JenniGee

Does anyone else feel like this?

So much on... the pending Court case which is stressing me beyond belief, picking up the keys to the new house on Monday & having to get that sorted, girls being a handful, thinking that Cafcass will turn up & give them everything that they want....

I absolutely have to get my act together & try to get this visa application submitted, but just can't find the energy or the motivation - I've seriously lost my emigration mojo

It's not even as if I can "do a Beth" & just change my mind & stop everything - with the ex putting in his own application for residency, I just can't get away from it now & turn the clock back. Some days I just wish I'd never started this at all

Everyone here has their own challenges to overcome - can you share how you got through your hard times & found the motivation to carry on, even when everything seemed stacked against you

nickywes

Morning - keep your spirits up. These things are sent to test us and I believe it makes you stronger in the long run.

Here's mine - Applied for TRA and visa over the last two years and was getting all excited. Then visa granted in June 07, validated July 12 '07 luckily and on 31 July 07 OH got diagnosed with lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes) at age 41. Thought initially would be radiotherapy and a bit of chemo just in case but then went for more scans and it showed another tumour, which because of the place it was became 3rd stage and advanced. Then went through 6 months of intense chemo and became very very ill. In the meantime, as he was not able to work, financially we were getting into a mess with the business and thought we would go under.

In the meantime I was applying for my DD visa application, which was passed and now she has left, which made me really sad

My DD's were always a handful and still are even at their ages but I think that is normal

Now he has finished his treatment and scans show fairly clear (whatever that means). He is now back working and finances have improved 100%.

Can't sell the bloody house now so another thing sent to test but as long as you are healthy and have your family that is all that matters. We will all get there eventually

Chin up things will improve

mancfamily

It's reading posts such as this that keeps me motivated, and my problems pale into comparison compared to quite a few BE members that have serious health problems. Makes you realise life is precious, and you should follow your dreams.

JenniGee, I don't know your story so can't comment but I hope you can overcome this, keep your chin up.

K on the way to both of you.

xx

asher

Jen you know my story, I find it best to deal with today and not worry about tomorrow then you don't get down, try to find things to make you chuckle

badassbrickie

I know how you feel with the court thing and everything. it is mentally draining, constantly on your mind, but dont worry about it. Honestly if your children are happy and settled then the judge will more than likely grant permission. Just keep telling yourelf it's for your childrens future, the lifestlye they can experience, that other people can only dream about. I was constantly stressed about selling hous etc etc, and i too have lost my mojo now.... am now resigned to the fact that if/when visa is granted we will go out and validate and then go back when we are ready, if house take's a year to sell, so be it, everything happens for a reason, and it may be that delay are ment to be for ome reason. when i feel like staying in uk, i sit and write a list of why i ant to go and why i want to stay and often there are really few reasons to stay (for me anyway, no family etc)

good luck and chin up

katsmajic

Hey Jen, keep your chin up, you just have to keep slogging away at it and it will come - some just go slower than others...

our journey has been full of ups and downs, as koh says its a rollercoaster...
we applied for the tra, then had court issues, then medical issues, then i destroyed my knee, then teenagers both left home/ran away/refused to come, its a massive weary adventure and no one has it easy in their own way etc...

good luck with the court case, focus on why you are doing this, explain it sensibly/calmly to caffcass, and if ness take a couple of days off thinking/worrying about the application - refresh & recharge your batteries. xx

JenniGee

Thanks folks, nice of you all to reply

Feeling a bit better now, it's just the whole thing seems so huge & destructive at times - especially when I get the ex on the phone, lecturing me on his theories about bringing up children.... the ones he wouldn't see for months until the Australia thing blew up.

Booked the removals today though

wardy2

I have definately lost the mojo and dont seem to know how to get it back.

We have had health issues with the meds, dependency issues regarding 18 year old son, now problems with exchanging on house meaning we have to validate costing us £1000's.

We travel to Perth on Monday to validate and dont seem to be able to summon up any enthusiasm at all.

Now we find out that we could probably complete house sale by the end of the month so by contracts taking 2 weeks more than the deadline we had to validate we are now much the poorer.

Good luck with everything

kaye x

PaulandNic

For the 'best' for my family! ... that's what kept me strong.

All the best love! ...

edie209

You've come this far so you might as well carry on now, its just all this waiting around that realy does your head in Its easy for the Ex's who dont have 24 hour care to give you their carefully thought out parental advice GET you application done quick, once its in there's no pondering about should I or shouldn't I, I know I dont know you're personal circumstance but cafcass look at whats best for the kids not just at what they want!

Keep your chin up and dont let the bar stewards grind you down

Eve 209

JenniGee

Nightmarish, isn't it? You have all this enthusiasm in the beginning, hopes & plans, the whole process just seems to knock it out of you. When the time comes that you actually need the energy, it disappears!

Hopefully you'll find your mojo lurking somewhere over the Solent

JenniGee

At least you had the say-so over your own destiny Paul (& that's not taking away from the struggles you've overcome)

It's battling against someone who actually holds the power in his hands to literally ruin his own children's security, just to stop you... it's so bloody hard at times.

JenniGee

Well...we've paid all the visa fees already, so we might as well... just wish I was feeling happier about it.

PaulandNic

Yeah you're right, I'm sorry, I don't know the full story ...

I was just answering to what kept me strong.

As you were!

JenniGee

Lol! No worries.... probably me being over-sensitive right now....

ignore me & hopefully I'll just fade away........