When does it feel worth it?
Sep 21st 2014, 6:42 pm
#46
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Joined: May 2012
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Re: When does it feel worth it?
John, this is the 'Back Home' forum and it's inevitable that most of the posts are from people who are delighted to be 'home' again. That doesn't matter, you're entitled to express your point of view too, and several people have already said they're interested, so go for it.
I understand how you feel, and this whole topic is subjective. I think it mainly depends on why people emigrated in the first place, their expectations and experiences, and their reasons for wanting to return. I also assume that there must be thousands, if not tens of thousands, of people who are perfectly happy in their new homes, have never heard of BE, and don't have any reason to post here anyway.
I was born and grew up in the UK (Scottish father and South African mother), lived in Hong Kong for a few years after I graduated, and emigrated to SA in 1980. My wife decided to return in 2006 - for personal reasons that I'm not going to go into - but I stayed. She persuaded me to come back in 2009 and I've been splitting my time between the two countries since then, but my heart sinks every time I get on a plane in Joburg.
Why? Both my kids (and my grandson) live in SA. They were born there, enjoy the lifestyle, and have no desire to leave. I love Africa, warts and all. The space; big skies; sun/heat and crackling cold, dry, winter nights on the highveld; the bush, mountains and coast; the people; my friends, somewhat laid back life and even the edginess of Joburg.
I have nothing but respect for people who decide that emigrating was a mistake, and come back to the UK. It takes courage to admit that you made a mistake and go through the process of starting again in this country, but it's not for me.
The final chapter of this story is about to be written. My wife has decided she wants to go 'home', back to SA...!
I understand how you feel, and this whole topic is subjective. I think it mainly depends on why people emigrated in the first place, their expectations and experiences, and their reasons for wanting to return. I also assume that there must be thousands, if not tens of thousands, of people who are perfectly happy in their new homes, have never heard of BE, and don't have any reason to post here anyway.
I was born and grew up in the UK (Scottish father and South African mother), lived in Hong Kong for a few years after I graduated, and emigrated to SA in 1980. My wife decided to return in 2006 - for personal reasons that I'm not going to go into - but I stayed. She persuaded me to come back in 2009 and I've been splitting my time between the two countries since then, but my heart sinks every time I get on a plane in Joburg.
Why? Both my kids (and my grandson) live in SA. They were born there, enjoy the lifestyle, and have no desire to leave. I love Africa, warts and all. The space; big skies; sun/heat and crackling cold, dry, winter nights on the highveld; the bush, mountains and coast; the people; my friends, somewhat laid back life and even the edginess of Joburg.
I have nothing but respect for people who decide that emigrating was a mistake, and come back to the UK. It takes courage to admit that you made a mistake and go through the process of starting again in this country, but it's not for me.
The final chapter of this story is about to be written. My wife has decided she wants to go 'home', back to SA...!
: Glad your wife is coming back to join you! With all the instability in the world especially Europe and Middle East I think the next decade is going to be tough! My OH never really wanted to go back to UK but will for my sake but now we are seriously thinking that perhaps where we are living we are safe and sound! We will travel yearly via UK to Cape Town for 3 months now from here visiting both our families and see what happens!
Sep 21st 2014, 8:03 pm
#47
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Re: When does it feel worth it?
: Glad your wife is coming back to join you! With all the instability in the world especially Europe and Middle East I think the next decade is going to be tough! My OH never really wanted to go back to UK but will for my sake but now we are seriously thinking that perhaps where we are living we are safe and sound! We will travel yearly via UK to Cape Town for 3 months now from here visiting both our families and see what happens!
Sep 21st 2014, 8:13 pm
#48
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Joined: May 2012
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Re: When does it feel worth it?
Sep 21st 2014, 10:21 pm
#49
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 203
Re: When does it feel worth it?
John like other posters have said, it's such an individual decision and I don't think anyone can judge someone else - what matters is that you live where you feel happiest.
I moved back to the UK in April. I don't regret doing it (I need to sort out in my heart the sorrow I felt at being away from the UK) but I am seriously contemplating moving back to Canada next year if my financial situation does not improve.
While I got a job quite quickly in the UK, it's very low pay and I have very little left over once all the bills are paid. The rents here are extremely high and the security of renters is very poor (as are attitudes towards them). In this regard, I really miss my nice Canadian apartment. However I couldn't get work in Ontario ... I'm now contemplating moving back to another part of Canada or doing another postgraduate degree to improve my work prospects in Canada.
There are things I love about being in the UK and there are things I miss about Canada. There are things I find really difficult in the UK and things that I don't miss about Canada. Everything is dependent upon the individual and their situation.
The one thing I would say is that, if you don't have enough money to buy a place, the UK is a very hard place to rent in, particularly in the South (and it's not just London where the rental market is difficult), where the majority of the jobs tend to be. If you can rent in the North it's cheaper but that also depends on finding work there. Since I got back, I have already had one difficult experience with a UK landlord which took me right back to my student days - he took the thermostat away from the house I am currently living in and told me that the heating isn't going on until December at the earliest. Shortly after, I decided that I needed to live somewhere else because I couldn't stomach living with someone else imposing that kind of rule on my life when I'm paying them so much money for a tiny room (in addition to a few other factors). So I'm moving to a flat of my own but the rent is horrendous and will leave me with relatively little to live on. Despite this, I have met some lovely people where I live and I'm determined to make the best of where I am for now ... but the UK may not be a forever option for me. And I'm okay with that and if anyone judges me for it, that's there problem!!
I moved back to the UK in April. I don't regret doing it (I need to sort out in my heart the sorrow I felt at being away from the UK) but I am seriously contemplating moving back to Canada next year if my financial situation does not improve.
While I got a job quite quickly in the UK, it's very low pay and I have very little left over once all the bills are paid. The rents here are extremely high and the security of renters is very poor (as are attitudes towards them). In this regard, I really miss my nice Canadian apartment. However I couldn't get work in Ontario ... I'm now contemplating moving back to another part of Canada or doing another postgraduate degree to improve my work prospects in Canada.
There are things I love about being in the UK and there are things I miss about Canada. There are things I find really difficult in the UK and things that I don't miss about Canada. Everything is dependent upon the individual and their situation.
The one thing I would say is that, if you don't have enough money to buy a place, the UK is a very hard place to rent in, particularly in the South (and it's not just London where the rental market is difficult), where the majority of the jobs tend to be. If you can rent in the North it's cheaper but that also depends on finding work there. Since I got back, I have already had one difficult experience with a UK landlord which took me right back to my student days - he took the thermostat away from the house I am currently living in and told me that the heating isn't going on until December at the earliest. Shortly after, I decided that I needed to live somewhere else because I couldn't stomach living with someone else imposing that kind of rule on my life when I'm paying them so much money for a tiny room (in addition to a few other factors). So I'm moving to a flat of my own but the rent is horrendous and will leave me with relatively little to live on. Despite this, I have met some lovely people where I live and I'm determined to make the best of where I am for now ... but the UK may not be a forever option for me. And I'm okay with that and if anyone judges me for it, that's there problem!!
Last edited by Englishmaple; Sep 21st 2014 at 10:23 pm.
Sep 21st 2014, 10:31 pm
#50
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Joined: Jul 2008
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Re: When does it feel worth it?
Like your post Englishmaple.. Good luck..
Sep 22nd 2014, 3:36 am
#51
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Re: When does it feel worth it?
so glad to hear how you are getting along Englishmaple.If you go back to Canada, at leat you tried the U.K. I know rent is so much there and then council tax on top of that. I think its hard to make it nearly everwhere these days.. frightening. Take care.
Sep 22nd 2014, 8:39 am
#52
Was in Canada, now home.
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Devon
Posts: 3,388
Re: When does it feel worth it?
I'm sorry the rental thing hasn't worked out E.M. You were having difficulties with the landlord right from the beginning, I recall.
I'm sorry too that you are having to contemplate returning to Canada just because of the cost of housing.
I'm sorry too that you are having to contemplate returning to Canada just because of the cost of housing.
Oct 18th 2014, 9:37 am
#53
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 32
Re: When does it feel worth it?
I think if there is anything I have learned from the move back to the UK is that my unsettledness had little to do with where i was in the world and all to do with my own psyche. My dad, many years ago said "geography doesn't solve your problems." Maybe he had learned it also because he was cursed, though to a lesser extent than I, with the wonder lust bug. Not that I or my dad had a problem per say, but the inability to settle can leave you feeling like you have a monkey on your back and your always chasing something (but don't know what that something is). After this move I've now come to the conclusion, no matter where I go in this world, I will never be satisfied and will have to simply adjust my life to accommodate that (Is there a 12 step program for impulsive travellers). Having 3 passports and the ability to work in most of the world certainly helps to facilitate it, that's for sure. My first few months back in the UK had me thinking I had cracked it. I had a dream job and a fairly good village (with a good pub - very important!) to live, but 7 months on I'm looking over the horizon again. I look at people who have lived their entire life in a small village and have never desired to go anywhere and I envy that stability. But so many that have been tracking my life say they envy my vagabond life style and impulsive ability to pull up stakes and go off somewhere. Maybe you have a wonder lust thats fighting your desire to settle down. You just can't win can ya.
Anyways I need to clean the house ta ta for now.
Anyways I need to clean the house ta ta for now.
Oct 19th 2014, 2:30 am
#54
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Joined: Oct 2011
Location: HOME!!!!!!
Posts: 454
Re: When does it feel worth it?
I think if there is anything I have learned from the move back to the UK is that my unsettledness had little to do with where i was in the world and all to do with my own psyche. My dad, many years ago said "geography doesn't solve your problems." Maybe he had learned it also because he was cursed, though to a lesser extent than I, with the wonder lust bug. Not that I or my dad had a problem per say, but the inability to settle can leave you feeling like you have a monkey on your back and your always chasing something (but don't know what that something is). After this move I've now come to the conclusion, no matter where I go in this world, I will never be satisfied and will have to simply adjust my life to accommodate that (Is there a 12 step program for impulsive travellers). Having 3 passports and the ability to work in most of the world certainly helps to facilitate it, that's for sure. My first few months back in the UK had me thinking I had cracked it. I had a dream job and a fairly good village (with a good pub - very important!) to live, but 7 months on I'm looking over the horizon again. I look at people who have lived their entire life in a small village and have never desired to go anywhere and I envy that stability. But so many that have been tracking my life say they envy my vagabond life style and impulsive ability to pull up stakes and go off somewhere. Maybe you have a wonder lust thats fighting your desire to settle down. You just can't win can ya.
Anyways I need to clean the house ta ta for now.
Anyways I need to clean the house ta ta for now.
