Cricket Jokes
Aug 17th 2013 | 9:33 am
#1
Thread Starter
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 277
From: Kincumber, Central Coast
Cricket Jokes
How about a thread on the current cricket campaign, one to start
Q. What's the height of optimism?
A. An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
Any more out there?
Q. What's the height of optimism?
A. An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
Any more out there?
Aug 17th 2013 | 9:43 am
#2
Concierge
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 29,804
From: ex ex-pat, in Taunton
Re: Cricket Jokes
Biggest cricket joke around is
THE AUSTRALIAN TEAM
THE AUSTRALIAN TEAM
Aug 17th 2013 | 4:07 pm
#3
My hovercraft is full of
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 507
From: Innaloo
Re: Cricket Jokes
"What do you call a great Australian cricketer? Retired..." Vaughan tweeted. He followed up with several more jokes, including: "What do you call an Aussie with a 100 by his name? A bowler...".
Aug 17th 2013 | 4:11 pm
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,959
From: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Aug 18th 2013 | 12:20 pm
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 14,040
Re: Cricket Jokes
What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A waiter.
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
Retired.
What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman.
Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven't got any openers ..
What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
The woman who irons their cricket whites.
What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.
What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both
What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!
A waiter.
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
Retired.
What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman.
Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven't got any openers ..
What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
The woman who irons their cricket whites.
What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.
What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both
What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!
Sep 1st 2013 | 11:04 pm
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,867
From: north east england to south east queensland(cleveland in fact )WE WON THE CUP
Re: Cricket Jokes
HOWZAT !!
A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"
"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park just down the road" she replied.
"Can you describe what happened?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his evil way with me".
"Nasty.... Could you give me a description of him?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees,
One on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.
"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".
“That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent I suppose?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"
"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park just down the road" she replied.
"Can you describe what happened?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his evil way with me".
"Nasty.... Could you give me a description of him?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees,
One on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.
"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".
“That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent I suppose?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
Sep 1st 2013 | 11:10 pm
#7
da Bonehead
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,767
From: Lion in da jungle
Re: Cricket Jokes
Australian innings - the only advert free program on TV.
Sep 2nd 2013 | 7:48 am
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 20,821
From: Brisbane
Re: Cricket Jokes
Lol. I like the Cinderella one. 
