Cricket Jokes
 

How about a thread on the current cricket campaign, one to start

Q. What's the height of optimism?

A. An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.


Any more out there?

Re: Cricket Jokes
 

Biggest cricket joke around is













THE AUSTRALIAN TEAM

:rofl::rofl:

Re: Cricket Jokes
 

"What do you call a great Australian cricketer? Retired..." Vaughan tweeted. He followed up with several more jokes, including: "What do you call an Aussie with a 100 by his name? A bowler...".

Re: Cricket Jokes
 

Nah... It was what the west indies sent over last year to PLAY the Australian team....

Re: Cricket Jokes
 

What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A waiter.

What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
Retired.

What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven't got any openers ..

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
The woman who irons their cricket whites.

What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.

What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both

What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes

The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!

Re: Cricket Jokes
 

HOWZAT !!


A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"

"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".

"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.

"In the park just down the road" she replied.

"Can you describe what happened?"

"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his evil way with me".

"Nasty.... Could you give me a description of him?"

"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees,
One on each leg".

"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.

"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".

“That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent I suppose?"

"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".

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Australian innings - the only advert free program on TV.

Re: Cricket Jokes
 

Lol. I like the Cinderella one. :D