Re: Depression / anxiety
 

SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is a type of depression that is relieved by sunshine- one of my reasons for coming here. Not that the sun shone very much last summer! I also had great anxiety and a loathing of change and OH was suprised I said "yes" to the move, but it was just the break I needed. I'm glad I made the move.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

Yes.
But I thought SAD was more about light than sun.
I am glad you said yes to improving your life though.
Please don't think me patronising when I say .Well done to you.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

Depression hadn't really darkened my door till 2006 when I had major changes in my life. Promotion, moving and buying a new house. All positive but impacted greatly.
It struck again this year after me starting a new relationship (two years ago...after being single for most of my adult life), becoming a first time father at 48, selling my house and buying a new one, having a cataract operation and becoming part of a family with two step children (all this happened last year). Again, many positives but the effects of all that change drove me under a year later. This impacted with stress at work making me feel like a Jack of all trades master of none, I ended up having stress leave and I am currently on a return to work program with gradually increasing hours and duties (though I could quite easily walk away from the job right now).
It is amazing that even positive situations can impact negatively.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

How do you help a teen who has had to comfort a friend? The friend's overseas friend finally managed to commit suicide- had tried before, and DD's friend is very upset. This has had a knock on effect on DD. I have sat with DD and hugged her, but don't know what else to do. She is very flat this morning.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

:( Sorry about your daughter's sadness. I would suggest she see a good counsellor (or even yourself?) to talk through her feelings. And maybe speak with the friends parent/s to suggest/check that their daughter does the same. Other than that, do exactly what you are doing now. I hope her pain eases soon.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

She did tell me what was happening, but hasn't said anything else.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

Perhaps tell her it's one of the most difficult things about growing up. Maybe she could express her feelings in a letter for her friend, then the friend will have something to keep. Ask how much she knows about depression so she might be able to help somebody else, now she knows how bad it can be.

Just be there.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

An interesting article towards understanding mental illness, particularly for those who are helping others in their long term recovery:

People can recover from mental illness

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

That's hard.
There is help out there though.
I can try to find you some help off forum if that's what you would like but couldn't reach out to anyone before Monday

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

Seriously miserable today.

FB pic of dad posted by sister and being reminded that my brother and sister were there for him when he died and I wasn't.:(

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

That's nonsense and you know it. He knew you were there for him, have no doubt about it. Your head tells you you let him down, you didn't so stop it.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

The thing is, dad didn't know I was there for him. As I was told by my sister, he didn't know who I was at all by the end: end stage dementia caused by prostate cancer spreading to the brain and spine.

But I don't feel guilty that I couldn't be there, I feel more angry that my sister is now trying to make me feel bad about it: she is playing the martyr.
I do feel guilty that I can't help her, and that whatever I say is wrong, so I've had to block communication with her. She needs psychiatric help to get over dad's death, but she doesn't really want to move on.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

Ok... There is a school of thought that goes something along the lines "no one can make you feel something" so your sister isn't making you feel guilty, but what she is doing is bringing out your own feelings of guilt.

The only way to deal with this is resolve your own feelings....

Part of this is recognizing her behavior (she is in martyr mode), and being very objective about it being her behavior ... then not letting it impact on you....

Own what you feel and give ownership to her behavior to her.

Re: Depression / anxiety
 

I think, well done you. You have to identify when you are being manipulated and by whom, for what and why.

Removing that manipulation is one less weight to carry.