met don't seem to give a rats a*se!

Sorry - bit of a rant tonight. I'm just sick of people's attitudes at the moment. Everyone seems to be prepared to take but no-one wants to give!

Jules x

(P.S. In no way, shape or form does any of the above relate to the lovely lot who came to our last BBQ Honest )


Sticking my neck on the line here, but i think that this is the case with most of the british i have met (surrounded by them in the area we are now), and can only hope that when we move there are less of that particular type there, if so we will just ignore them!

We are also sick of the "keeping up with the jones" attitude and what they have all got. Don't people know that there are more important things to life than stuff?

It may just be me, but I find these people fustrating, predictable and boring to talk to after a while.

Keep trying though love, there should be some humans out there!
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 2:56 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Sheff_Sparky View Post
Sticking my neck on the line here, but i think that this is the case with most of the british i have met (surrounded by them in the area we are now), and can only hope that when we move there are less of that particular type there, if so we will just ignore them!

We are also sick of the "keeping up with the jones" attitude and what they have all got. Don't people know that there are more important things to life than stuff?

It may just be me, but I find these people fustrating, predictable and boring to talk to after a while.

Keep trying though love, there should be some humans out there!
Thanks! I know there were families like this in the UK too, but there just seems to be a very large percentage of people here who are the Harry Enfield 'considerably richer than EUOW....' type brigade.

I'm guilty of the green eyed monster about things occassionally - I just wish I could ignore it all and be less uptight about stuff!

It's the 'letting people down' thing as well. There's no-one here I can rely on to do anything they promise. People accept invitations and they're not seen again for dust.... like friendship is supposed to be a solely one-way street.

Until I bit the bullet and held the last BBQ, I seriously thought about not bothering anymore. I'm glad I did though as we've met some lovely people. I guess I'm saying that I never realised in the UK that making friends was so hard!

Jules x
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 2:57 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I have found that some people just want to be around when they have just moved here...take advantage of our experience (having been here a while) and seems to enjoy the times you meet up, and then they don't bother to get in touch again once they have made friends of their own - maybe people who have some link...... as if you can't have more than one friend

I don't mind helping people, but I don't like being used....so it's sort of put me off meeting new expats now...
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:02 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Interesting.... Could be folk trying to confirm, in their own minds, that they have indeed moved to a better life. Any psycologists out there?

Mat

PS. This was written on a really fast, small, very expensive, top of the range, better than yours, multieverything laptop.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:03 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Jules, it's not just the expat community that are like this. We had people over for a barbie a couple of weeks ago and our kids got on like a house on fire with the kids of one of the couples. We mentioned that we were going fishing the next morning so the other couple said they would love to join us if it was ok. We said sure and made plans to meet at a certain place at a certain time before we headed to the water. We showed up and waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, 45 minutes after they were supposed to arrive my OH rang them to find they didn't answer their home phone and his mobile was turned off. No excuse, no phone call, nothing!
I've also found a lot of people say they'll call/visit/drop in for a drink or coffee and then you never hear from them. Well, at least now I know it's not just me.
The "keeping up with the Jonses" thing I don't really notice. The vast majority of people I've met, especially through BE or other forums, are because I have gotten to know them a little in advance.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:03 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by walkermat View Post
PS. This was written on a really fast, small, very expensive, top of the range, better than yours, multieverything laptop.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:07 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Weirdstone View Post
I have found that some people just want to be around when they have just moved here...take advantage of our experience (having been here a while) and seems to enjoy the times you meet up, and then they don't bother to get in touch again once they have made friends of their own - maybe people who have some link...... as if you can't have more than one friend

I don't mind helping people, but I don't like being used....so it's sort of put me off meeting new expats now...
I think you're right Cas. Maybe it is the 'survivors clinging to a familiar log' kind of thing. But I have been sh*t on by quite a few families that we have bent over backwards to help and it starts to wear a little thin.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:08 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I always have room for more friends

I am at that stage of life where things are things, nice but not important .

I like beautiful things but I don't need to own them.

However I'm pleased for friends who are doing well and have what they want,

I would rather spend the day with good friends having a laugh and a joke than admiring my posessions

If you make a commitment you should stick by it except in case of a genuine disaster!
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:09 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
Jules, it's not just the expat community that are like this. We had people over for a barbie a couple of weeks ago and our kids got on like a house on fire with the kids of one of the couples. We mentioned that we were going fishing the next morning so the other couple said they would love to join us if it was ok. We said sure and made plans to meet at a certain place at a certain time before we headed to the water. We showed up and waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, 45 minutes after they were supposed to arrive my OH rang them to find they didn't answer their home phone and his mobile was turned off. No excuse, no phone call, nothing!
I've also found a lot of people say they'll call/visit/drop in for a drink or coffee and then you never hear from them. Well, at least now I know it's not just me.
The "keeping up with the Jonses" thing I don't really notice. The vast majority of people I've met, especially through BE or other forums, are because I have gotten to know them a little in advance.
Doesn't that really hiss you off? It's just common courtesy and manners! It's not really an Aussie vs Pom thing - just an observation.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:13 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by asher View Post
I always have room for more friends
Me too! The more people I can bump into round the supermarket and chat to, the better.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:13 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by julesandco View Post
Doesn't that really hiss you off? It's just common courtesy and manners! It's not really an Aussie vs Pom thing - just an observation.
It does. I'm always putting myself out there, extending invitations to people and then being flipped off. Doesn't matter about the Aussie/Pom thing. I'm neither.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:16 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
It does. I'm always putting myself out there, extending invitations to people and then being flipped off. Doesn't matter about the Aussie/Pom thing. I'm neither.
No, you're even worse
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:18 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
It does. I'm always putting myself out there, extending invitations to people and then being flipped off. Doesn't matter about the Aussie/Pom thing. I'm neither.
I did too ...but really can't be bothered with it now.
I have my own life and friends here, and don't need to put it out for new people who just drop you like a stone.
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Old Sep 10th 2007, 3:20 pm
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Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Didn't really hit it off with the only other Brit I know that lives in my town. Nice enough bloke, but not a lot of common ground between us .. beyond the fact that we were both from the UK, so I left it at that. Don't know if that constitutes flakey behaviour, but I do know where you're coming from Jules. With regard the 'keeping up with the Joneses' mentality ... it does go on, but not in nearly as obsessive as a fashion as in the UK.
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