gedge

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Warning: This post contains scenes that some readers may find distressing.
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It's funny the things you think about when you can't sleep.
Lying there at 2am clutching my stomach, the realisation of what it most likely is has already sunk in. Sharp pains in the lower right belly, I'm going to need an appendicectomy. Well I did learn a few things from the times I used to sneak in to that nurses residence in Sheffield. I sweat out the night, pondering my lack of pyjamas to wear, not even a pair of slippers to walk around in. This is my somewhat artificial image of what being in hospital is about. Another ill feeling washes over me when I remember about unpaid sick leave, damn my new contract.

The kookaburras start laughing at first light; I know this will be soon followed by my son wanting his first bottle. Can I get up and give it to him? Of course, I'm feeling fine now I'll even be alright for work I rashly assume as I swing my legs out of bed…. Ugh! Bugger! My wife wonders what the matter is; probably thinking "he's trying to dodge getting up". I have to explain my difficulties to her. Despite my protestations all three of us are sitting in the medical centre waiting room by 8am.

An hour wait is just the start of a long day as I head to the A&E at the local hospital. Hanging about in waiting rooms and wards, on beds, wheel chairs and knackered out old lounge chairs. Different people come to see me, ask the same questions over again, poke and prod, put me through pain, when will it end.

A young female doctor comes to put a cannula in. My veins prove tricky, something neither of us are impressed with. It’s not helped when another doctor rudely shunts in beside us and pulls the curtain, reducing us to a dim corner. She swaps to my right arm, I’ve never liked needles and blood and all this medical malarkey. She stands back pleased with her job. I’m losing control, pins and needles in my hands I try to tell her… “It’s ok, you’re hyperventilating” she informs me matter of factly, “oh that’s alright then isn’t it” I should have replied.

A while later, I’ve been moved down a few floors into ‘The Transit Lounge’, there’s a shortage of beds. Two young lads sit opposite me, each with a broken leg. One left, one right... I joke that they’d do well together in a 3 legged race, it doesn’t raise a smile. An old dear to my left can barely open her eyes; she keeps whispering “Please help, please”. If only I could I think as my pain worsens.

My spirit lifts when I see my little family at the door, but there’s no space for them in the lounge. I can’t manage to go anywhere with them, I can’t even hold my boy, and they have to go again as this time I make some progress towards theatre.

gedge

Back on a bed awaiting the anaesthetist I consider that this is my first time for an op. It scares me more than a little, the big wuss that I am. Another bloke gets wheeled in to the small room with me and the porter pulls the dividing curtain. As it happens this reveals our faces to each other, like disembodied heads on beds. “Alright mate” I say, hoping that the fear is still written across my face. We swap stories, what else is there to do. He’s got an infection in his finger that he’s going to have cut out. We stop talking as someone appears in surgical scrubs. She goes straight to him and starts talking through the usual prep stuff. I can’t recall exactly how it comes about, but it’s soon clear that she has us mixed up; “No, it’s not my appendix” I hear him say. Gets me nervously thinking where that could have led; him missing his appendix and me losing a finger.

I’m in another room just before the op room I can see over my shoulder. It’s getting busy, people all talking to me at once… someone tells me I have to empty my bladder or they’ll catheterise me. Damn I can’t go here, the doors not even closed. As much as I try it ain’t happening and I lay back down dispirited and lonely amongst all these people in their strange attire. The trolley moves back, through the doors. As I shunt across on to another bad my glasses are taken. Someone whose face I can no longer see starts talking, but I pay them little attention as I struggle to take in my surroundings. My arms belong to them now, I know what’s coming. The last thing I see is a tv screen with one of those coloured test cards on it, and I think I wish it had that girl on it with the black board and clown, that’d be nice…

gedge

“HELP! HELP! CALL THE POLICE! I CAN’T GET OUT!” It’s dark and unknown, I feel a little groggy and someone nearby is shouting. Soon a person appears “Are you alright?” she asks. I can’t see her face, my glasses are missing and the dim strip light above frames her shadow. I manage a nod and a blink, closing my eyes and recalling the whys and where’s. My recollection is accompanied by the ward’s orchestra; a rhythmic snoring to my right, wheezing somewhere in front of me and the occasional shout for help from somewhere between the two.

My wits gathering slowly I examine the outcome. I’ve been crudely shaved across by belly. There’s three red blotches leading down from my belly to my crotch. “Is that all?” but then I recall that the talk of keyhole and that appendix aren’t all that big.
No catheter... that’s a result, but now I need to pee. There’s an odd shaped bottle on the table next to the bed that I pull over. It’s then that I notice my curtains are parted a few foot in to the corridor. Faceless people walk back and forth. I find my glasses and set about waving to whoever looks like nursing staff. They don’t see me. All I want is for someone to pull the curtains. I would get up but some strange contraption is strapped to my legs, expanding and contracting regularly. I lay back down frustrated and fall asleep. My next waking is an urgency to go... damn those curtains I’ll have to just do it. Despite the urge though, I find it damn difficult to go lying down. Somehow I do, but with a slight error of judgement find a warm wet patch beneath me too. Damn, damn, damn. Slumping back I notice the cord hanging down that has knocked against my temple a couple of times… it’s a buzzer. Ping and a light comes on above. I look at the clock. Half an hour later my call for dignity is answered.

A change of linen, some water to drink and a bag of pain relief see me through to the early hours of the next day. I meet my fellow guests in the cuckoo nest. The one who shouted through the night is remarkably quiet now. I feel slightly sorry for these guys because they’re all regulars to this routine. I’ll be going home later but they’ve got days of this; waiting for the next unappetizing meal, watching others come and go, wearing these gowns that put their bum and balls on show as they’re helped to the loo or wherever. They could do with something else to wear I reckon.

Mid afternoon I’m given my release notes and a pack of something for the pain. I’m glad to be home now, sat on my sofa. It’s almost as if nothing happened. Except my son gives me funny looks, questioning why I’m not down on the floor playing rough and tumble with him.

I’ve arranged to start work the next day, much to the disapproval of my dear wife. An uncomfortable night sleep ahead, I’m lying there contemplating my continued lack of pyjamas

Ransi

Jackanory or what..

P.S There's 25% off sleepwear at Target or K-Mart.

iPom

What is it with you guys and your health?

Take an extra day off, you muppet! You think you're going to be any better going back so soon?

Listen to your wife. She knows what she's talking about.


I realise this is the only time I get to call a mod a muppet, but you deserve it.




Muppet.

Fiona&malc

i wondered where you had been, you poor thing!!!! most definately take a couple of days off, give your body a chance mate, youve just had surgery !!!!! how are you feeling now? that must have been a shock for you all

gedge

well i had nothing else to do did i
and i think i'll stick to sleeping in the nuddy, thanks for the shopping tip though

gedge

but which one... no don't answer

gedge

thanks, i'm not doing too bad certainly not quick on my feet but all in good time
it did kind of make me realise that there is no one here for us, no one to support my wife and son whilst i was laid up

Fiona&malc

its kinda scary when something like that does happen, 2 weeks ago, we discovered my little boy has asthma, he is 6, and he couldnt breathe, i ended up staying overnight in hospital with him and had to give him the nebuliser every hr all through the night, and it was strange not having my mum and dad there etc to give you some support etc, we managed fine though, ive certainly hardened to a lot more things now that i am here without my parents etc than before, ie i probably cope more calmly than i would if i were back in the UK.
anyway, take it easy, dont be overdoing it!!!!!

iPom

Muppet ....



Seriously Gedge, I hope you feel A1 again soon.

Clippy

Scary thought.....


Anyway, sending you a big massive hug chick ((((((((((hug)))))))))

Be careful though, I understand the no working and no money thing I really do, but if you go back too soon and hurt yourself doing so then you'll be off for longer. You know your own body no doubt though and I know I wouldn't be able to keep Dale off work either.

Lol at no pyjamas - I had to get Dale some when he was in hospital last week, got him some Asda Smartprice ones

Take care of yourself chick xxxxx

nickyjohnt

My wits gathering slowly I examine the outcome. I’ve been crudely shaved across by belly. There’s three red blotches leading down from my belly to my crotch. “Is that all?” but then I recall that the talk of keyhole and that appendix aren’t all that big.



Oh dear hope you are not feeling to sore ! Never heard of keyhole surgery for having your appendix out before !
Are all of your other organs that small

Nicky

moneypenny20

So have you not been here then, sorry not noticed

Typical bloke, make a huge fuss about nothing and once you THINK you've recovered you want to get back to work because you think you are completely indispensable. You will then do too much too soon, become a muppet not a hero and be off work for even longer.

Lecture over. Hope you're feeling better and not making Jules's life too awful. Have a hug

gedge

thanks K, looks like the running is out for a while
wouldn't worry about meoverdoing it, my work is hardly energetic but i'll take on board what you're all telling me and stop work for today