Turban Explorer

Mr TE and I separated earlier this year. The assets in the relationship are all mine and I did, out of sympathy and goodwill, offer him a sum of money and a year living on my boat in Mackay to sort himself out. I saw my solicitor in the UK and he was of the opinion I wasn't legally obliged to give him anything as he signed a letter of intent that he wouldn't lay claim to any of my assets should we split up. Due to his actions lately I'd like to renege on my offer as I'm slowly realising he was cheating on me whilst I was away and I no longer feel any goodwill towards him.

I have sent emails confirming the sum of money I was prepared to separate with and wonder whether these have any legal standing - like a breach of promise? Does anybody know? I'd like to walk away and give him the middle finger.

rasen78

No help with that I'm afraid TE, just wanted to send you some good wishes and what an @rsehole. It's good to 'see' you back here too

brissybee

Seems you are equal on the written promises... his letter of intent, your emails.

Can't say what the legal situation is but if he's asset free it might prove costly for him to fight you for what is yours.

I'd give him the finger anyway and walk away. Let him pay for any stoush. Who knows, maybe he's already got another "provider" in tow and he'll leave you alone.

All the very best. It must have been a nasty shock.

carolinephillips

If you are divorcing under Aussie law he is entitled to something according to need, whether you agreed to it or not. If he has no assets of his own you will have to support him.

(Making my will and it was one of the scare stories the solicitor told us!)

Turban Explorer

He has a job. He can support himself. Under English law I know I don't have to give him anything. Can I divorce under English law as we got married in England?

GarryP

I am not a lawyer (I've never sunk to those depths thankfully), but if you have nothing in writing that says the money and loan of the boat were temporary then he can probably make the case that both were part of a verbal settlement ("take the money and the boat and go away"). Prenups are always a dodgy area under English law, with many ways the can be nullified and declared overridden.

Think of it the other way round - there are countless stories of men getting screwed over, despite supposed agreements and understandings - even if they owned/made most of the assets. Even though the law is horribly sexist, you shouldn't expect it to be.

As for the lawyer in the UK saying he doesn't see why the husband would be entitled to anything - sounds like someone trying to win work to me, since when have divorces ever ended up like that?

knockoff nige

Apologies for taking this a tad off topic but, why did you have a prenuptual agreement? Makes sense now considering it didnt work out, but what was your reasoning ahead of getting married?

Turban Explorer

I have money and he doesn't......

knockoff nige

That's fair enough I guess. But does that not suggest that there were doubts on it working out?

Tell me to mind my own business if you wish.

Dorothy

I think you should be speaking to an Australian solicitor, not a UK one. You're going to be divorcing under Australian law (unless you go back to England and file there), so should not be relying on what a solicitor from another country tells you about the law.

Turban Explorer

I think everyone protects themselves nowadays don't they? Pre-nups are old news.....we don't have kids, he left me for another woman and the assets were all mine prior to our relationship. He has a job. I don't see why I should pay out.

Zen10

My cousin had a pre-nup because she had property and her fiancé had zilch, and I think they're more common than people realise. As it happens it all worked out and now they have a child and are happy but if it had gone wrong...

knockoff nige

I don't see why you should pay either. Just trying to get my head around getting married when there is that element of doubt. I'm not married though.

rasen78

TBH I didn't think pre-nups were recognised in the UK. My understanding is that division of assets is based on who put what into the marriage, not who had what prior to the marriage. Longevity, raising children are taken into account, who was at fault (ie infidelity).

Probably completely wrong though and as neither me nor him had or have anything, it's moot where we are concerned

If it's possible TE, would it be worth looking into the divorce laws in both countries then filing for divorce in which ever country it benefits you?

Pollyana

TBH I would have a look into divorcing in the UK rather than Aus. I did look at it myself and I think you can do it from Aus (though that was a few years back). From memory, if you divorce here he is entitled to half of everything, including your super, regardless of your wishes.
One thing I was advised by a solicitor too - get a signed declaration at the end to say he waives ALL future claims on your estate. otherwise he can come back in 20 years time apparently and claim half of an inheritance you got since the divorce