Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Australia > The Barbie
Reload this Page >

Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Old Sep 12th 2007, 4:14 pm
  #106  
Thread Starter
 
julesandco's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Secret Harbour, WA
Posts: 1,496
julesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by jo andy + 2 View Post
Hi all,
hey jules, im always up 4 a coffee (prefer beer tho..lol) had a good laugh at ur bbq. let me know when the next coffee meet is....i will turn up....promise...
Jo
Hi Jo,

This thread really wasn't a dig at the BBQ crew

Would love to meet up for a drink soon - are you still up for the King's Park get together the weekend after next? Will post details on the other thread when I've seen what day will have better weather.

Jules x
julesandco is offline  
Old Sep 12th 2007, 4:19 pm
  #107  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Paradise Point. Gold Coast.
Posts: 218
Alan- will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by ub40fan View Post
So I should just smile politely at the person telling me that what I have isn't good enough and that the things they have are better.


Why should it be me who has the problem and not the person continually bragging and black catting?

Sorry but friends like that I can do without thanks. They don't want friends, they want admirers and yes men, and that is one thing I am not.
Why so aggressive ??

What's black catting ??

We don't seem to be talking about the same thing

All I'm saying is it good to have a friend or two that are genuinely happy for you, regardless of what you have. Maybe they could be glad for you that you were happy in your life as a tramp ??

What makes you think everyone seems to be saying what you have isn't good enough ??

Alan.
Alan- is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 1:10 am
  #108  
BE Forum Addict
 
Wilgar's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Upper North Shore,NSW
Posts: 1,100
Wilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud ofWilgar has much to be proud of
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

People who feel the need to show off their possessons/achievements etc do it becouse they feel insecure in themselves.
The rest of us should not lose sleep over it.People are people and we are all unique so if you don`t like the person you`re standing next to move on to find someone else.

If you don`t like them then its probably you with the problem!!!!!!!!
Wilgar is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 3:47 am
  #109  
BE Forum Addict
 
rabsody's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 3,521
rabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Wilgar View Post
If you don`t like them then its probably you with the problem!!!!!!!!
sure, move on if you don't like someone ... but just because you don't like them doesn't mean you have a problem - what a strange way of looking at it. you can't get on with everyone.
rabsody is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 7:40 am
  #110  
Where I want to be
 
ub40fan's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
ub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond reputeub40fan has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Alan- View Post
Why so aggressive ??

What's black catting ??

We don't seem to be talking about the same thing

All I'm saying is it good to have a friend or two that are genuinely happy for you, regardless of what you have. Maybe they could be glad for you that you were happy in your life as a tramp ??

What makes you think everyone seems to be saying what you have isn't good enough ??

Alan.
Actually Alan, I am not being aggresssive, just putting a different point of view to yours!

Black catting is a Navy term I believe, that means if you have done it they have done it bigger and better than you could ever do.

And since when did I say everyone? Get the facts straight eh.

I think I am done replying to you because it seems as though you can't take on another person's point of view without them being aggressive, or likening them to a tramp for not having what you have

Goodbye

Last edited by ub40fan; Sep 13th 2007 at 8:40 am.
ub40fan is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 8:02 am
  #111  
disability worker
 
shazmac's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: north caulfield Melbourne
Posts: 679
shazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I must say i have come across this as well i have been here for all most 2 years and have been to lots of meets and run a few myself
You make friends you see them for a while and boom they just go all funny on ya
Let them get on with it thats what i say

more and better fish in the sea as they say i just havent got the time to play any more

Can i just say i have a ten bedroom house with a spa, pool and a maid, and a cook what more can i ask for ha ha ha wish i have a 2 bedroom flat in north caulfied and love it to bits
shazmac is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 8:44 am
  #112  
Australia's Doorman
 
Hutch's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,052
Hutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond reputeHutch has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I think this boils down to the 'new school' syndrome. When you go to a new school or away to college, you get pally with anyone who'll talk to you, because you're desperate for a bit of friendship. But as the months wear on, you meet other people who are more your type - and you lose the other ones like a bad habit.

Emigrating's essentially the same thing - you're thrust into a new scene where you know no-one and to begin with you pal up with anyone and everyone. Sucks if you happen to be the people in that first group of friends - but hardly unusual human behaviour. I don't live somewhere with a massive expat population (thank ****) so it doesn't really affect me, but in those circumstances, I'd just let the newbies do all the running.
Hutch is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 8:59 am
  #113  
disability worker
 
shazmac's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: north caulfield Melbourne
Posts: 679
shazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond reputeshazmac has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I also think its down to finding out a persons true colours as they say
Some people can come across as nice for a while and change very fast when things dont go there way

I dont do any more running been there and done it not any more as you end up being the one that gets hurt worry about yourself thats my plan
I have a few good friends expats and australian i am going to be a bridesmaid next year for 1 of my friends so that will be nice

DONT LET PEOPLE CHEESE YOU OFF ENJOY YOUR LIFE YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE MAKE IT A DAM GOOD ONE AND YES I AM SHOUTING
shazmac is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 9:50 am
  #114  
BE Forum Addict
 
Larissa's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
Larissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond reputeLarissa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

I dunno, people can be a bit flakey and let you down, I remember the days!
But give it time, eventually you'll find good mates you'll click with. Personally I rarely hang out with expats, I have more in common with my Aussie mates. Some poms are all up themselves with materialism etc. but there are plenty of other decent people out there. As for making arrangements which don't materialise, I think they probably have something else up their sleeves (hedging their bets until a better offer comes along) or just can't be bothered? Maybe they just aren't that into you (please don't be offended, their loss not yours!). I think I struggled with friendships in the beginning as I found it stressful, it takes time to feel settled and like you can really be yourself - we also used to find that I'd get on with the women but OH didn't with the men. There can be all kinds if reasons why people let you down. Just don't let it get to you.
Uh I just realised, emigrating is like dating on a huge scale. Man, I wouldn't want to do that again

Last edited by Larissa; Sep 13th 2007 at 9:52 am. Reason: dodgy spellings
Larissa is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 11:18 am
  #115  
BE Forum Addict
 
The Crow's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: On the edge of the Dandenongs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,387
The Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond reputeThe Crow has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

ABC at 20:30 tonight - The Human Mind: Making Friends (inc. how to tell whether you are getting on with someone) Could be amusing viewing or a load of horse****!
The Crow is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 11:54 am
  #116  
Thread Starter
 
julesandco's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Secret Harbour, WA
Posts: 1,496
julesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Larissa View Post
I dunno, people can be a bit flakey and let you down, I remember the days!
But give it time, eventually you'll find good mates you'll click with. Personally I rarely hang out with expats, I have more in common with my Aussie mates. Some poms are all up themselves with materialism etc. but there are plenty of other decent people out there. As for making arrangements which don't materialise, I think they probably have something else up their sleeves (hedging their bets until a better offer comes along) or just can't be bothered? Maybe they just aren't that into you (please don't be offended, their loss not yours!). I think I struggled with friendships in the beginning as I found it stressful, it takes time to feel settled and like you can really be yourself - we also used to find that I'd get on with the women but OH didn't with the men. There can be all kinds if reasons why people let you down. Just don't let it get to you.
Uh I just realised, emigrating is like dating on a huge scale. Man, I wouldn't want to do that again
I know what you mean - my idea of hell being single again and having to go through all that dating baloney!

We didn't have a huge circle of mates in the UK - it would just be cool to have a few 'good' mates on the same wavelength, or someone I could call to pick the kids up from school for me if I was running late.

It'll come. Although if I listen to you lot, it might be that I'm an anti-social, BO ridden, bad breathed bogan that alienates people

I'll gloss over that though and focus on the fact that I haven't met many people on my wavelengt - OK

Jules

P.S Thanks for all the advice and any offers of friendship would be greatly received (along with cheques and postal orders )
julesandco is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 11:57 am
  #117  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Hill overlooking the SE Melbourne suburbs
Posts: 16,603
BadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Hutch View Post
I think this boils down to the 'new school' syndrome. When you go to a new school or away to college, you get pally with anyone who'll talk to you, because you're desperate for a bit of friendship. But as the months wear on, you meet other people who are more your type - and you lose the other ones like a bad habit.

Emigrating's essentially the same thing - you're thrust into a new scene where you know no-one and to begin with you pal up with anyone and everyone. Sucks if you happen to be the people in that first group of friends - but hardly unusual human behaviour. I don't live somewhere with a massive expat population (thank ****) so it doesn't really affect me, but in those circumstances, I'd just let the newbies do all the running.
Was going to say exactly the same thing - some of the people flocking to be mates might actually end up being the most insecure. Many of the people you knew in the first year of college or Uni might not be the people you are still in contact after.

As for ''small house'', or "'little house'', I'd have a little fun with them -either take a real interest in it, (flattery works wonders) or turn it into a joke. I find I can relate to most people somewhere- driven people, lazy people - its no odds to me. Rather than be jealous or angry, I'd laugh at the situation unless they're really bad in which you needn't feel concerned.

The other issue with this, to continue Hutch's analogy, is that alot of expats are not the new kids in the school -they've been here too many years - but still behave like they are. They can't shake the fact they are expats and I think that is one of the settlement issues. I've long forgotten I'm an expat sometimes. This is my life, this is my community. I occasionally find myself say at the firestation late planning wildfire ops with the senior staff and discussing the ins and out of the infrastruture, hearing who's got what and who's doing the other and really feel like I am part of it all, just like I did in another life, in another time elsewhere - except the backdrop has changed.

I know a family that have been here 12-15 years plus and they still wear their 'Expats' badges and we've noticed that they yearn to fit in with the Australian community but always gravitate back to Brits - but not for not trying - it's very obvious they are in turn fascinated and intrigued by our ''interesting'' Australian friends we have introduced them to, they continually ask after them - but you can't help but notice they haven't made that adjustment themselves. It's like "Hi, I'm Jane and I'm an expat. When we migrated...." It should be, "It's Jane" etc.

I find most expatty conversations quite cringeworthy at times and just remember they are people - ask where they are from, what they do, why they came yadda yadda then move on- but I never do this yak about the UK bizo.

There may be a case that you have nothing in common with any amount of other expats other than you were born in the same country so it's almost a non-brainer that you need to gel with people you like.

cheers
BadgeIsBack is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 12:03 pm
  #118  
Thread Starter
 
julesandco's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Secret Harbour, WA
Posts: 1,496
julesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond reputejulesandco has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack View Post

There may be a case that you have nothing in common with any amount of other expats other than you were born in the same country so it's almost a non-brainer that you need to gel with people you like.
Good advice Uncle Badge, but where should I go to meet like minded people?
julesandco is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 12:11 pm
  #119  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Hill overlooking the SE Melbourne suburbs
Posts: 16,603
BadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond reputeBadgeIsBack has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

Originally Posted by Alan- View Post
About the having this and that thing......

I would imagine that we all prefer nice things, to knackered things, regardless of cost, but If I have something nice, I really appreciate someone who is "genuinely" happy for me.......few and far between ???

Alan.
I think you can certainly put a human dimension to having nice things. It is fun to have a treat- to get that new second-hand ride on mower off a mate - his kids are riding it up the lane Saturday - boy.

I don't mind people treating themselves or being into gadgets especially if they've learnt how to use them, they've chosen it well, they've asked for advice, use it safely etc. As most of us play the consumer game - we can't all kill a cow for our evening meal - it's a natural thing to better ourselves.

eg Some of the fun of semi-rural living is learning to use a new plethora of tools and gear, the right tool at the right time etc and making new mates who tell you how to use them. But often you make up for this somwhat materialism bent with a reminder of where you are, the people, the countryside, the results.

I think most people who come over as materialistic and crap with it are probably just a void canvas elsewhere - and that is the real issue.
BadgeIsBack is offline  
Old Sep 13th 2007, 12:12 pm
  #120  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,374
Margaret3 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Do you find people 'flakey' here?

good thread this tis a funny ole world and thats for sure.

From my point of view i have met some lovely expats, some times i kinda felt people wanted to meet me coz i was the newbie in town, then i was dumped like a hot potato, guess i didn't live up to their expectations I understan people saying they have been hurt on here, i have been hurt by peole i really thought would be there for me and like i have said before, i dont want to live in anybody's pocket, but an odd txt wouldn't have went amiss.

I also agree with people who say it takes time to build friendships, it does take time to get to know people properly, when i meet people for the first couple of times am always on 'my best behaviour' watching my p's and q's, then after a few meets i think am my normal (if i can call myself that), self. It takes time to make history with them.

Also i would love to see alot more of some people than i have (sorry cas,sharon, but the bloody kids and work keep getting in the way , no seriously, i work longer and harder than i did in scotland and therfore am more knackered and i want to see my kids when i can, they need me so much just now

As for material stuff, we have just as little as we did in scotland, lol

Last edited by Margaret3; Sep 13th 2007 at 12:15 pm.
Margaret3 is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.