bars open what you having?
Apr 19th 2007, 11:36 am
#2059
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 1,031
Re: bars open what you having?
Golf Lessons
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee", she said.
"Where?", he asked.
"Between the first and second hole", she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee", she said.
"Where?", he asked.
"Between the first and second hole", she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
Apr 19th 2007, 11:45 am
#2060
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 1,031
Re: bars open what you having?
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Apr 19th 2007, 11:47 am
#2061
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,322
Re: bars open what you having?
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Apr 19th 2007, 11:48 am
#2062
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,322
Re: bars open what you having?
do you only know jokes about golf?
Apr 19th 2007, 11:49 am
#2063
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,322
Re: bars open what you having?
Is free hiding behind the bar????
shes been quite all night
shes been quite all night
Apr 19th 2007, 11:49 am
#2064
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,233
Re: bars open what you having?
here's one...
A guy goes in to a bar one day accompanied by an emu and a cat
They all pull up a stool and sit at the bar
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money, the bartender is impressed
They finish their drinks and again....
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money again, the bartender shakes his head in amazement
He says to the guy
"I get them all in here but i've never known anyone to be able to do that trick with the money"
"What's the story?"
So the guy replies
"Well i found this magic lantern which i rubbed and out came a genie"
"He gave me 3 wishes like they do"
"So i asked for always having the exact money in my pocket when i need it"
"Then i had 2 wishes left so i asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy"
A guy goes in to a bar one day accompanied by an emu and a cat
They all pull up a stool and sit at the bar
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money, the bartender is impressed
They finish their drinks and again....
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money again, the bartender shakes his head in amazement
He says to the guy
"I get them all in here but i've never known anyone to be able to do that trick with the money"
"What's the story?"
So the guy replies
"Well i found this magic lantern which i rubbed and out came a genie"
"He gave me 3 wishes like they do"
"So i asked for always having the exact money in my pocket when i need it"
"Then i had 2 wishes left so i asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy"
Apr 19th 2007, 11:51 am
#2066
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,322
Re: bars open what you having?
here's one...
A guy goes in to a bar one day accompanied by an emu and a cat
They all pull up a stool and sit at the bar
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money, the bartender is impressed
They finish their drinks and again....
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money again, the bartender shakes his head in amazement
He says to the guy
"I get them all in here but i've never known anyone to be able to do that trick with the money"
"What's the story?"
So the guy replies
"Well i found this magic lantern which i rubbed and out came a genie"
"He gave me 3 wishes like they do"
"So i asked for always having the exact money in my pocket when i need it"
"Then i had 2 wishes left so i asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy"
A guy goes in to a bar one day accompanied by an emu and a cat
They all pull up a stool and sit at the bar
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money, the bartender is impressed
They finish their drinks and again....
The bartender asks the guy "what'll it be?"
"Pint" he replies
"Pint for me" says the emu
"I'll have a half but i'm not paying" says the cat
So the bartender serves the drinks and says to the guy that'll be 6.20
The guy reaches in to his pocket and pulls out some money, puts it on the bar
It's exactly the right money again, the bartender shakes his head in amazement
He says to the guy
"I get them all in here but i've never known anyone to be able to do that trick with the money"
"What's the story?"
So the guy replies
"Well i found this magic lantern which i rubbed and out came a genie"
"He gave me 3 wishes like they do"
"So i asked for always having the exact money in my pocket when i need it"
"Then i had 2 wishes left so i asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy"
Apr 19th 2007, 11:52 am
#2067
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,322
Re: bars open what you having?
Are you going to keep that avatar cause i liked the cuddley bear best?
