British Expats
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British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   The Barbie (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/)
-   -   The call came (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/call-came-754866/)

Pomster Apr 14th 2012 8:08 am
The call came
 
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.

Turban Explorer Apr 14th 2012 8:17 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.
You were nearby and were there for her - that's everything you could do. All my sympathies. :sad_smile:

rasen78 Apr 14th 2012 8:21 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.
So sorry for your loss Xx

quoll Apr 14th 2012 8:33 am
Re: The call came
 
Sympathies to you and your family - at least you were there and she knew she was loved (((hugs)))

Bernieboy Apr 14th 2012 11:00 am
Re: The call came
 
Big hug mate.:thumbup:

paulry Apr 14th 2012 11:12 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.
Sorry about you and your family's sad loss.

Dorothy Apr 14th 2012 11:55 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.
I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm sure it meant a lot to her to have you there in her final hours.

eddie007 Apr 14th 2012 4:35 pm
Re: The call came
 
Just popped in to say how sorry I am for you.... You're lucky to have been nearby and you WILL look back and be glad that you were there at the end, its a tremendous priviledge and you know for sure how it happened.... Its so bloody hard at the time, but its a good thing.... its so many peoples one regret.....

Cyber hugs

Jan4kids Apr 15th 2012 2:17 am
Re: The call came
 
[QUOTE=eddie007;10006135]Just popped in to say how sorry I am for you.... You're lucky to have been nearby and you WILL look back and be glad that you were there at the end, its a tremendous priviledge and you know for sure how it happened.... Its so bloody hard at the time, but its a good thing.... its so many peoples one regret.....

Cyber hugs[/QUOT

How very true Eddie x

I was holding my Dads hand when he died......yes very traumatic, but you'll be SO glad you were there with your Mum in the future. My Mum died as I was flying back......TRYING to be with her :(

I'm so sorry for you, butyou should be very proud that you did the right thing for you Mum xx

Jan

alipally Apr 15th 2012 2:24 am
Re: The call came
 
So sorry for your loss :(

Glad you made the decision to go back and be with her.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.

DeadVim Apr 15th 2012 2:26 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.
Sorry to hear about your loss, it sounds like you did all you could to comfort her.

soapy© Apr 15th 2012 2:30 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience .
phew! this brought it back to me. its strange. sometimes i struggle to picture my mum as the happy wee woman she was. but i can remember that moment without even having to think :(

everyone says times a healer and it is
but its a long time and i hope you have the right people around you to help you through this
for a long time i was comforted by the thought that i was there at the end

now i wish i hadn't

everyones different though and i do hope those last moments will help you through your loss

chris and farideh Apr 15th 2012 3:44 am
Re: The call came
 
Sorry for your loss, glad that you could be there with her my thoughts are with your family.

irishbloo Apr 15th 2012 9:51 am
Re: The call came
 
Sorry to hear of your loss.May your Mum rest in peace.Her pain is over.You will find some days harder than others.Be kind to your self and treasure your memories.x

OakTree Apr 15th 2012 9:15 pm
Re: The call came
 
Sorry to hear of your loss. May her soul rest in peace.

Take care xx

carolinephillips Apr 16th 2012 10:29 am
Re: The call came
 
Your mum died surrounded by love. Massive hugs to you.

After a 5 month battle with cancer induced dementia my dad died in my sister's arms- I was not able to be there- and at the end he went in peace, which was a comfort to me.

Remember all the good times and happy things about your mum, not the awful last part of her life. (Sorry if this is not coming over right, I'm crying too much to think about it properly- it is coming from the heart.)

Pombat Apr 16th 2012 11:05 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 10009173)
Your mum died surrounded by love. Massive hugs to you.

After a 5 month battle with cancer induced dementia my dad died in my sister's arms- I was not able to be there- and at the end he went in peace, which was a comfort to me.

Remember all the good times and happy things about your mum, not the awful last part of her life. (Sorry if this is not coming over right, I'm crying too much to think about it properly- it is coming from the heart.)
So true. My mother in law died in 2010 after a few years of failing health and a final 6 months of major personality changes due to vascular dementia. It was heartbreaking for all the family, and in many ways she was long gone by the time she actually died. We had " that call" 3 times and each time my DH was able to get home and be with her and with his family. Remember all the good times. So sorry for your loss. xx

Pomster Apr 17th 2012 8:47 am
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 10009173)

Remember all the good times and happy things about your mum, not the awful last part of her life. (Sorry if this is not coming over right, I'm crying too much to think about it properly- it is coming from the heart.)
Sorry for your loss. And I know what you mean- sometimes it is hard to put into words.
As a parent I would not worry about my offspring being near at my end...just happy that they are happy....so don't worry about not being with your dad in his final hours. I'm sure he would be happy you are settled.

Bermudashorts Jul 11th 2012 2:12 pm
Re: The call came
 
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.

carolinephillips Jul 11th 2012 2:17 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
Oh how awful- I don't know what to say other than I really feel for you and if there is anything at all I can do pm me.
(((massive hugs)))

Scubaemma Jul 11th 2012 2:18 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
So sorry to hear that BS :(
Thinking of you <<hugs>>

brissybee Jul 11th 2012 2:29 pm
Re: The call came
 
Your loss is very sad. :(

Be kind to yourself.

DadAgain Jul 11th 2012 2:34 pm
Re: The call came
 
Thats a terrible thing to hear.

bb is right - dont beat yourself up.

Pombat Jul 11th 2012 2:46 pm
Re: The call came
 
So sorry to hear your news, how awful for you.
Take care of yourself xx

Pollyana Jul 11th 2012 2:53 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
Hugs and lots of sympathy

x

northernbird Jul 11th 2012 2:56 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
So sorry to hear that BS what an awful call to receive. We have had some exposure to suicide recently in our house albeit not a family member. My thoughts are with you and your entire family at this time.

coolerkingcooler Jul 11th 2012 3:15 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
Oh my, that is terrible.

Our condolence are with you,
Cooler

SillyOldBag Jul 11th 2012 3:40 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
Really sorry to read of your loss. Even with all her history it would still have come as an awful shock. My thoughts are with you and your family as you get through this difficult time. It sucks to be on the wrong side of the world when family stuff happens.

irishbloo Jul 11th 2012 3:52 pm
Re: The call came
 
That is so sad.Sent shivers through me.Her suffering and pain is over.Take care of yourself.You must be in shock.:(

Dorothy Jul 11th 2012 4:24 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
I'm really sorry for your loss BS. 39 is so young.

ozzieeagle Jul 11th 2012 4:38 pm
Re: The call came
 
A terrible thing to hear about. Try and find some happy memories if you can and cling to them. Lots of sympathy.

itigo Jul 11th 2012 5:28 pm
Re: The call came
 
Thinking of you today. Very sad. Take each hour as it comes and as others have said, be kind to yourself. x

sassie Jul 11th 2012 5:56 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 10005725)
One (of several) reason(s) we decided to stay a while in UK was because my mother was in poor health- dementia and fraility.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been driving back and forth to see her as often as I can.(she lives couple of hours away)

Last week on the way home from work I got the call to say her final hours were close. Phoned home to get Mr P to pack a bag and we drove off to the place my mother was based.

I sat with her for 4 hours til she took her last breath. Horrible awful experience but I guess I'm glad I was based in the UK and could be with her, even though it was painful to experience.

Hope no one else is experiencing this from afar.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but at least you were with your mum to the end. We went through a similar thing with my partner’s dad about 12 months ago. We had already planned a holiday to the UK irrespective of his dad’s health. It was only a brief visit just 7 days, and during that 7 day window (the day we were flying home), his dad passed away, it was almost like he was holding on for us to arrive. The first day we arrived he was sitting up in bed and chatting to us, by the 3rd day he was unconscious and by the 7th day he was gone, so we obviously extended our trip to help his mum with funeral arrangements etc.

quoll Jul 11th 2012 5:59 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
Oh BS, have some (((hugs))). So sorry for your loss

moneypenny20 Jul 11th 2012 6:09 pm
Re: The call came
 
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 10167775)
Today at 7.25am my call came.

My younger sister took her own life yesterday at the age of 39. She was a troubled soul who has battled depression and mental health issues for many years. I don't know what to do with myself today whilst the UK sleeps, I might as well be on another planet.
That's very very sad but if there's a situation fit for the expression RIP, it's this one. I hope she truly is at peace now. Hope you and your family find some comfort somehow.

Bernieboy Jul 11th 2012 6:49 pm
Re: The call came
 
It's an awful call to take,nothing really anyone can say,it's a strange horrible feeling,take the day really slow,so sorry for yer loss.

Pomster Jul 11th 2012 8:31 pm
Re: The call came
 
So sorry ot hear about your sister BS.
It must seem so much harder when she was so young.

Take care of yourself especially if you have to make that dreadful journey back.

soapy© Jul 11th 2012 8:38 pm
Re: The call came
 
I really like pens post!
what does anyone know what to type to you?

you must be left with so many 'what if's'

my heart really goes out to you and hope as a family you find some way of getting through this time.

its really hard with someone so young. your sister is the same age as my sister in law who passed a couple of years ago and i still struggle at times when i think of what she still had in front of her. we all know that time does heal, but thats no comfort for you or your family right now. I do hope as Pen says that she has now found some peace. oh and please try and focus on the good times (i know its not easy) you had with your sister. the times that made you laugh, cry and smile. It may help you past the first few weeks.

chris and farideh Jul 11th 2012 9:02 pm
Re: The call came
 
Sorry to hear your sad news, be kind to yourself. (((( big hugs))))

lesleys Jul 11th 2012 10:25 pm
Re: The call came
 
BS, what a terrible shock for you, depression is a terrible illness.

Hang onto the good memories and the happy times you had together - they are there forever.


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