British Expats - Coping with mother-in-laws

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomar (Post 7528272)

I'm going to put an alternative perspective on this thread. As a MIL, I am very aware of being made very very unwelcome by my DIL! We have lived overseas through work and now in Oz for the last 15 years. We are very used to having visitors and I do believe we know how to behave when we visit, never longer than a week, by the way. The bed is never made up for us on the rare times we visit, our visit is very much our son's responsibility, he cooks etc. They have stayed with us over the years, we have bent over backwards to give them a good time. We have paid for flights, taken them to exotic places while with us.
We know we aren't welcome by her, it's very hurtfull. We are going back to UK shortly for a visit and have no intention of staying with them. You can't win, as strangely enough we get on very well with our son, who is caught between a rock and a hard place. He came here on his own last time, we had a great time with all three of ours here to celebrate a birthday.
You know you mustn't come between your son and his wife, but trust me there are times!!!! Have managed to keep my cool so far.
Just an example, we skype regularly, we never see or hear her not even on christmas day!
A lot of parents who visit overseas are perhaps very unused to traveling so far, unused to to having visitors themselves, and unintentionally just don't realise the stress everyone can be under. If possible be honest (even if I can't) give each other space, that's really important, but also understand that if MIL is now on her own, it means the world to her to be with you.
We intend renting somewhere near to them on this trip, but know better than to impose too much.
Good luck to all those visiting and having visitors.
Tomar parent

You sound great ,but unfortunately not all inlaws are like you:)