Fly Away

Hi Jen, we have been battling for 16 months with the visa process. Every thing that could go wrong, went wrong etc... still not got the flamin thing. As you know we are also battling with the house sale and wondering if losing most of what we have worked for 20 years to build up is worth it.

I can't tell you if it is worth it in the end, but I can tell you that if you give up, you will always regret not trying harder. Stress clouds your mind, the fight or flight impulse takes over and your whole body is telling you to get the hell out of this stressful situation.

Stick the visa application in - even if you get it, you don't have to go and you've paid for it now. It gives you choices if nothing else.

Then take that fight or flight instinct and turn the fight mode onto your ex. Don't even do it for Aus, do it for yourself and your daughters. You need to show this man that you are perfectly capable of taking him on and giving him a good thrashing. Your daughters will be free and they will have seen what being a good parent is all about.

Chin up and take care.

NikiL

Jen hang in there girl - I know exactly where you are with the court case and how you're feeling. Its a horrible, mind numbing soul destroying place to be, but you have to hold fast to what is best for your girls - and you know what that is. He sure as hell bloody doesn't - and as for the pontifical approach of telling you how to raise your kids, pah :curse:

Hold tight to what you know to be true and right, and hang on to the thought that the courts do look at what is best for them - and when that spanner cancels the girls so he can take his bit on the side away, well, says it all to all of us and it will to the courts as well.

Keep your determination, you're a strong woman and a fantastic mother. It will come good in the end

j19fmm

Hi Jenni, really sorry to hear you're feeling down you've got to keep going!
At this end, having thought things could only improve, my ex has declared (again) that there is no way the kids can emigrate with me, this despite my daughter talking with him (off her own back) and explaining she really wants to go, and that it's a great opportunity for her. She's gutted and i really don't know what to do. The more I read about court cases the more unlikely it looks that a judge would let them go either. Deep depression.

BethandAndrew

HEY HEY HEY JEN!!!!!!

Don't you bloody dare back out now!!!!

I totally know how you're feeling with the court issues right now.......waiting for Caffcass to come, not knowing what they 'think'.......drawing up more court statements, sorting court bundles out......blah blah blah!!!!
Been there......bought the t-shirt factory....LOL

I went through those feelings too........why did I start this etc etc.............but you're a fighter and a bloody good mum to those girls, you ARE doing the right thing, and the Judge will realise the girls are going to have a much better life in Oz with YOU!!!!

Keep going hun.........it takes a very strong woman to go through the courts and drag her entire past up just to start a new life in Oz.

Don't let your ex get you down........chin up girl......he soooooooo isn't worth it!!!!

You will be the one laughing when you're holding the RFTJ Court Order in your hands

Big hug to you all...........I'll be waiting for you at the finish line
Beth x x

JenniGee

Thanks again everyone for the support, karma messages, words of wisdom (not Norman, thank heavens!)

Plodding on very, very slowly... just trying to take one day at a time. I think the main thing is that we've just got such a lot on.

Ex somehow convinced the girls that they'd be far better off with him in Devon, so we've been very slowly working our way back from there, just to get to a baseline of normality...

I'm just hoping Cafcass will understand the absolute hell he's been putting us through, but somehow I doubt it. Youngest still very up & down about even living with us & yet a few short months back, she was the one full of excitement & enthusiasm for the whole thing - more so even than we were! Actually getting that Court Order is looking very unlikely at the moment to be honest with you all.

Pick up the keys for the new rental on Monday though, so at least something to look forward to is having a garden for the summer

BethandAndrew

Sent you some karma as you seem to have lost your 'Va-Va-Voom' hun
Keep thinkg positive vibes and it will all come good. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine and you will look back and think 'how the hell did I do that?'
Beth x x

badassbrickie

my youngest daughter aged 3 at the time used to say she didnt want to live with us when the court process was going on, she was at her dads when cafcass were and when it was time for her to come home she cried and said she wanted to stay with her daddy. she used to come home and cry saying she didnt love us, she loved her daddy and hazel (her dads parter was her mum) it was heartbreaking to go through it twice a week and felt i couldnt do anything about it because of the court process.they used it in court against me saying she had stated she didnt want to come home, but cafcass officer said it is very common in young children to act like that and it was dismissed by the judge. in fact literally 10 mins after he dropped her off she would change and if i asked if she wanted to go back to her dads she would scream the place down. she even hid my phone so i couldnt ring him to collect her. turned out when i asked her why she was crying, she said because hazel said she would smack her if she said she wanted to live with us. when i told her dad what she had said, he laughed and said it was rubbish, but she never came home crying again...strange that isn't it. cant believe he put her through all that for his own benefit. cafcass and the judges see these kind of cases every week and they know when someone is acting at being a good parent, they saw through my ex.