Moving in 10 days!

Old Sep 17th 2009, 8:45 pm
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Default Moving in 10 days!

Finally, after about 2 years of posting on this site my son and I are moving to Barbados to live with my partner, his father.

I'll be working but am keen to meet other women with young children, actually just other expats! My son is 10 months old.

I'm 29 and British, we'll be living in St James.

Anyone fancy a new friend? We're coming from SW London.
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Old Sep 17th 2009, 9:59 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

Wow, Fish, congrats!! You must be excited.

Good luck with the move and settling in.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 12:19 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

How dare you make gross assumptions about me and my family. I have plenty of Bajan friends, thank you very much. I am moving away from home for the first time in my life and think that having some friends that have done it too will help me settle in quicker and better. My son is from two different cultures and there is no way that he will grow up just understanding one of them.

How we choose to raise our son and conduct our lives is none of your business.

And as for saying Americans are not the nicest people, my sister in law is from the US as are a number of my friends and they are all lovely people.

Perhaps you need to lose a bit of your bitter attitude before you start attacking everyone on this site.

Originally Posted by Jane2009 View Post
Afish,

You said, “I’m keen to meet other women with young children, actually just other expats!”

If you only want to meet people like yourself, why in the world would you move to Barbados instead of staying in SW London? Your partner can live with you in SW London.

I am a Bajan. I live in the U.S. I have never been one to advertise for Bajan friends or to join Bajan clubs in the U.S. Americans are not the nicest people or the easiest people to get along with, but I don’t sit with groups of immigrants apart from them. When I want to be with Bajans, I fly to Barbados or attend a social gathering here and there. Most of the time, however, I hang out with whomever I cross paths with, regardless of where they are from. I choose to assimilate and not contribute to the segregation problem in the U.S.

Segregation has always been a problem in Barbados, but the problem is getting worse because of the heavy influx of foreigners from places like the U.S., the U.K., and Canada, and an influx of Indians from various places who only want to mingle with their own kind. If you start hanging out with some of the folks who comment on this site, no doubt when your son is ready for school, they will steer you toward enrolling him in a private school where most of the students are White or light skinned (The government schools have mostly dark skinned Black students). Next thing you know, at Crop Over time, he’ll be jumping in one of a couple of bands that have mostly White or light skinned people and ignore the numerous bands that have mostly dark skinned Black people. He will become a part of yet another generation of segregationists.

There are nine days left before you leave for Barbados. Please make up your mind to become a part of the solution and not a part of the problem in Barbados.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 12:52 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

Jane, I would say your comments are highly inflammatory

I am white (but please don't hold that against me), married to a Bajan who is also white (oh dear, more negative points for us I guess) and I am sick and tired of everything coming down to race.

How on earth do you know that Afish and her child are not dark skinned, why does it even matter? By making a point of it you are making an issue that then creates a problem and that then perpetuates this race issue.

I live in a very small village in the North of Barbados, chattel houses etc. We ARE the only white people in this village, it has never been an issue for me, my husband, my children or my neighbours.

My daughter goes to one of these schools you mention and maybe you should visit as there are children of all skin colours there, not just white/light skinned. She could go to a local school but I choose not to send her there as the school I do send her to gets better results, it was never a question of what colour of skin the children had and to even suggest that is highly derogatory.

I think afish is wise to want to help settle herself and her son in by getting to know other expats who have trod the path before her and to use their knowledge. Let's just remember this is a site for expats to help other expats, not for Bajans who no longer live here to comment on expats wanting to talk to each other and tell us how to live our lives.

I think it is attitudes like yours that do nothing to help, after all you don't seem to hold the residents of the country you live in in high regard yet you are preaching that we must do as you do not...

Sees a bit hypocrytical to me...
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 12:53 pm
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Originally Posted by afish View Post
Finally, after about 2 years of posting on this site my son and I are moving to Barbados to live with my partner, his father.

I'll be working but am keen to meet other women with young children, actually just other expats! My son is 10 months old.

I'm 29 and British, we'll be living in St James.

Anyone fancy a new friend? We're coming from SW London.
Hi there,

I will pm you my details, I live in St Lucy and have 2 little ones, the youngest is nearly 2...

Well done on making the move!

S
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 4:08 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

Jane having read many of your posts you obviously have strong viewpoints but seem to be set on posting them in a way that is just bound to get a negative reaction - is this your aim as I cant see how its helpful?

You seem to constantly be jumping on people and taking issue with their own personal requirements - i think its called trolling on internet sites (ie inciting trouble). I am all for healthy debate but you are constantly accusing people on the barbados site of all sorts from elitism to racism based on very little substantial information. You say you love Barbados and are constantly berating other countries including the UK and USA but choose to live outside of Barbados and i am sure you have your personal reasons for this that are no ones business just as other peoples personal preferences in friendships and social interraction are no one elses business.

I mentioned before that I really appreciate healthy debate but please stop jumping on people just because they express an interest that is different from your own - no one is forcing you to make friends with Bajans in US but then again I do hope no one would have an issue with you wanting to meet people from your homeland and im sure you would give them short shrift if they even tried.

You make so many assumptions in your posts and from one human being to another regardless of age colour creed or social interaction it just aint coming over as a positive interaction which is a shame as im sure from other posts that you have positive contributions.

Could I just point out this is called "British Expats" so please dont be suprised when you are reading comments from Expats who want to keep some of their "roots" in tact whilst relocating as its the whole point of the site. A Bajan living in US may not actually find any other purpose for this site other than trolling but i hope that this is not the case and you are willing to help out in areas that Expats could really utilise "expert" local advise just as other helpful bajans have offered in the past.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 5:00 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

A few things.

1. Jane - you're wrong. Black people congregrate in groups in the UK, they have various organisations, clubs and societies to facilitate this and nobody would call them racist. It's just nice to mix with people SOMETIMES with that one similarity. Afish wasn't saying she was ONLY looking for expat friends, merely that she'd like to meet some. Perhaps at present she doesn't know any.

2. Jane - you're irrelevant. Even if Afish was some nasty old racist who only wanted white friends, it's not really of your concern until she starts spreading hatred and intolerant words on this board. Nothing in her original post suggested that, so do yourself a favour and don't make posts with the specific intention of stirring up trouble. You spread a lot more hate and intolerance than Afish ever did.

3. Afish - my partner is 31 and I'm 27, we moved to Barbados from Holland Park, London; we have a 4-year old, and my PA (an expat who lives out here also) has an 18-month old child. Drop us a line when you arrive, I'm sure we'd have lots in common!
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 5:01 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

Oh, and @Afish, we're also in St. James - so we may be neighbours!
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Old Sep 19th 2009, 2:23 am
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Originally Posted by Ikon View Post

3. Afish - my partner is 31 and I'm 27, we moved to Barbados from Holland Park, London; we have a 4-year old, and my PA (an expat who lives out here also) has an 18-month old child. Drop us a line when you arrive, I'm sure we'd have lots in common!
I hope that invite extends to us all, I have a 5 yr old and a 23 month old - always happy to meet new friends, with or without children and I don't even care what colour your skin tone is (sorry, childish I know but I had a red wine treat this evening)
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Old Sep 19th 2009, 2:26 am
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

Yes of course, we were gonna crash one of your meet-ups but we travel a lot so missed the last one while we were out of the country. Hope to put faces to lots of names very soon at the next one though!

And...... red wine will do that to you LOL!
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Old Sep 19th 2009, 2:31 am
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It would appear so, I should really head to bed as the youngest WILL be awake at 5am no matter what...

Hope to meet up soon!

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Old Sep 19th 2009, 3:28 am
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

I'd also love a family get together one weekend, we have two little ones, a girl of 3 and a 4 month old. My 3 year old would dearly love to meet some more little people, and we're always up for a glass of vino!
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Old Sep 19th 2009, 11:58 am
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

I'm happily child-free, but would still enjoy a meet-up.
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Old Sep 19th 2009, 5:32 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

OK, who's good at organising? I'm thinking of a get together maybe at Barclays Park or somewhere that kids can run around and adults can chat, eat and drink on a Saturday or Sunday when Fish is in. We have a small gazebo and table and chairs, if folks bring their tables, chairs and picnics it could be fun. What does everyone think? I'm getting excited at the prospect....
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Old Sep 20th 2009, 3:14 pm
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Default Re: Moving in 10 days!

Originally Posted by Jane2009 View Post
Ikon,

you said, “You spread a lot more hate and intolerance than Afish ever did.” You are wrong, Ikon. Sometimes little things that immigrants do like giving the impression that they only want expatriate friends or expatriate playmates for their children, or only want their children to go to what are essentially expatriate schools, or only want to hang out in expatriate clubs, or make condescending remarks on sites like this about how the natives do things fuel more intolerance and hatred than anything an “irrelevant” person like me utters.

Think about that.
I disagree. I'm not sure the original poster every intended to say that she 'only' wanted expat friends. I actually assumed the issue was that she had met lots of Bajan people and had Bajan friends already, but would appreciate meeting some of us who have moved here and been through the same. That's why I replied to her the way I did -- because I think we have some things in common. Wanting to be friends with a fellow expat doesn't preclude having Bajan friends. In fact..... brace yourself, Jane - this may shock you..... we can probably all socialise together (Bajans, Brits, Americans, Martians), at the same time!!!! Wouldn't that be marvellous?

Sorry, I'm sure you think you're right, but I just think you're a 'troll' and not useful to this board at all.
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