northernbird

Curious. A debate has occurred on another site about unaccompanied minors on planes. Many of the parents of younger kids are saying they would never let their kids fly alone until they were adults. One parent even mentioned her 19 year old had a meltdown in KL whilst travelling alone as she couldn't make her way to the connecting flight.

Are we breeding our kids to be a bunch of namby pampy adults. Are we giving them the life skills to be able to do things without us parents and enabling them to be resilient young people.

carolinephillips

Too much helicopter parenting???

Mind you, I'd be very nervous travelling alone now, even though I used to travel unaccompanied on flights as a kid, being shuffled between Germany and the UK. (Wildenrath to Eastleigh airport.)

Pollyana

Weird isn't it, some of my friends are amazed that my niece travelled up from Bristol to London on her own last year - aged 16. One train all the way and I met her at the end. She goes off with her mate for girlie weekends at Butlins too.
I've noticed a lot of people who post on here about kids finishing GCSEs before migrating too. I was in lodgings for my last three years at school, virtually self-sufficient cos that was the only way to stay at that school and pass my exams. All my own decision, yet many on here won't even consider letting their older teenage kids stay with family members.

Dreamy

When we lived in York, I used to throw my three on the train and let their grandparents collect them at the other end, they probably did that from the youngest being 10 or so (so the eldest would have been about 13)

Admittedly, it was a straight through train, no connections required, but they did have to cope with a couple of incidents which they managed just fine. I was also one of those terrible mothers who used to make her children walk ALL the way to junior school! Alone! (Well, together, but without me)

I've always figured that if I managed to do something at that age, then at least one of the kids can manage to do it at the same age (depending upon the child in question)

I just wish they'd take the hint that I left home at 19!

Kim67

I know heaps of kids that travel as unaccompanied minors and I used to do it all the time as a kid. I however probably wouldn't let my kids fly alone until they're in their mid to late teens. And it has nothing to do with not trusting my kids or others, it has to do with my fear of flying and if that plane went down that my child would be on it's own - I would want to be there to hold them all the way to the ground. I have a friend who's teenage sister died on a international flight (well known South African air disaster) and it haunts their whole family - not knowing what she went through in her final hours.

As for boarding school, wouldn't send my kids off to one. I wouldn't move overseas with a child in high school, when you have kids, their lives come before any needs that you have until they're out there able to make it on their own. My eldest wants to go to a Uni in another state, we have family there, but I wouldn't rule out moving there to be with her if that eventuates.

I think some parents are beyond ridiculous with their helicopter parenting but I think we're a lot more protective than our parents were and for sometimes good reason. As I've said on here before, there's not the sense of community in our cities and towns that there was when we were growing up, and people just don't seem to care for each other the way they used to.

Dreamy

You would seriously consider moving to another state to hold your 18 year old's hand at Uni?

Kim67

It's my home state and it wouldn't be to hold her hand - there are some opportunities that would benefit all the family, including grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Jon77

I think many 16 - 20 year olds at Uni aren't living in the real world and are spoilt beyond saving.

They finish school after having their parents do just about everything for them, and generally automatically move on to the HSC, even if they **** up the HSC University is just about a certainty these days. There are so many youngesters that just shouldn't be in University.

And what you end up with is graduates not ready for the work place and with minimal skills. Employers are really frustrated having to pick through the number of graduates to get to the best few.

16 - 20 year olds also have the attention span of a gold fish and when in Australia they are dreaming about working for the United Nations in America or some high flying organisation in Canada or Europe. When they are overseas they are dreaming about being back in Australia or Asia. Very few want to work their way up from the bottom.

We are looking at a generation that is addicted to facebook rather than hard graft. They are a generation that has been brought up with fudged exam results because no students are allowed to fail these days. They are the product of the last 20 years of economic wealthin Sydney I guess. Trendy uber teenagers living in trendy suburbs putting the word 'like' in just about ever sentence ' I was so 'like' over it...' and spending mummy and daddy money.

Mr Grumpy

I'm more worried about the intentional destruction of masculinity.

Boys are no longer allowed to climb trees, have sword fights or even a bit of a punch up anymore.

My nephew was also told when making a presentation not too have his voice sound so 'deep' as the teacher viewed it as aggressive.

Quite frankly a lot of women are to blame for the state of society.

Kim67

My kids were swinging from a tree at New Farm Park the other week (they're all set up for climbing) and people walked past tutting and carrying on about the "poor tree"!

Jon77

As the father of a 5 year old boy some VERY good points there, although I don't think the majority of women are to blame.

There is not one male teacher wheremy son goes to school, all women and the boys have to fall in line with the female teaching methods that will allow girls to excel and allow boys to fall behind.

20 years from now women will be as frustrated as hell as they will have achieved what they want, they will have domination in every sector and every level. But it will be lonely at the top as there will be a generation of males that just don't give a **** and switched off years ago.

There will be a price to pay for leaving boys behind.

Swerv-o

Ugh, this is exactly what I have noticed - Very few kids actually leave home to go to University here - and as a result miss out on some of the most important lessons that there are - learning to cope on your own.

I've seen this with some of the folk that I used to work with - Born and raised in Sydney, and lived here their entire lives, primary school, high school and then uni, all in the same place.

They are still living with their parents now they into their 30s, and still hanging around with the same people they went to bloody primary school with! I don't think I am even in contact with anybody I was at primary school with!

When I went to uni, the objective was to move as far away from home as you could - seems completely the opposite way around here - Stay bludging off of your parents for as long as possible...


S

rasen78

There are various reasons why, in general, we are more cautious with allowing our children the 'freedom' we had and our parents had.

A major factor, IMO, is the instant media we have now. We no longer wait hours, days or even weeks for news, we get it instantly. And we are saturated with it.

30 years ago, if a child went missing, you may have heard about it, in the local area a couple of hours later, generally by word of mouth. A few hours later it may have appeared on the local news bulletin, then perhaps on the national 6 O'clock news. Many people's source of 'current' news were the headlines in the next day's papers.

Now, if something happens, we hear about it pretty much straight away, and get a constant running commentary, instant reactions etc. It seems that there is constantly something about awful things happening to our children and this in turn makes us think it happens more frequently than it actually does. These things have always happened unfortunately. It is just that now, we know about more of them and more quickly too. In some ways this is good as it leads to a speedy and happy resolution, but it does also make people more cautious and suspicious, which in turn leads to a breakdown in community.

Another factor, again IMO, is that there are basically so many more of us than there were!! More and faster vehicles on the roads, more roads, more people etc. The risks are therefore greater so in response to that, we become more cautious.

EG. In the early 90's I could drive a 12 mile stretch of road in Lincolnshire from my parent's home to Boston in about 20 minutes, including parking. That same journey now, takes about 40 minutes, because of the increase in cars on the road. I would barely see any other cars until I got to the outer part of Boston, whereas now it is almost nose to tail.

We aim for a balance with our 2. We try to encourage their adventurous side and also some independence. But it is hard finding that balance. People are quick to judge. A child climbing a tree or playing out front is being a child, being adventurous, creative etc. But to someone else, the parent may be neglectful in letting a child come to potential harm, or being noisy etc.

The boundaries for what is acceptable for our children are constantly changing and not always for the better.

GarryP

Actually I would kind of agree, but indirectly, in not quite the aggressive tone you took (sic).

Mothers seek to keep kids 'protected' - which means dependent. Rather than let them roam, get into scrapes, fail, they isolate them from the world and character building experiences. That was also somewhat true in the past, but the lack of male role models to put down their foot and say no, it gets into a oneupmanship contest between mothers as to who can be 'the better mother'.

Same is true in schools, where the significant lack of male teachers, at all ages, tips the entire culture of the school 'female'. Again, this means getting into scrapes become heinous crimes and nobody is allowed to fail.

Finally, its been a trend over decades to not expect society to behave in a 'take no shit' competitive male fashion; but instead to expect 'respectful', 'cooperative', etc. Look at what happens to aussie rules players who take advantage of the opportunities they have and have a good time - they are expected to 'apologise for being bad role models', rather than doing what they should do (which is to say "screw you, you don't tell me what to do").

When these precious little darlings hit the world of business, which is where male behaviours still manage to rule the roost, they get massive culture shock. Those that had some male guidance in growing up end up at a major advantage.

As to the eventual fallout, well if society turns its ire on male behaviour, eventually male behaviour will kick back. Look at the MENA revolutions, wars, terrorism, etc. - young men with no future, nothing to look forward to, striking out. You need an outlet, and you need to value male behaviours outside the sphere of violence - otherwise...

rasen78

And look at the bloody mess you men have got us into eh?