Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

I must be an alcy then because just thinking about this makes me feel uneasy. :o

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

I think your name and avatar are clues ;)

G

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

There are various degrees.

Alcoholism only becomes apparent to the drinker when they attempt to stop or reduce intake. Otherwise, they don't have a problem.

I read recently that around 35% of the U.K.'s adult population are in this position. The figure was considered a 'conservative' estimate.

Allen Carr, who is probably best known for his work on helping people to stop smoking, has applied similar methods in his book - The Easy Way to Control Alcohol. As with his work on smoking, Carr mainly tackles the only real issue -our perspective of the drug we're addicted to, which is almost identical for alcohol and nictotine addicts.

His success rates are second to none - over 90% if you visit one of his nationwide clinics, although I become free 9 months ago after reading the book.

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

Anyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I like my drinks; many people joke about me being an alcoholic. Not many realise that for a few years the man who was then in my life (NOT The Bloke) was an alcoholic.

I learnt more in those years than a lifetime of reading could teach people. he was a drinker from about the age of 15, peer pressure, his dad drank a lot though a very respectable and lovely man, not the traditional drunkard. Michael drank to gain confidence, cos his dad said it was a good thing to do, cos his mates did it. Then he found people liked him cos he got funnier when he drank, so he drank more. Then he moved to Tassie, all his mates told him Aussie men were drinkers, so he kept drinking. but his marriage (to an Aussie girl) started to hit the rocks cos he didn't know when to stop. He would drink till he fell over, then drink a bit more to dull the pain.
His wife left him. So he drank to dull the pain. Sovbering up hurt him. So he drank.
I thought - in my innocence - I could help him. I spent time in Tassie with him, trying to help, and learning - you cannot help an addict who does not want to be helped. He had a good job, his boss tried to help him as much as I did.
Even if he loves you, he will keep drinking. he will tell you he isn't - then you turn on the oven and find it has a vodka bottle in it ...... then you open every drawer, and find those bags from the wine boxes, screwed up in the corners, each one with a few precious drops in......
Then you see him crying, screaming, begging to be left alone to drink cos that numbs all the pain in his life. Begging for you to fill his glass cos he is too drunk to stand up and go fill it himself.
And he knows he is hurting you but he NEEDS that drink, he cannot stop. He doesn't want to stop. he just wants the pain in his head to stop and he thinks the drink will do that.

Michael wished me well when we split up; he knew he was no good for me, no good for anyone. He needed help, but he didn't want help. No amount of love cpuld help him.
He committed suicide a month before I moved to Australia - he's at peace now, thank God.
--------------------
THAT is an alcoholic.

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

...........one of a higher degree.

This story should not be taken as solace to anyone that feels they 'only' need to drink a few pints every night in order not to feel terribly deprived or miserable.

Touching story mate - Karma sent.

L

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

: I think this is what people fail to understand Polly drinking doesn`t just affect the alcoholic it has a real knock on affect on those around them, every time they say they`re not going to do it again you pretend to believe them - you want it to be true but you are always waiting for it to happen again. You can never relax, you can`t have a wee drink in the house at Christmas or New Year because the tempation would be too much for them. I don`t drink on my own in the house (in fact very rarely drink at all these days) because I know if it got to the stage when I`d had a bad day and the first thing I did was reach for a glass and a bottle then it easily become a habit and I will never put my daughter through what I went through as a kid. The only reason my mum stopped in the end was because she caught a bad lung infection became dehydrated and started hallucinating (she was talking to my dad who`d been dead for a couple of years :rolleyes:) - the point is we all just thought she was just drunk again. Fair play to her though she hasn`t touched a drop since.
People seem to think that because alcohol is a legal drug it doesn`t need to be taken seriously - it`s not a problem it`s only a couple, that is their first mistake.

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

[Thankk you all so much specially toppa and grayling and pollyana.

I asked because I have been moving toward the big 40 and trying to improve my health and lifestyle so i began to question everything I do eat and drink.

I quit smoking 8 years ago - cold turkey and I have never had one since and I never will ! I have willpower.

I did however put on weight as i replaced the cigs with jelly babies.

I have always been one for a drink - when I was 17/18 i used to go out 3 nights a week and drink maybe 2 to 3 halfs of lager and lime - I did once get drunk on spirits (martini) and I never got drunk again until I was in my mid 20's. I can honestly say I have never been drunk more than 5 times in my life. I hate the feeling.

However I have started getting healthy and exercising, swimming 3 times a week and parking the car right away from the shops and walking - going for walks on sundays etc. I have also began a healthy eating plan which cuts down on a lot of the processed food and is mainly natural food like chicken, meat, veg and fruit and pulses.

So I began this thinking that well the calories in the wine i drink are a waste and I could lose more weight by stopping or cutting down. I stopped drinking for 7 weeks and it was a bit hard as I relax most evenings with a glass of wine or two and read a book or watch tv - so I began to include the drink back into my life - I just thought maybe I was addicted because i missed it and didn't want to kick the habit totally. I am not an addictive natured person - the only other habit I have that I really can't break and that is biting my nails

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

Thats got nothing to do with me mum has it by any chance?

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

what you mean the comment about being nearly 40 AND FAT[COLOR=Blue]


No - certainly not :rolleyes:

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

If you need more than five pints to put up with watching the Dingles play! ;)

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

couldn't drink five pints - well i could over a two to three day period :)

Who are the Dingles?

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

Wern't they on Emmerdale??! :p

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

I've found much more tolerance for alcoholism in the UK vs the US.

There isn't a British equivalent for an "intervention" as is done in the US where friends & family sit someone down and have a talk about substance abuse (drugs, alcohol).

I think (and I'm sure there's a better definition out there) that an alcoholic is a person whose life is being significantly negatively impacted by alcohol and who cannot stop or reduce alcohol consumption to improve life.

eg

* alcohol affecting work (late to work, ill, poor performance at work, getting sacked)
* alcohol affecting health (liver disease, ulcers)
* alcohol affecting relationships (not able to hold up one's end of a partnership, or be a good parent; at an extreme, physical abuse, whether it's a stranger or a loved one)

Someone who has alcohol controlling them to the above extent who cannot cut back on it is an alcoholic.

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

You seem very aware and engaged with yourself in a healthy way. Don't though see things that aren't there. If you had a small chocolate bar at a set time each day for a couple of months or so, and then stopped having them, you would miss the chocolate. But you wouldn't be addicted to the stuff.

The old saying about "all things in moderation" is not a bad philosophy to live by in most cases. Enjoy one or two of drinks in the evening or over dinner if that's what you like. Enjoy a night out now and then when you have a few more drinks. As long as you don't seek to use alcohol to help you supress painful issues and can manage your life still, and are not having financial, work, health or relationship problems due to its consumption, you should be fine. :) The tendency to over worry is more a problem for many people.

Re: Alcoholic? How do you know?
 

Wolves. ('Dingles' is an affectionate nickname from the other end of the Black Country. They call the Albion 'Sandwell Town' or worse).

On the main subject, I agree that Pollyanna has really captured the essence of things in her post.

When in the UK a fellow mother from school was constantly turning up drunk, and several times was not allowed to take her kids home until she sobered up. On more than one occasion she asked my wife if she could collect her kids as she wasn't 'feeling well'! She solved these inconveniences by getting a childminder so she could continue drinking in peace.
From time to time she'd knock on the door saying that she'd had a row at home. (I knew her husband - he was a decent hardworking guy, who was probably extremely frustrated). My wife put it to her that she had a problem, and needed to sort herself out for the sake of her kids. She didn't come back again!