The Art of Having a Shower
Apr 15th 2006 | 11:50 pm
#1
Thread Starter
*
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,073
The Art of Having a Shower
How to shower like a woman:
Get in shower.use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil,leave on hair for 15 minutes.Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.wash rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower,spray mould spots with tile cleaner.Get out of shower.dry yourself with towel the size of a smaal country.Check entire body for spots,tweeze hairs.return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see wife along the way shake your knob at her making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your knob and scratch your arse.Get in shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.Shampoo hair.Make shampoo mohican.Pee.Get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor.Admire shiny knob in mirror.Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.Retuen to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass wife,pull off towel,shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Get in shower.use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil,leave on hair for 15 minutes.Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.wash rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower,spray mould spots with tile cleaner.Get out of shower.dry yourself with towel the size of a smaal country.Check entire body for spots,tweeze hairs.return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see wife along the way shake your knob at her making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your knob and scratch your arse.Get in shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.Shampoo hair.Make shampoo mohican.Pee.Get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor.Admire shiny knob in mirror.Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.Retuen to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass wife,pull off towel,shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Apr 16th 2006 | 2:55 am
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 732
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Originally Posted by >Trigger<
How to shower like a woman:
Get in shower.use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil,leave on hair for 15 minutes.Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.wash rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower,spray mould spots with tile cleaner.Get out of shower.dry yourself with towel the size of a smaal country.Check entire body for spots,tweeze hairs.return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see wife along the way shake your knob at her making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your knob and scratch your arse.Get in shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.Shampoo hair.Make shampoo mohican.Pee.Get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor.Admire shiny knob in mirror.Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.Retuen to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass wife,pull off towel,shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Get in shower.use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil,leave on hair for 15 minutes.Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.wash rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower,spray mould spots with tile cleaner.Get out of shower.dry yourself with towel the size of a smaal country.Check entire body for spots,tweeze hairs.return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see wife along the way shake your knob at her making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your knob and scratch your arse.Get in shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.Shampoo hair.Make shampoo mohican.Pee.Get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor.Admire shiny knob in mirror.Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.Retuen to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass wife,pull off towel,shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Have you been speaking to my husband?
Apr 16th 2006 | 3:02 am
#3
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 28,175
From: at the bottom of a wine glass
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Originally Posted by Louise M
Have you been speaking to my husband?
Nah, it must have been mine
Apr 16th 2006 | 3:35 am
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 151
From: WA
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Originally Posted by >Trigger<
How to shower like a woman:
Get in shower.use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil,leave on hair for 15 minutes.Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.wash rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower,spray mould spots with tile cleaner.Get out of shower.dry yourself with towel the size of a smaal country.Check entire body for spots,tweeze hairs.return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see wife along the way shake your knob at her making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your knob and scratch your arse.Get in shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.Shampoo hair.Make shampoo mohican.Pee.Get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor.Admire shiny knob in mirror.Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.Retuen to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass wife,pull off towel,shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Get in shower.use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil,leave on hair for 15 minutes.Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.wash rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower,spray mould spots with tile cleaner.Get out of shower.dry yourself with towel the size of a smaal country.Check entire body for spots,tweeze hairs.return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see wife along the way shake your knob at her making woo-hoo sound.Look at manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your knob and scratch your arse.Get in shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.Shampoo hair.Make shampoo mohican.Pee.Get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor.Admire shiny knob in mirror.Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.Retuen to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass wife,pull off towel,shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Trigger,
What is your avatar?!
It looks like an armless hedgehog with a big nose, but I think perhaps it's supposed to be something else!?!? 
Apr 16th 2006 | 12:08 pm
#5
Thread Starter
*
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,073
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Originally Posted by George&Kim
Trigger,
What is your avatar?! It looks like an armless hedgehog with a big nose, but I think perhaps it's supposed to be something else!?!?
What is your avatar?!
It looks like an armless hedgehog with a big nose, but I think perhaps it's supposed to be something else!?!?
Apr 16th 2006 | 8:09 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 915
From: Lal Lal a rural community outside Ballarat VIC, previously Kent England
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
OMG! :scared: You have all had an insight into my life!!!
LMAO
Lisa.x
LMAO
Lisa.x
Apr 16th 2006 | 8:46 pm
#7
Susie..
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,531
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Must have cctv in my house !!!!! :scared:
Sue
Sue
Apr 16th 2006 | 8:49 pm
#8
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,020
From: brisbane
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
[QUOTE=>Trigger<]It can be what ever you want it to be......armless hedgehog? [/QUOTE
Unless my eyes deceive me,Its a little penis with feet on his balls!!!
[/QUOTE Unless my eyes deceive me,Its a little penis with feet on his balls!!!
Apr 16th 2006 | 9:15 pm
#9
Ian O
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 26
From: Victoria
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Thanks that was very funny I think my wife would like some Jaffa cake body scrub.Ian
Apr 17th 2006 | 3:48 am
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 863
From: miles from a pint of milk!
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
Originally Posted by >Trigger<
How to shower like a woman:
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.
Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.
Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.
Pee.
Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.
Throw wet towel on bed.
How to shower like a man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.
Hold one finger over each nostril and Blow your nose.
Make fart noises(real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing your private parts,Wash your butt leaving coarse hairs in the soap.
Pee.
Leave shower door open,wet mat on floor,light and fan on.
Throw wet towel on bed.
'shake your knob making woo-hoo sound.'
and other times i think not...
Apr 17th 2006 | 6:46 am
#11
flirt
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,264
From: lincoln
Re: The Art of Having a Shower
I've got to admitt thats me to a T but I wax my leg's
Tess xxx
Tess xxx
